Please look at this list and tell me what you think.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

Am going to see the CAMHS woman tomorrow without DD2 being there.
DD is very good at appearing completely normal.

School! Refuses to go. Rarely does homework. Worries all the time about next day at school.
Tantrums ? if anyone says or does anything she disagrees with. If she needs to do something she doesn?t want to. Breaks things in temper. Generally bad tempered.
Volatile ? can be happy one minute ? in a screaming tantrum the next.
Argumentative. Bickers, argues back a lot. No matter what is being said. Is sure she is right and will not let the subject drop.
Rudeness ? verbally abusive. Swearing,
No empathy ? doesn?t care if her actions affect other people.
Doesn?t get irony or sarcasm ? takes things literally.
Food ? very limited diet. All brown. Chicken, Roast potato/chips, biscuits, bread, crackers, crisps,
Clothes ? wears the same things all the time.
Time ? has to have plenty of time to get ready for anything ? won?t be rushed. Panics and gets angry if told to hurry.
Getting ill ?checks food is cooked. Checks dates on foods. Can?t cope with other people being ill. Wants to know what bit of the body is which and why it might be hurting. Even a small scratch or bump is something to obsess about.
Crowds. Rooms of people. Small places with people in. Busy places.
Background noise.
Panics. Anxiety. Needs constant reassurance.
Obsessive. ? see above!
Excellent memory for random details.

my commas will probably come out as ? because i have pasted.

I'll take the list with me tomorrow.

Bump

I think it's very thorough. Put it in your bag NOW or you will forget it!

Hopefully someone more qualified than me will come along in a bit. DS2 has some of those "issues" but we have been passed from pillar to post. SOunds like you have got a lot further

Good luck

Hmm...that is a very worthwhile list to take to CAHMS, I would say. Some things on it might be just normal teen hormones- like the argumentativeness and tendency to think she is right- but other things - like the brown food and general obsessiveness- definitely sound like they need investigating. Not to mention that they are traits that would make her stand out and feel awkward at school. Very worth investigating; from that list, I would say every day must be a struggle for all of you.

Meeting done. Took a deep breath and gave her the list. Had a long talk and yes. she agrees with me. ? possibly aspergers or something similar and is going to refer on to the developmental something or other team for more in depth testing.

i'm all a bit

I do have a bit of time to talk it over with DH whether to refer her on (letter needs sending to us for signing) . I swing from thinking yes - it might give DD some understanding of why life is so difficult for her but No - would it make any long term positive difference.

I think understanding your daughter better and helping HER to understand herself better can only be a positive difference in the long term surely???

I recognise a lot of the things from your list - although I haven't been formally diagnosed I've taken a lot of tests and have an autism spectrum disorder, probably Aspergers. The good news is it can be coped with! On the upside your daughter is verbal - articulate even? Does she have good concentration? Good at categorising things, and detail in general?

There are lots of ways of helping her cope. I'm not surprised she's stressed by social situations - you could perhaps help by teaching her 'rules' of social behaviour that will help her get on better with others. Does she have one particular friend? Relationships can be very tricky and the desperate need for control of situations/things can be gently addressed. Good luck!

Thanks Octavia. The future worries me hugely so it is nice to hear it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. (i know it doesn't but that's how it is feeling).

Many Aspergers' sufferers are very high-functioning and can achieve great things if well-directed. Social skills can be late/hard to acquire, but on the upside many people with Aspergers don't care much about friends! There's lots of evidence that great thinkers of the past may have been somewhere on the autism spectrum. Professor Baron-Cohen at Cambridge also has a lot of research that it can be helpful to read through. I went to Oxford, if that's any encouragement!

The taking things literally thing is something my brother had a lot of problems with. He's 17 now, and just started college (a big deal as he was home educated from about 5/6) but when he was younger my mum had to go through and teach him what idioms etc. were by going through them one by one. I think he's got the idea now, and can better pick up on saecasm and other ways of talking that could confuse him, but he was diagnosed as sem.prag. from a young age, so we knew what we were dealing with there. Looking at him now, a rediagnosis of Aspergers wouldn't surprise me, but it's unlikely. He's come a long way, but still won't eat unprocessed meat unless it's basically been blitzed in a blender, and gags when you try to get him to eat any other fruit than bananas and granny smiths. He doesn't have everything on your list, but there were a few things which he is similar to, and although it's been a long road (he's utterly obsessed with WWII games and will talk about the 'Germans' and the 'Russians' as though he's in combat with them right now...) he's starting to turn out really well, and actually catches the bus to college alone.

Maybe your DD does need a period away from school. If she's that adament about not going, and you don't think it's just laziness, there are other methods, and Home Educators usually know methods for interacting with ASD children a lot bettr than other people. It's hard work, as my mum would tell you, but the results of her hard work are evident.