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ok - so give me your strategies for two years olds

11 replies

janx · 25/01/2010 21:09

Ds - recently turned two - takes absoutely no notice of me - everything is a battle - nappy change, getting dressed - no interested in bribes or praise. Mornings are a nightmare. He has few words btw....what do you do?

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Tori27 · 25/01/2010 21:23

My daughter doesn't seem to care if I shout (doesn't even flinch) so somebody gave me a tip. Very calmly get down to his or her level and whisper in their ear. Don't ask eg "shall we put your nappy on now?" instead state eg "I am going to change your nappy, THEN we can play a lovely game".

I didn't believe it would work but then lost my voice completely for 4 days. Every time DD started a tantrum she would have to stop so she could hear me.

I also find it's best to explain what is going to happen. My DH often just starts pulling down DD's tights to change her nappy without telling her and that never goes well! If she starts to kick off (and I have time) I say "In two minutes we are going to get dressed." That way she has time to get her head around it.

Other than that... it's a phase and WILL pass. Good luck xxx

teaandcakeplease · 25/01/2010 21:26

I posted this on someone else's thread earlier with a tricky toddler, my two pennies worth was that there are parent classes run at Sure Start centres you could go on. Your HV will be able to tell you about them. This may give you ideas. Some of my friends have been on them and found them really helpful.

I tend to tell my LO when she throws an almighty tantrum "that won't work my friend" and walk away. As long as she is safe, I just walk away and say that I am leaving the room and that she can come and find me when feeling better. As even if they do not talk much yet, they often understand; use words you know that they know. The truth is I try to keep an eye on her when I leave but make sure she's not aware (peek through hinge) I often find that once she realises I'm not taking any notice she gets up and stops shouting.

Afterwards I try to resolve it by saying "now that was silly making all that fuss come and say sorry and have a cuddle".

I find if I react to the tantrums, she does it more often. Almost attention seeking, who knows?

Obviously if out and about you cannot do that. I try distraction and if that doesn't work, I tend to abandon the trip and get home. Then when we got home I'd say you cannot play with "favourite toy" when we get home as you've misbehaved.

Has something triggered this behaviour, apart from the old "terrible two's" as they call it . Something changed recently?

I think this is a controversial area and lots of people will have different ideas. I think as long as you and your partner/ husband agree and are consistent sooner or later it'll pass.

If you're already doing lots of praising as well and keep doing that. You're approaching things the right way. My daughter is 2 and a half and it's a tricky time when they're this age, sending you a virtual hug. Hope someone else has some advice for you x

janx · 25/01/2010 21:28

We do say - time for a nappy change now and he just screams the house down - its like I am truly about to do something absoutly horrendous. Tried - lets do nappy now and then you can watch tv, have a biscuit/sticker/go to the park. However at nursery he lies there like the best boy ever
Will try and whisper it to him - if he will stay still long enough

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teaandcakeplease · 25/01/2010 21:28

Tori's ideas are very good. Hadn't thought of those x

jojochanel · 25/01/2010 22:28

sauvignon blanc? - it will pass. 2-3 is a living nightmare

stealthsquiggle · 25/01/2010 22:30

jojo - I was going to say Gin.

hairymelons · 25/01/2010 22:40

janx, DS also hates having his nappy changed at home but doesn't mind at nursery! Grr.
It goes better if he has a toy or a book to play with, I sing songs and blow raspberries on his tummy- basically a 'shock and awe' campaign of distractions. Requires energy though so sometimes I just let him moan and struggle.

Whispering REALLY works by the way. DS will stop shouting and get really close to my mouth so he can hear what I'm saying.

Finally, I find a bit of empathy goes a long way. If pre-warning of the coming 'happy nappy' and distraction don't work, I help him say what's going on and he calms down much quicker. Along the lines of "you don't like having your nappy changed do you? You want to back downstairs and play with you toys. We'll count to ten then nappy will be all done" Or summink. He nods and says "toys! down! all done!"

It is a massive PITA just for a clean bum though. So I only change him after a poo

Heated · 25/01/2010 22:40

Gin

janx · 26/01/2010 15:11

Bit early for Gin at 6.30 in the morning!

We try everything - letting him have a toy - blowing raspberries etc -bribes etc. It really depends on his mood....he is so different from his sister who never batted an eyelid when having her nappy done

Tried the whispering today....and it worked, but dp tried it for getting him dressed and he just ran off - oh well at least it worked for me ..........thanks for all the advice

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missorinoco · 26/01/2010 15:20

Don't ask, just tell. I accidentally asked DS, "Shall we change your nappy?" and got the asnwer "Not today, maybe tommorrow." That'll teach me.

Warnings are also good. In 2mins we are going to....then, in 1 min we are going to.... (esp if it involves turning off the television). Also I give DS a choice (albeit a rubbish one, but it's a lot about control I think). Such as, "We are going to turn the television off. Do you want to turn it off?" If no response, I tell him I will count to three, and if he hasn't turned it off after three I will.

I seem to recall none of these worked immediately, but have an insidious effect. Gin, on the other hand, works pretty fast, or sherry is more socially acceptable in the morning I think.

Lastly, my DS is an angel for nursery too. The time I asked them how they got him to eat broccoli and they told me they had no problem getting him to eat anything I was very .

Rollmops · 26/01/2010 19:46

Distraction works for us with 2.1 year old twins.
When DTs start wriggling like worms on acidand laughing-squealing-giggling-jumping, as they do at nappy time, we start asking 'difficult' questions, i.e, do giraffes make honey? Cue fleeting puzzled look and,'nooooo, Mummy/Daddy, bees make honey' with full roll-eyes stuff at daft parentials. Or - do owls eat apples? Noooo, owls eat mice...etc....etc.

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