DS biting again, don't know what to do

[tattycoram]

My DS went through a long phase of hitting and sometimes biting other children. It got particularly bad when he started nursery at 2 but it had stopped - I thought it was because he had got a bit older and had just grown out of it.

Anyway,DH picked him up from nursery yesterday and he had bitten another child and a teacher. He had been stopped from doing drama which is his favourite thing and the nursery wants us to meet to discussion strategies, which is obviously a sensible idea. The thing is I have no idea what to do about it. He doesnt bite children when I am with him and when he did when he was younger, I would tell him off and take him away from that child to sit in the hall, or sometimes take him home.

I feel really anxious about it as he must understand what he's doing now - he's 3 - so why does he do it?

discuss strategies that should read

I think it is well within normal to have a 3 yr old biter, So long as they are consistent, I'm sure he will outgrow it very soon.

I would just go along, meet with the nursery, and let them tell you what their plan is re consequences for biting. Let them know that this is an issue that you WOULD be happy to back up at home but that he simply doesn't do it when with you.

then you're both sides clear on this issue, and the ball is firmly in the nursery's court.

Personally, my view has always been that you don't tell him off all over again when you meet. Nursery should give the consequence, and you don't have to back them up by doing it again....

Yes, that was almost my instinct and when I got home DH was talking to him about it and he just looked exhausted and upset. I didn't think he needed another big lecture/interrogation

always not almost
am so distracted this morning!

My ds1 was a biter up until 3 1/2 .... and I know how awful it is for the parents, mum especially. I was always one step behind him just in case he decided to sink his teeth into some poor unsuspecting kiddy. He had stopped a while before starting nursery at 2 1/2, but just like your ds, started again 2-3 weeks into the term. I was mortified as I thought he had grown out of it. The nursery dealt with everything and within about 4-5 weeks he had stopped. THIS WILL PASS .. HONEST. I'm not sure what strategies the nursery can discuss with you as it's happening in their care - they just need to get on with it. I was told it was territorial and insecurities causing it - that's why it started up again once he had started nursery and was separated from me. Don't despair ! My biter is now a delightful 13 year old who is horrified when I tell him of his 'chomping' sprees Good luck!

Thanks, I find it so reassuring to hear stories like that. I never think our nursery has a very clear idea of what to do other than hover about him and stop him before he bites