Sleeping hell with 2yr old DD - Help!!!

[mum2RandR]

She has taken to waking during the night, usually around 1.30 and is awake for around 2 hours, sometimes less sometimes more.
Its affecting her behaviour and she has become very stroppy and bad tempered during the day.
Last night she slept better, woke at 4 and I put her in bed with me and DH (this is a nightly occurence, has been for the last year!), she went back to sleep until almost 5 and has been up since!
My concern is that she doesnt sleep during the daytime anymore and if she does, usually when she's had an early morning, its an absolute nightmare to put her to sleep in the evening.
Im worried that there's something wrong with her or that she's having nightmares, because when she wakes up she's been screaming and thrashing about and talking about things that dont make any sense.
She has been weaned off her dummy over the last couple of weeks and doesnt have it at all anymore, but to be honest she's been sleeping bad before that.
Any advice/criticism would be very welcome, Im desperate to try and get her back into some sort of routine that will mean she is happier in the daytime, she's been having lots of tantrums lately and its upsetting to see her like that. Thanks for reading x

If they are very overtired I find my two actually sleep worse at night not better and it definitely affects behaviour too.

How old is she now, just turned 2 or nearly 3?

I think you may need to give her a short nap in the day after lunch to help her recover some lost sleep. Just make it 90 mins or less and that it ends before 3pm I would say. She needs to get out of the cycle of exhaustion. Then put her to bed at 7pm so it gets her to bed early, even if she doesn't go to sleep immediately it certainly means she'll probably go to sleep sooner if she's been in her room for a while first. Does that make sense?

You could put up some sleep rules on the wall if she's a good talker and understands and then a treat on waking. Make sure you announce the new rules and what you'll be doing. IF she does wake in the night and gets out of bed, I find appearing uninterested, not talking, no eye contact, mechanical etc and just putting back into bed often works very well. So there's no more night entertainment from this etc.

I'm having an interesting problem with my daughter but its a different issue, but the above strategy does work.

It's difficult for little ones to learn to self soothe and to settle again if they come into a lighter part of their sleep cycle. Especially if they had a dummy. They can learn to force themselves completely awake and rush in to us. Which is not good for them or us as it's not good sleep for anybody. You could keep a chart, log or diary and record time asleep, time awake, number of times out of bed, length of protest crying, calling. This will help you to be a better observer and to also see if your strategy is working that you choose. I do find that when doing some form of sleep training they can get worse before better.

Anyway whatever you choose to do, be consistent.

goodluck x