very worried about DD's development, do i have to see HV ?

[olivo]

Am really worried about dd's development. she is 5mo and is yet to roll, find her feet, hold things properly or pass them from hand to hand, push up in her tummy. She grabs toys form the gym and stuffs them in her mouth but wont reach out for them on the floor or if you hold them out for her. all she seems to want to do is blow raspberries or lie and gaze around with her thumb in her mouth.
do i have to see the HV about this or can i go to my GP instead? not very helpful/positive experiences of HV. or do i have to wait till she's older?

You can always go to your GP with anything like this - no need to see the HV if you don't want to. The HV are meant to be an extra service, not to replace your GPs responsibility for you and your dd.

If you're worried, get a GP appointment.

She sounds fine to me - bang on what a 5 month old should be doing.

But take her to the HV or Doctor, if only for reassurance. Not all babies do these things at the same time. Its the worry that will get you down, why don't you call up the HV right now and make an appointment? Don't worry about 'bothing' them. It important you get as much reassurance as possibly. I pretty sure she will tell you your baby is fine.

thanks, i think i'll make an appt with my GP then. I know i shouldnt but i cant help comparing her to babies at the bf group i go to, who have been rolling around for weeks and waving toys around. DD just lies or sits there. everyone comments on how placid she is but i want her to roll around and be active!
You're right, the worry is starting to get me down. it doesnt help that DH keeps comparing her to DD1 ( they were born in the same month so he assumes she should be doing the same things as dd1 was at certain times of year)

Remember they all do things at different times. My son was the last to walk amongst my post natal group but the first to swim, ride a bike and do the monkey bars at 4. He did not say a word until 15 months but was doing clear 3 word sentences well before 2.
(btw he never really rolled until he could crawl)
Some babies do things gradually, some start late but catch up, don't worry

thank you for your reassurances. i have been feeling guilty as dd2 has not had so much of my time and attention, due to an active 3yo. i can't help thinking i should have spent more time helping her to develop. then again, i feel guilty about not spending loads of time with dd1 at the moment too. you just can't win

bet you also feel guilty about feeling guilty (I know i did/do!). Also seeing how happy dd was at being left to play by herself felt guitly about over-stimulating ds!. Accept the fact that mothers always feel guitly and try to believe that both children are happy, well loved and secure. This is all that matters in the long run

Hi my ds 1 was fine, not early, but on time with developmental milestones. Ds 2 was always months behind. He was slow to hold his head, sit with cushions (kept sliding down), rolling -12 months, crawling, did a little around 15/6 months, walking -20 months etc etc. He HATED being on his tummy so I didn't put him on it. I was concerned but realised he was on his own path and I had to understand that. He's a fab little chap who ran into nursery this morning without a second glnce to me. He's fab with his fine motor skills, can pull a plug socket out, loves drawing but is different from ds 1. My HV was very chilled and said she wasn't concerned and wouldn't be until 2.

Ds 3, 6 months, is a very happy smiley giggly baby. Rolls to the side but not completely over, can't sit unaided though can supported. Passes from hand to hand but above all loves to watch his bigger brothers cavorting around the place.

My 3 have all been very different in their developmental milestones but looking at ds 2 in his nursery with the other children you really wouldn't have known who did what when. Try not to worry!

I met a mum of identical twins the other day. She said that her boys achieved their motor milestones within days of each other. To me, this suggests that motor development is probably genetically programmed and they will do stuff when they are ready. There is probably not much we can do to effect it.

thank you. i think i'll leave her till about 6 months and see what is happening then. and, yes, you're right, witch,i do feel guilty about feeling guilty!