DD (3 years 7 months) aggressive behaviour towards other children - need advice please

[josben]

I am at my wits end with her - yesterday i went to pick her up from nursery and she had hit another child on the head with a toy.

I sometimes think she finds it hard to articulate what she wants to say and she has seen a SALT who said she is probably 6-8 months behind in her development. She has 2 older brothers (7 and 8) who she plays quite rough with, but they don;t hit her or anything.

I just don't know how to deal with her - she sometimes pushes other children out of the way if she wants something, she is very up front and i have rteally tried to work on getting her to share etc ...

I have tried the naughty step, putting her in isolation for 3 minutes, i have said she can have a reward when i pick her up if she plays nicely - sometimes the aggressive behaviour stops for a while - but after yesterdays incident it all feels a bit hopeless.

Has anyone got any advice please?

i feel for you i was a nursery nurse with children and had all the children like this in my group as no one would have they as they got hurt.

try to have one on one with her and help her with speak and communication through role play so she learn how to act and respect you and others.

naughty step only encourages the behaviour as they get your attention. i used to praise every little good thing and annore the bad for now but do tell off and make her say sorry she may not understand the consequenes yet if delayed.

have a contant star chart for challenges in day and if manages 2 stars the first week every day she get to choose what to do with just you. and then up it gradually to make it harder.to her having friend over etc

with children like this they find it hard to adjust top changes in rountine and will need the day explained to her broken down through out day and at nursery will need key worker to explain the activities slowly and what to do as they panic and stressed resulting in hitting out . it can be sorted quickly but needs time and patients which i know is hard when she plays up. i am now a nanny and had 2 children like this couple of years ago and still in contact with the old children i helped at nursery. if you want any help i am will to help and work with you through this so that your both be happier and enjoy eachothers company again and your more relaxed. ( i am a nneb nanny and child psychologist )

Thanks for you post tigger girl - I have been talking to nursery also and I do think that she finds it hards to verbalise what she wants and sometimes she can end up being aggressive. I am going to try the star chart like you suggested and alos work on praising the good - I think I can forget to do this enough sometimes. What other things would you suggest to help the situation?

I feel your pain, my little one is 2.6 and we are going through it. Do you think he is too little for star charts?