Help me understand why my dd (almost 6) behaves like a brat ?

[Summerfruit]

It really stresses me out. She doesnt do what she is told at once. She is rude. She answers back. Ok to give you an exemple :

All last week, she has been grounded after school (5 minutes in her bedroom)because she didnt listen to me : She ran away with her friend instead of staying with me, her little sister follow her and its dangerous as she is not street wise. I'm also a cm so sometimes I push a double or a tripple buggy so I cant be fast. Once dd1, went accross the road without me and her little sister followed her. They could have had an accident. Also dd1 has 2 friends who also behave like brat (dd thinks the world of them), one of this girl called her mum stupid more than few times and the mum never told her off..now dd is starting to behave like this. She called her sister stupid, I have punished her and she told me that she didnt care.

I understand she is exited after school but I cant tolerate this attitude. On the way back, I'm the only one mum who tells her dd to behave. Am I a old bag ?

I dont know what to do anymore, my dds are really hard to deal with plus the childminding. The situation is becoming unbearable

You think she is a brat, because she does not listen to you?

Sorry, that was really unhelpful, but i was just a little shocked that you would refer to what you feel is inappropriate behaviour as your child behaving like a brat.

Do you think it could be too much to look after the children AND childmind atm? Maybe she needs a bit more of your attention?

I'm sorry, I think she is sometimes a brat when she is being mean without reasons.

She could need more attention but I cant give up the childminding as I dont have any other way to earn a salary.

Thank you pavlov !

bump

If you are pushing a buggy then for me (my boys are 6 and 3 - 3 yr old is still in pushchair on way to school but walks home) if they do not do as I say, 3 yr old is back in the pushchair with straps on and 6 year old is made to hold onto the pram the whole way home (1/2 mile)

If they show that they can behave holding on (lots of praise for doing the good stuff) then I will tell them that I am trusting them to walk home nicely without being restricted by pushchair & holding on. They mess around too much they are back to the pushchair.

Also can you walk a slightly different way home to said friend or walk before them or after them?

We have a rule as there are several Mums who all walk in the same direction that if the children start messing around together we split up. We attend a massive primary school, 90 children per school year so it is busy.

It is hard, you have my sympathy. Re the "I don't care" it is a knee jerk response that all the children say but they may not mean. Punishment may need to be stuff that they really love such as a tv program or a favourite toy taken off them for a set time. I'm not sure how effective a bedroom punishment is.

Our "time out" place is the dining room, absolutely ZERO stuff to look at to occupy their minds, they get bored very quick

Hi Fizzle !

Thank you for your post ! The holding the pram bit is the thing I cant achieve with dd1, DD2 goes in the pram if she runs away hence her screaming until we get home.

I tought of leaving ealier or later than the other mums as anyway I'm scared they are going to judge me for being a shouty mum..I'm the only who says : no dd1, you know you have to stay next to me, you are going to be grounded when we get home..she looks at me and she grins.

I have done the "you cant you watch your fav programm", she is upset for 5 minutes then spend 2 hours teasing her sister..

I'm finding it extremely hard childminding and being a mother at the same time.

Have you read 'How to talk so kids will listen?'

My DCs (5 and 6) find it really hard to listen when there are peers about so I try to save my shouting for safety issues. (Easier said than done!)

If the other child wasn't upset by the name calling, I'd probably pretend I hadn't heard. At this age, they remember things for a while so I usually wait to properly discuss issues such as name calling when I have their full attention and they have mine.