Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Help - dd1 dawdling in the morning driving me nuts!

17 replies

mrsshackleton · 27/01/2010 09:10

DD1 is nearly five, in reception. She is increeedibly slow in the mornings and always in a filthy mood. It takes her about 45 minutes to eat breakfast and only with much nagging from dh and I, so everyone ends up in a bad mood.

This morning she was still eating breakfast at a snail's pace at 8.48, Luckily school is only a five-ten (depending on dawdling) walk away but we always end up having to get her dressed like it's a pit stop and rushing her out of the door, in tears saying we're nasty.

I don't know how best to tackle this. DD1 loves sleep and would, if she could, sleep until well after 9am most days. I think the only way to get through breakfast is to get her up earlier but dh refuses to do this as she's so grumpy if we wake her before 7.45 earliest.

I've tried a reward chart for eating quickly but the idea of that just sends her into meltdown and doesn't make her hurry. Next year she may go to a different school, which is further away and I'm already dreading the morning fights. Advice appreciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MrsLau · 27/01/2010 09:41

Hi,
Does she have any sleep problems ir apnea, my daughter did and she was exactly the same. My son is also like this but not grumpy just slooooooow in the mornings. I find that if i get him dressed the min he gets up then allow him 30 mins to wake properly, watch tv for a bit and have a drink i can usually get him out the door on time.....imagine what they will be like as teenagers if they are this slow now lol. x

dinkystinky · 27/01/2010 09:44

What time does she go to bed? Could you bring it forwards?

I have to admit I get my DS1 ready upstairs - dressed, teethbrushed - and let him have a little play before breakfast so he's fully awake by then and eats breakfast quicker - if I try to get him to eat before he gets dressed it takes for ever

CirrhosisByTheSea · 27/01/2010 09:46

aww I have sympathy, mornings sound grim!

and I know how she feels have been known to be grumpy myself in the am

I assume that in reception she'll be having milk when she gets there, and a fruit snack in the morning? This seemed to be standard round here, is it the same for you?

If so, I would perhaps lighten up on the breakfast issue and give her a very light breakfast like some yoghurt or something that doesn't take a lot of eating at all.

Perhaps try a new routine where she gets dressed as soon as she gets up? Before she comes downstairs? Perhaps you could bribe her a bit - "if you get dressed now, Dad will be putting out a treat for you downstairs"....could be something tiny but enough to spur her on?

another idea that has worked for us is morning childrens TV, know it doesn't work for everyone as some say it makes behaviour work, but with us it's been great. DS gets dressed in front of a particular programme, so it's like a little cue for him to always know when it's time.

Hope some of this might help!

Original poster

mrsshackleton · 27/01/2010 09:58

Thank you all very much, these are all great ideas - however

DD1 is a very messy eater so i can't really let her get dressed before breakfast as I'd just have to change her afterwards

I want her to have a decent breakfast as she is a fussy eater and the breakfast she has (Weetabix and chopped fruits) is by far the healthiest meal of the day for her

Our TV is on a different floor from our kitchen, so having it on in the morning doesn't really work as we'd all have to move upstairs to our living room

She does go to sleep far too late, bedtime is officially 7.30 but she plays in her bed often until as late as nine or 10. The problem is we can't force her to go to sleep. Dh and I have decided we're going to try to gradually make the room darker by shutting the door more, buying a dimmer night light, so she might play less.

Gaah. This is the kind of issue that would seem so straightforward before you have children

OP posts:

minxofmancunia · 27/01/2010 10:02

could try earlier bed?

Also set a time limit on breakfast say 20 mins then clear away if not eaten. Have started doing this with dd (3) and she's a lot quicker with meals as a result.

also shove clothes on her before she's properly awake and has less energy to protest.

stick her in front of the tv and give her a cereal bar instead

offer rewards for being on time.

you have my sympathies, my dd has inherited my dhs faffing gene...drives me nuts as i'm pretty brisk!

minxofmancunia · 27/01/2010 10:03

bibs with sleeves, total cover up?

CirrhosisByTheSea · 27/01/2010 10:06

I am with you on the late to go to sleep thing - this is my ds and always has been. You're right, there is no way you can force a child to sleep - we have said to DS, no toys in bed and even if he is simply snuggled down with a teddy, he still takes hours to drop off!

I think in view of what you've said, that your DH is wrong and that your best option is to get her up at 7. Don't tell her it's earlier and she won't know to be extra grumpy Do all as normal, get her dressed asap after breakfast, and then...oh, aren't we clever we're ready early, what are you going to play with?

got to be worth a try?

Fimblehobbs · 27/01/2010 10:11

DS has breakfast fully dressed with a teatowel tucked in his top, it works a lot better to be dressed before eating and the teatowel saves the mess.

That said we are all grumpy in our house in the mornings and they are usually stressful times. Am thinking of doing a sticker chart or something so they can earn 'sweets after school' instead of DH and ILs just giving them out willy nilly anyway.

Fimblehobbs · 27/01/2010 10:12

Oh yes, and have you tried varying breakfast a bit? DS used to be a massive weetabix fan but hes bored of it now. Tried some crunchy nut cornflakes and he eats that a lot faster.

chopstheduck · 27/01/2010 10:34

Tell her she will go to school in her PJs if she doesn't hurry up and eat, because you are leaving at 8.40 whether she is ready or not?

Promise her if she is ready by 8.30 she can watch ten minutes of tv before you leave the house?

CirrhosisByTheSea · 27/01/2010 10:40

I did find with ds that it worked (still works!) if I ponder aloud what his teacher would advise if only she knew about this behaviour, and perhaps I'd ask.......

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 27/01/2010 10:52

I think you need to encourage her to go to sleep earlier.
Definitely no toys in bed and lights off. We leave the landing light on with the door slightly ajar. Tell her if she lies down and tries to sleep you will leave her door, but if she gets up or plays it will have to be closed.
Wake her earlier, at 7, and allow more time for breakfast. If she gets to sleep before 8 this will be less of a problem.

Our routine is
7- get up, breakfast/ telly/ coming round from sleep time. If she dawdles with breakfast the tv goes off.
7.45- wash, brush teeth
8- get dressed/hair brushed.

We are usually ready for 8.20, giving her time to play/read before setting off at 8.35.

Keep it very regimented, this helps dd know what is coming next, and gives her less room for moaning/ '5 more minutes' etc.

Original poster

mrsshackleton · 27/01/2010 11:56

Thanks again, I'm going to try a variation on most of these tips - darker room, different breakfast, bibs, pomise of playtime after breakfast

The problem with the earlier start is dh goes bonkers having to wait around while dd1 eats the slowest breakfast in history. He argues if we're down at 7.45 she has plenty of time to eat AND dress and indeed normally that would be plenty of time.

I think dh has to be persuaded to be a bit more patient and dd1 has to learn to hurry up A BIT

OP posts:

CeciC · 27/01/2010 13:39

Hi,
My 5 year old used to get dressed very slow. The solution, give her a sort of time table, if she hasn't finnished breakfast and get dressed, she goes on her pjs and get changed at school. Make no fuss, don't get upset is she doesn't do it the first few days, just warn her of what will happen is she doesn't get changed on time.
I used to pack the clothes in a bag and take her in the car to the childminder (she was 3 then) just with underwear and the coat on top. She learn to go faster.

TheHouseofMirth · 27/01/2010 14:08

DS, who is the same age is very similar on the eating front and I've no advice there.

He is also an Owl rather than a Lark and much as I hate to interfere with natural sleep rhythms I think now they're at school you have to try and influence things a bit as it's likely your DD really isn't getting enough sleep. DS would probably stay up all night given half a chance so we stay with him at bedtime. We do stories etc downstairs then when he goes upstairs at 8.30pm it's straight to bed, lights out. Sometimes he's asleep in 5 minutes, sometimes it half an hour but he is lying down in bed and relaxed. Left to his own devices he would be haring around and playing.

gottasmile · 28/01/2010 18:47

I agree with waking her earlier, eventually this might make her fall asleep earlier in the evening.

Gubbins · 29/01/2010 15:15

She's really going to struggle if she is only getting 10 hours sleep.

Try and get her tired before bedtime. Go out for a bike ride round the block after supper or do dancing in the sitting room, then bath/warm milk/stories/bed. Don't have any toys in the bedroom and keep the room properly dark. Allow very quiet music or a story tape to give her something to concentrate on, it can make it easier to fall asleep. And get her up earlier. It sounds like she's grumpy in the morning anyway, so it's not going to make much difference and at least you'll be calmer.

Flip