"Socialization"

[WonderBundlesMommy]

I expect this may sound like a strange question to many of you but really need the MN perspective so posting it anyway.

We live in a rural/remote area, nearest city is several hours away. I travel with DS (19M) once every couple of weeks for groceries, errands, appointments, etc. Family lives 25, 28, and 32 hour drives away, so not "pop in" type of close though we make the trip occasionally.

My mother (whose parenting philosophies have seemingly developed since my childhood - I was never exposed to a single other child before the 2+ hour bus ride to grade 1!) is "suggesting" that I should find a way for DS to see other children his age for "socialization."

Everything I have read says that this is a choice and I don't need to be particularly concerned about this until he is 3 (can then start forming actual friendships, etc.). So other than our occasional visits to the library, etc. (where he is very sociable and friendly with all people), I have not worried about arranging such things until he is a little older. Is this wrong? He is a very happy little guy, gets lots of stimulation, etc., is very social with all the adults he sees and loves the occasional child he encounters.

My questions are actually threefold:

1. Do toddlers need/benefit from "socialization" with other toddlers before age 3 (if so, how?)
2. Do they derive the same benefits from "socialization" with adults or older children?
3. If a child is happy and interacts well, is there a need for specific efforts at "socialization" above and beyond normal day to day life activities?

Thanks so much in advance for all of your thoughts!

I have no idea!

I always took ds out and about to groups and stuff when he was wee, but that was more for my benefit tbh.

All I can say is that although they do not play together till around 3, ds and most of the wee ones he was with seemed to be fascinated with nd excited by the prescence of other small people. WHether or not this is necesssary for social development I do not know. I could guess it is good for them in that we are social animals, but that really is a guess.

Btw, I live in a village, but it is not remote, so not difficult for me to get out and about.

IME (and only that) children do benefit from spending time with other children, i have a nearly two year old atm and he is learning that he cant snatch etc from playing with others (he also has an older sister but still benefits from playgroup etc)

My dd had some 'friends' from 2/2.5 who she looked forward to seeing and played with, it developed her compassion and empathy and was def good for her. She also learnt new games etc and diff ways of playing/turn taking and not to be too bosy

That said if it is really difficult for you i wouldnt stress overly. If you are aware of it I'm sur you can build in some time with other children, it doesnt need to be all the time. Perhaps plan holidays when he could play with other children (cousins?) rather than having to fit it into your routine.

I think that from about 6 months on (or even earlier) they enjoy seeing other children around. They connect with them ima way they don'y with grown ups.
Whilst I don't believe that that socialisation on a large scale (or group setting) is necessary until about three but I would be worried if my LO hadn't had the experience of playing with (or even alongside) other children by the time he reached that age

You could always get preg i suppose

I was going to sad that I think even once or twice a week is beneficial, doesn't even have to be daily

Interesting...and true that he does seem to really enjoy being around children when he occasionally is.

Littleducks - - don't think that one will work - he is our miracle bundle (DH and I both had surgery with a very small percentage chance of success to get him!).

(hope i didnt offend, was only joking!)

Littleducks - No not at all, it was a wonderful suggestion!

I'm so glad I've read this post I'm in exactly the same boat as you, my lO is just coming up to 10 months and he is a very happy little boy, always smiling , hese just started cruising this week, to my delight :) ...but like yourself I live in a remote part of the world in Spain, and I don't drive, so we don't go anywhere as often as I would like, ...and my partner works full time so by the time he gets home LO is asleep. My best friend came over two weeks ago with her 14 month old boy, and it really didn't phase my boy at all, in fact he was crawling around after him and seemed quite intrigued , ...so after she left I felt so guilty that I was depriving him from a lack of socializing I'm so glad I found this :) x