hey,
i know it's normal for 3 yr olds to be clingy with their mums but i deal with it so badly i make it worse. i know i'm meant to be reassuring and kind but i just get angrier and angrier with him. it's so unfair of me, and i feel ashamed of myself, and i know it's perpetuating the behaviour but i don't know quite how to break it.
i live with my son's dad, who i've just split up with. i work part time, and his dad doesn't work at all so usually takes him to nursery. if i take him to nursery he will be really upset when i leave, but isn't at all upset when his dad leaves.
my work hours are flexible so although i'm often at work when he's at nursery i'm not always. this morning he had a massive upset tantrum cos he wanted to stay in the house with me rather than go to nursery. his father says when i'm at work he's totally happy to leave and if anything seems excited and looking forward to it. i think i get more stressed cos i know his dad is downstairs listening to me fighting with him upstairs and judging me a bad mother while i struggle with it.
my son also wants to grab and climb on me all the time, so if me and his dad are in the house he constantly tries to get my attention and his dad can just get on with stuff.
it's difficult because we're both totally engaged in various projects which are both important to us, and i feel so resentful cos his father is allowed to get on with it all and i'm hounded and get more stressed cos i'm not fulfilling all my obligations for my projects.
i'm obviously more stressed right now cos i just have broken up with my son's father. my ex-dp wants us to stay living together so we can bring son up in same house but i can't see that working. however, i feel terribly guilty enough that i don't want to be with ex so i'm going to have to be the one to move out. ex also wants primary custody and i guess i feel that as he's the better parent (cos son doesn't have so many tantrums or is so clingy) then i should let him. this is all heartbreaking.
any advice? please be gentle...