2.5 yo DD just hits me - what can I do?

[Rindercella]

DD is usually the sweetest, nicest little girl. She is very affectionate, and loves giving big hugs & kisses. She's normally pretty calm, but like most toddlers can suffer from OCD tendencies (she has to get her cutlery out, turn the light on, etc). Everyone thinks she's a little angel. And she is, except when she seems to suddenly turn angry with me and starts hitting me - hard.

I have tried just about everything to get her to stop, but it'll take ages for her to calm down. I have tried to restrain her, to remove her, tell her no, it hurts Mummy, even shouting at her loudly. All to no avail. If she can't hit me, she kicks me. If she can't kick me, she'll bite me. If all else fails, she'll pull my hair. She seems to get transfixed with trying to hurt me & I have no idea why. This usally happens at bedtime, when she's having a chill down session after her bath & before putting her into bed.

One last thing is that I am quite heavily pregnant, but she appears to love the bump, is always chatting about her little baby sister and when she sees my bare bump if I'm getting dressed, she'll rush to hug & kiss it. She never, ever does this to DH.

Does anyone have any advice about what I can do to persuade her to stop this? I am getting fed up of being hurt (it does hurt - I have several bruises on my arms from her biting me), and also fed up with her going to bed with me being angry at her.

You can't "persuade" a 2.5 year easily especially when overtired. You need ot stop engaigin in debate and physically as that is giving attention to her misbehaviour.

Can you identify what triggers it ? Perhaps move the bedtime routine a bit earlier, does she really need the chill out time or can she go straight to bed after bath. Reward her for good behaviour so if she makes no fuss she gets to choose a story, if not quietly put her to bed and leave her to calm down.

Ha! Yes, perhaps 'persuade' wasn't the best word to use

I have tried ignoring her too, but for how long? I just cannot tolerate being hit harder and harder for very long.

Yes, think a change in the bedtime routine would be a good idea. Atm, DH tends to give her a bath and then reads to her, and I put her to bed. I think he tends to wind her up a bit too, hence the need for me being there to help wind her down. That's going to have to change anyway in the very near future as DD2 is just around the corner. DH has gone to footie today & won't be back til late, so I think tomorrow would be a good day for him to start doing the bedtime routine from start to finish.

ok what worked for us was the very first bit of physical anything (kicking biting... actualy with ds it was nostly hitting) we removed ds from the room/activity/us and put him in the hall (other room at someones house, outside the supermarket... whatever)for 2 minutes on his own. Eventualy we labelled this time out. No warnings are given at the time of the incident but we explained before we started that hitting/kicking etc was NOT Aloud and that if he did this then this is what would happen. So we don't do warnigns or reasoning it's just instant consequence as physical violance is the one non negotiable in our house....When we go back we say mummy/daddy put you in time out because you hit mummy, we don't do hitting. Wasn't an overnight cure but did work within 2 weeks. Now very occasioanly he hits, but it's very rare.

I don't hit you so don't hit me works here, but I think my DD was a bit older...

Oh dear Tarka, are you going through similar?

Thank you all for your suggestions. I think the key is to change the routine and for DH to start putting her to bed himself. Hopefully that way he will see what switches shouldn't be pressed just before bedtime! We have got ourselves into a routine: I always put DD to bed as the last thing she used to have was a breast feed, then straight to bed. She self-weaned just after her 2nd b'day, and we have just carried on in the routine, which is a bit rubbish for me tbh, and is just not going to work when DD2 comes along in March.