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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

feeding battles with 8 month old, any advice please??

22 replies

mummee09v · 20/01/2010 10:12

I am having an absolute nightmare with my 8 month old DD at the moment feeding wise

basically, she does not seem to like food.

Since i started weaning her at about 5 - 6 months it has been a constant battle to actually get her to eat.

I have to kind of "trick" her into eating by giving her a bottle (milk or water) then taking the bottle out and sneaking some food in so it goes down with the next suck (if that makes sense). At first that was fine and I wasn't worried because when they first start eating they don't chew anyway. but as soon as she gets wind that I am actually giving her food she starts clamping her mouth together and screaming and having a major tantrum, thrashing about, spitting it out etc, its a battle every mealtime

However now she is getting bigger I want to introduce lumpier consistencies and start giving her more food and less bottles but it is just impossible.

her brother (now nearly 4) was a brilliant eater and I never had any problems with him. I just don't know what to do.

the worst of it is I am the only one that has the "knack" of feeding her - DP has tried just can't manage it (but he don't try bloody hard enough if you ask me) - if he ever takes a turn he ends up giving up and just giving her a bottle. which isnt good enough. so its left to me every single time and its got to the stage where I resent the hell out of him and dread her mealtimes.

please help, I am at my wits end.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tee2072 · 20/01/2010 10:17

Yeah, stop tricking her. At 8 months she should still be getting most of her nutrition through milk (whether BF or FF) and solids are not 100% necessary.

Let her drink milk if that's what she wants and try solids again in a month or so.

Original poster

mummee09v · 20/01/2010 10:37

I have considered that, but milk just isn't enough for her, I can tell she needs more.

I just don't understand why she hates food so much

OP posts:

littlebylittle · 20/01/2010 11:07

ds now 14 months (and dd was enthusiastic about food from start) refused all spoons until over a year. I never thought it would be the route for us, but he happily fed himself finger foods from about nine or ten months. Now eats family foods and spoon feeds himself. so it should come and although it's hard I would say patience is the way forward.

Squitten · 20/01/2010 11:42

Have you tried a more BLW approach? Just giving her some soft sticks of veg to play with? Maybe she would be more interested in that

My son started off really well on purees but has gone through stages where he simply refuses the spoon, even if it's something he likes

SilveryMoon · 20/01/2010 11:46

My ds2 hated and I mean hated being spoon fed and wouldn't eat purees. He'd throw massive tantrums at meal times. Ds1 was a dream, never had any problems, so it was a bit of a shock for me. In the end, I just stopped trying to feed him and put some finger food infront of him. He eats everything now, he just wants to do it himself.
I only tried for about 6 weeks with the puree, so he was about 7 months when I started giving him pasta, rice, breadsticks, cheese, tomato, cucumber, roasted potatoes and veg, then moved to chicken, steak, chops the lot.

DawnAS · 20/01/2010 13:18

Sorry to hijack OP, but *SilveryMoon", can I assume from what you say that your LO had teeth? My DD is nearly 8 months and is fine with the pureed stuff and we're just starting her on more lumps, but also giving some breadsticks which she can suck (with Philly on - loves it!). But she doesn't have ANY teeth and no signs yet either, what would you recommend that I give that she can chomp on with gums, without choking?

Sorry again OP!!

SilveryMoon · 20/01/2010 13:25

Hi DawnAs Ds2 got his first tooth at 8/9 months.
Before that he managed lots of things. Their gums are quite hard and it's all about new textures and flavours, so I'd give him steak etc to suck on and was fine.
Try not to panic too much re choking. The danger really comes from you putting things in their mouth, so as long as lo has full control, you shouldn't have any problems.
I puree/spoon fed ds1 up to 10 months and had more problems with gagging than i have with ds2.
There are some great websites out there that give really good tips and meal ideas.
I'll pop off and try to find a link.

The only thing I didn't give because of choking hazard was apple (unless I'd boiled it)

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 20/01/2010 13:30

You have to stop tricking her and battling over this.

You want her to learn to eat and to feed herself and to enjoy food, not to 'be fed' whether she likes it or not and to associate food with emotional battles.

Just stop feeding her. Sit her in her highchair at mealtimes and give her some suitable bits of what you are having - steamed vegetables, pasta, toast/bread, chunks of cheese, bits of fish/meat, cereal with a bit of milk. Let her feed herself the amount she feels she needs - she is the best judge of that.

ruddynorah · 20/01/2010 13:35

they don't need teeth to eat real solid food. so no need for puree at all unless you're weaning before they can self feed.

mummee- your baby may well like food, but just doesn't like the way you're presenting it. like others have suggested, try just putting food in front of her, on her high chair tray, and let her have a go herself.

MegBusset · 20/01/2010 13:36

DS2 (8mo) isn't a spoon fan either unless it's got yoghurt on it! I'm following a half-hearted kind of BLW sometimes he has proper food like bits of cheese sandwich, soft fruit/veg etc, I do give him mushed food too but always on a toast soldier or breadstick or rice cake so he can feed himself.

He only has two teeth but seems quite capable of gumming most food to bits although I don't give him very hard food like raw carrot or apple.

SilveryMoon · 20/01/2010 13:41

I used this site quite a bit when I moved ds1 onto 'proper' food and referred to it a bit with ds2.

ruddynorah · 20/01/2010 13:42

looky here

ruddynorah · 20/01/2010 13:44

this is a nice one!

ruddynorah · 20/01/2010 13:48

ok last one! must stop now

DawnAS · 20/01/2010 13:49

Again, sorry for hijacking OP but just wanted to say THANK YOU to those that responded on my questions.

I'll try Ellie with some roast dinner on Sunday!

SilveryMoon · 20/01/2010 13:56

Goodluck Dawn am sure lo will love it.

SilveryMoon · 20/01/2010 13:57

Also, my biggest regret with ds1 so far is not allowing him to feed himself earlier.
He is a terrible eater now and won't try anything new. He is 2.5yrs.
Ds2 (11 months) will eat anything!

neenz · 20/01/2010 14:05

Mummee, I did purees etc with my DTs but also gave them bits of toast and rice cake to pick up. They seemed to be the things they picked up quickest.

You definitely shouldn't trick her or battle with her. It is just causing you stress and hardly getting any food into her. Can you offer her more milk?

Does she have a bottle in the night? I can understand why you want to get food into her if she is waking in the night (I know it is often said on MN that food and sleep are not linked but it certainly was for my LOs) but if she is sleeping through then I wouldn't sweat it. Just try her with finger food and maybe try a spoon again in a few weeks.

rockmum80 · 20/01/2010 15:37

hello girls

wow thanks for all the fab advice

I have thought about giving her finger foods but have been concerned she might choke because I wasnt sure she was old enough yet.

neenz - no she doesnt wake in the night, she is a good sleeper, she sleeps through the night and has done since 6 weeks, usually approx 8pm to 7am, so I really can't complain about that.

and aside from the eating issues she is a lovely happy little baby.

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 20/01/2010 16:43

NHS official advice is that finger foods can be introduced from 6m, so she is plenty old enough. Just make sure they are soft enough, in pieces she can grasp easily, and she is sitting up straight to eat them

neenz · 21/01/2010 13:06

Well if she is sleeping through then just give her milk if that's all she wants

Octaviapink · 22/01/2010 14:21

My LO has had fingers foods from 6 months and is fine. Rusks/things that dissolve in the mouth are perfect, but anything that squishes up nicely is good - even Weetabix that's had a tiny amount of breastmilk over it. My DD hated being spoonfed too, and only wanted to feed herself - definitely stop battling yours!

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