Telling a child 'you could have been killed'

[Pumpkin20]

My DD (nearly 3) has just walked into the kitchen with a plastic sandwich bag on her head.

Obviously I whipped it off and told her I was very cross, it was very, very dangerous and she could hurt herself badly, and that she should never, ever do it again.

Last week she slipped my hand in a car park and ran off - I told her the same.

At what age is it appropriate to frighten a child by telling them 'you could have been killed'.

Any thoughts?

I'd say never. 'Very dangerous' is enough, or 'you could have been hurt really badly'. I'd never say they could have been killed.

My DS (3 and a half) asked exactly what would happen if he was hit by a car about six months ago when he was 3. ie 'And then I'd be squashed. Why don't I want to be squashed, Mummy?' and I told him that if the car was going fast he might be squashed and dead. To which he said "Like the fox?' (He'd seen some roadkill) "Yes like the fox"
"And then you'd be sad, wouldn't you Mummy?"
"Very sad" (becstar wells up) "Let's not talk about it DS"
"Don't worry Mummy, I'll hold your hand by the road." He now seems to have a little mental checklist of 'things that could make me dead' which includes cars and plastic bags on the head, but he also tells me that he has to be careful of dinosaurs in case they make him dead. I have explained that this is highly unlikely. His main concern about this appears to be that I'd be sad if he was dead. He's not terribly worried about being dead - he says 'well, I'll just come back again as something else.' I've never said anything to him about reincarnation, he just seems to have come up with this one. I've told him about Heaven but he's a bit skeptical about it and thinks reincarnation is more likely.

He doesn't seem the least bit worried about all this but you'll know your DD's personality and how she would react better than me. I think my DS might be a bit unusual... But then everyone thinks that about their own!

I try to explain what 'being killed' means .. and that means never ever seeing mummy and daddy (and siblings, etc) again. But I find that emphasis on never seeing 'mummy and daddy' again is a simple yet powerful thought that they can comprehend at that age.