what's a normal level of tiredness for a 4 year old?

[TheMysticMasseuse]

Dd1 is going to be 4 next month. She is healthy (well, has eczema not sure that's relevant), eats well, sleeps 11-12 hours per night. She gave up her nap about 2-3 motnhs ago, her choice and I respected that because I felt she was ready for it.

She goes to nursery 8.45 to 1 and there's the option of her staying until 3, but tbh when i pick her up at 1 she's almost comatose, and we really struggle in the afternoons because she's so tired and irritable. I struggle to stretch her to a 7 pm bedtime (and she basically faints at this time). a 7pm bedtime is incredibly early for us as a family and for her, she has never gone to bed so early in her life!

I worry that this is a bit excessive- can you please tell me how your 4 year olds fare? thanks!

how long has she been going to nursery ?

Mine at that age were tired by 2.5 of playgroup - they would have not lasted the time you are thinking of. But lots of kids happily last all day at nursery - so I guess there is no "normal" - or at least the normal range is very wide.

Your DD doesn't sound abnormal to me.

she's been going for a year and a half!

My DS went to school when he was 4 and a week. For the whole of the first term, he would come home, and just curl up on the sofa with his blankie and all he could do was eat his tea and go to bed. He was always asleep by 7 at the latest.

Nusery and school wear them out but your DD sounds perfectly normal to me!

thanks Tommy, i guess it is reassuring but otoh it does sound so incredibly hard for them no? I can't believe she'll have to start school in september, i feel for summer babies, i really do...

7 pm is a fairly normal bedtime for children in the UK, I suppose.
Can her tiredness be linked to adjusting to the changes she is going through? Or the cold? (I become lethargic in cold weather)
At 4 my dd (who's never been as energetic as ds and has always loved her sleep) used from 8.30 pm to 8 am (later in the weekend), but coped very well with normal Italian nursery time 9-3.45.

Used to sleep.
I'd have a chat with gp.

Ds is 5 in April. He's in reception, and gets in about 8.30 every morning. He's generally fairly tired by the time we get home, and we have had to bring his supper forward to 5.30 (or even earlier somedays) and get him to bed by 6.30. He still has the odd catch-up nap at the weekend as he always wakes up at the same time even when its the weekend. So your dd is actually probably sleeping less than my, older ds!

I don't think 12 hours sleep is at all excessive for a 4 year old - that's pretty much waht my dd needs. She usually goes to bed at around 7pm, and has friends going to bed even earlier - 6pm, or 6.30pm.

Yes, my dd was a 12 hr sleep 4 yr old. She'd still sleep that long if she could, she is 5 and a half (she gets waken up by ds who has to start his day at 7.30).

This chart suggests a 4 year old, on average, needs 11.5 hous sleep per night. Here. This means some will need somewhat more; others somewhat less.

ds 1 was 4.1 when he suddenly started gettin excessively tired -like your ds, almost passing out with tiredness. He didn;t do wed afternoons (our school offers this option) and the school asked if he could drop fir afternoons also as they felt he was too tired. We reduced his bedtime from 7pm to 6pm and he then slept 6-6. He was still tired, so I took him to the drs. after a lot of palaver and many months later he was diagnosed with a form of glandular fever. It took him just under a year to get back to form (he's 5.10 now) in terms of having energy, looking healthy -he was very pale and we had people commenting on how ill he looked even thought they'd never met him before - and grew more in the 1st 3 months of last year htna he did for the entire of the previous year.

I'm not syaing your dd has this but don;t be put off if you really think there's something wrong...

Your DD sounds perfectly normal. Some children just need a lot more sleep than others. She has a stimulating morning and using up energy running around and playing. We all feel a bit more sleepy in the winter months as well- probably because of the dark evenings. My 4 year old DT boys are in bed by 6.30pm sometimes, and always by 7pm. They get up early at 7.30 every day and they are ready for bed by then. My 7 year old DD will also happily go to bed at 7pm and read in bed. In our house evenings are for adults!

DS's have both always needed alot of sleep whereas their friends seem to thrive on much less.
DS2 is a year younger than your little one but has only just stopped having 2 hours in the afternoon and 12 hours at night.

he now NEEDS to go to bed 6.30-7pm and is asleep within seconds of being in his bed. he sleeps until 7.30 ish

DS1 who is 5 sleeps for 12 hours and will generally need a quiet time in the day so he doesn't get overtired.

We have friends whose child is the same age as DS1 and he goes to bed at 8pm and always wakes at 5.30am, he is full of beans and has never slept for 12 hours at night.

I guess it just depends on the child.

DS has never been a big sleeper but he seems ok on it...

On a good night he sleeps 8pm - 7am on a less good night 9pm - 6.30am

He gave up a nap at about age 2

he doesn't generally seem that tired after nursery, does swimming on Tues pm's and tumble tots on a weds pm and he is rather tired by about 6.30pm then (though still won;t sleep until 8pm normally)

I wouldn;t worry too much.

Both my DD's (8 and 6) got to bed at 7 or 7.30 latest and get up earliest at 7 - they were sleepy babies and are sleepy girls now. So this could be entirely normal.

If there are any other factors like weight loss, change in eating habits and behaviour then maybe it is worth investigating further.

My ds2 is 5 and has been at nursery/school all day since 10 months but still finds the whole day completely exhausting, especially now as it's the first year he's not been able to nap after lunch. Ds1 on the other hand has done a full day everyday with no nap since age 3, and was able to stroll home - 40 min walk - at the end of the day even at 3 without a murmur of complaint. Ds3 (nearly 4) is in between. I wouldn't worry unless your dd seems ill too.