Naughty step help please?

[newme2010oroldme]

DD is 2 1/2 years old. Has got a very bad temper and can be very naughty. So I decided to start doing the naughty step.

It worked the first 2 times and she stayed there for the two minutes. But third time I did it she bit me twice and I could not keep her there without sitting on the step myself. And I'm sure that is not the way to do it.

Any tips welcome, but she is very strong and clings to me like a monkey when i try to put her on the step. And pulls my hair.

Ooh tough one, I sympathize with you greatly. Persistence, persistence and be consistent... and remain calm (easier said than done, I know) Keep on and on newme2010oroldme. Not much help but good luck.

Thanks so have you done this and have you found it works?

I'm really not sure if I can hold her on the step myself, I dont think thats in the rules??

Hi, the bit about the naughty step which is effective is the bit where they are ignored and not getting your attention. You can do this either on the step or anywhere else in the house. Just turn your body away from her and don't give her eye contact or any form of communication. She will hate this. Only do this for 2 mins max and make sure she knows what she's done wrong. Usual rule is 1 min per year of their age. I'd suggest you only do this for one specific part of her behaviour you want to change. Choose the most unacceptable bit e.g. if she is hitting or kicking, these are essential to change. If she's spitting then it's only top of your list if she's not doing anything which hurts someone else. The other, probably better, way to change behaviour is to praise her when she's being good. If she's not often good, try looking at how much attention she's getting, what she enjoys doing and give her more. I teach this to nursery nurses and reception teachers plus it worked with my own fiery tempered twins. Good luck.

I used to sit DS on my knee and wrap my arms around him holding him really close to me quite tightly. Turning my head away so that he couldn't hit me in the face with his head.

TBH i only did this a few times before he would stay on a naughty step/spot.

If it really isn't working then it may not work with her and you could try something else.

we had a treat box. box full of loads of tat that DS liked. If he was really good when we were out/ at the end of the day etc he got to choose something from the box. worked far better for us that naughty step etc.

DD is often well behaved as well, and I do praise her when she is good. I feel the problem is that I do not discipline atall and I am way too soft with her.

newme I had same problem with my ds1. He is the same age as your dd.
I spent a day holding him down in the naughty spot whenever he was naughty. He stays there now, but whenever he moves I put him back and tell him the more he messes around the longer he'll be there for.
I do though put him in the naughty corner for whatever he does that I think is naughty. Maybe that's too much.
At some point this week, I'm going to get some sortof reward chart too for when he's good. I'm starting to think that maybe he needs something more in the form of praise than my words. He needs something visual

i started the naughty step at a 2 years and to be quite honest..sometimes it worked and sometimes it didnt and i went back to the step to find that ds had absconded. well actually i had a naughty corner which i found easier as if they roll about on the floor shouting you dont have to prop them back on the step.
anyways, i honestly thought i was never going to work then one day before xmas he just seemed to get it. although he would never EVER say sorry, i kept at it and eventually when i told him to say sorry in my best julie andrews sing song voice" soorrreee mumeeeee" he finally relented and now says it all the time.
he'll actually put himself there now..i thought that would never happen!
but keep with it.. they do get there eventually and it is worth it in the end
hth

Nothing wrong with sitting with her if she won't stay there unless you do so. The main thing is that she is being told she has to sit there and remain there until you say it's ok for her to leave.
I never needed one with first 2 dcs but with ds3, who is more of an angry young man at times, we have a naughty corner and I sometimes have to stay nearby to make sure he stays there.
If your dd bites you then she needs to be told that that will only result in having to stay on the step longer so if she wants to leave the step, she needs to sit quietly and behave.
Good luck
fwiw my ds now voluntarily goes to the naughty corner sometimes when he knows he's done something worthy of the punishment!

Well i'm glad to hear it works, but cannot imagine my dd putting herself in the naughty corner. Today when she was being naughty, and I was giving a warning about the naughty step, she said 'its gone now, step hiding'...

I think my ds has moments of madness tbh - either that or we picked the wrong place for a naughty corner and he actually enjoys sitting there
The naughty step/corner/chair is there as a mean to an end, to signal that the behaviour has reached a point where the child has to be removed from what they're doing and sit somewhere to contemplate what they've done and why they're there. They don't always understand and there will be resistance at times, but it will gradually make them see the link between behaviour and being put there and it also shows them that their behaviour doesn't go unnoticed.
I only use the naughty corner if ds has really behaved badly (he is going through a biting and hitting phase at the moment) and I certainly don't like that sort of discipline over-used as it can't help the child and nor is it realistic to expect a child never to misbehave a bit but they can be useful tools for instilling some sort of understanding as to cause and effect.
That's my theory and I'm sticking to it even if ds3 sometimes comes out of the corner and immediately repeats the behaviour

We are finding rewards work better than punishment for our 3yr old DS although the spot has worked in the past (and he sat there without too much aggro).

We use a reward chart on it there are different behaviours listed. Most important ones first:

Be gentle and kind to my friends

Listen to grownups and do as I am told

I agree with others the hitting biting etc has to be combatted first then more trivial issues next.

It is working for us at the moment. At the end of the week we count his stars and he gets a hotwheels car or something else small as a reward.

It's the separation and isolation that drives the message home.

We discovered that DD would stay on (or near ) the naughty step shouting the odds indefinitely rather than apologise - until there was a closed door between her and the rest of the family - then she would calm down well within the 2 minutes. Nowadays I am more likely to send both DC to sit on different sets of stairs before I kill them as it appears to sometimes be the only way to stop the endless bickering.