If your 1st was a 'high needs' baby and toddler, what temperment did your 2nd have?

[mrswill]

Hello all,

Not exactly a problem as such, but would be very interested to see what responses are for this, as we'll be trying again this summer.

I wouldnt change DD for anything, but she has been a very 'trying' baby and toddler. Shes always been a good sleeper and feeder, but is very high needs, signals her need for something by whining at full volume, and is generally miserable 90% of the time unless out and about in a very exciting location. You get the picture. Obviously she is my little angel too, and has lots of good points!

Unfortunately, this has not put me off having another .

So if you had a baby like this, what was your second like?

my first was super-easy

my second was very high-needs, velcro baby

my third is laid-back and chilled

My second was an absolute dream!

I had the reverse!! 1st was an angel, 2nd was a nightmare lol!!!!

Well my 2nd (now 16 weeks) is turning out to be more chilled than his sister, but I wouldn't say he isn't demanding. He seems easier to read though - I don't know if this is his nature, or becuase he is a boy or becuase I'm better at it second time round?

dd1 wasn't too bad- but dd2 was the most contented baby in the whole wide world- changing now though as she finds her own voice (10 months)and is fighting back against dd1 (2.5). dd1 seems to be in a bit of shock!!

My first woke every three hours at night and only slept through when she turned one,was also quite high maintenance in the day,
got pregnant with number 2 when dd1 was 10mths,
she was a dream,slept through from day one and very laid back,
the roles are reversed a bit now,dd1 is quite well behaved and dd2 is into everything!,
am currently pregnant with number 3 and am hoping this one is a good sleeper but don't think i will ever be that lucky again
They do entertain each other now they are 3 and 4 so it's definitely easier having two,good luck!

DD2 (7 months) is an absolute angel. She's smily and happy all the time and very content - so laid back! Marvellous sleeper and eater, lovely to be around. I am so very tempted to have another but am a bit worried I wouldn't be so lucky again

(DD1 was, and still can be, very trying, although she makes up for it by being extremely loving at the same time and totally wonderful with her baby sister )

My first wasn't exactly high needs but has always been full on - if there is a career for testing things to destruction he is set for life.

My 2nd is so laid back she is virtually horizontal.

No3 has defintely been high needs. Thank god for slings!

So just because you have 1 high needs baby it doesn't mean that the next would be.

DS1 was high needs, he was a sucky baby and demanding all day, without gaining weight ...I can remember practically throwing him at DH when he got in from work.

He was a good night sleeper from 8 weeks though.

DD was a dream baby, I could not believe my luck. She fed for 15/20 minutes and slept for hours, day and night, piled weight on.

I thought when I got DS2 I had it cracked.

He was another demanding high needs baby, but I handled it better this time and was more relaxed. He never slept more than 3 hours at night til he was 13 months though!

both high-needs babies

but lovely, adorable toddlers

Oh the relief!!

The folic acid can begin. I cant imagine having a baby where I dont have to continually stave off a whine marathon. I feel like a Bomb defuser at times, constantly try to find different ways, chopping and changing tactics to make DD happy. Sometimes I feel shes looking round the room trying to find something to be pissed off about . What is it like having a relaxed baby or toddler? Must be very different...

Many thanks for your experiences. Right then, my next baby WILL be relaxed!

1- very high maintance

2- not so high

3-good baby

4-adorable (not without work but I am so much better

1 - high maintenance

2 - much easier

3- much easier still!

My first (ds) was a nightmare baby NEVER stopped crying. I thought it was normal at the time!! He is still extremely hard work at 5 years old and will continue to be methinks!

My second (dd) was an angel baby and pretty chilled out as a toddler so far (the odd tantrum but nothing to write home about!).

I think they often reverse roles when they get older. DD1 was hard going as a baby but now at 9 very chilled. DD2 was a dream baby, slept ate well and happy, now at 5 she is a real live wire and drives me to insanity. DD3 now 13 weeks old, so far very chilled and easy, just hoping she doesn't turn into DD2 otherwise I am going to need valium!

I maybe striking pretty far from the point here, but is there anything anyone has done to make them more contented?

Am obviously not talking genetic engineering here, but like being more relaxed in pregnancy, more laid back with parenting.

Admittedly due to a horrible birth and recovery for both me and DD, I started off as very neurotic. Had a breathing monitor til a few months ago, and one of those monitors that you could see the baby when she went into the next room, like a TV

Maybe parents are more relaxed with the second?

cat

well he was attached to my boobs apart from the 8 hours at night!

DS2 was a real clingon though, 24/7....

Cat64 - honestly now, scouts honour, there is such a thing

I think DD is such a good sleeper as she NEVER stops during the day. Always on the want for something, and we're out in all weathers. Shes never liked slepping during the day, and has now given up lunchtime sleep. Daylight hours, are hours to be whinged through

1 - content happy baby. Rarely slept during the day. Slept though from 9 weeks.

2 - high maintenance. Disliked being a baby and boy did I know about it. Rarely sleeps through now at 2 years.

Currently expecting no 3, so who knows which type I will get!

I think with subsequent children you are far more laid back, you know a little more about what you are doing, better at reading their cues etc You have been able to dedicate more time to oldest child but subsequent children have to share you which I am sure makes them more independent. Also subsequent children have big brothers and sisters to play and entertain.

DS1 high needs
DD1 pretty easy
DD2 a doddle
DS2 (after a long break)challenging but we can handle it

As to what we did better/differently, well I was certainly miles better at breastfeeding DD1,and a full belly's got to make a baby more content hasn't it? I was definitely more laid back as well, picked my battles, knew what was just a phase etc.
DS2 aged 3, can be a little monkey, but when dS1 aged 16 moans about how naughty he is, me and DH just exchange a knowing look. Compared to how his big brother was, he is a little lamb.

To be perfectly frank, I never had time to notice him for the first two or three years...Dd took most of my time and energy. But he was easy.

I was glad to see that he did go into a demanding phase round about the age of 6; I don't think it's healthy if one family member gets permanently stuck in the "easy" role.

Interesting post!

My DS (just turned 2) was very very high-needs as a baby. Cried all day long for no reason. Nothing made him happy. Clingy beyond belief. You know the score!! He's now a very happy, clever and well-behaved toddler, it's like he had a personality transplant.

I'm now pregnant again and must admit to being quite anxious already about the baby years. I know that no two are the same and that I'll be more relaxed etc, but I also know that nothing anything could have done differently would have changed DS.

Here's hoping I get a chilled out one! But then he/she might be a nightmare when they get older!!

Btw, I don't believe that this behaviour is a boy/girl thing. People have annoyed me by saying, "Oh, that's boys for you". I was exactly the same as a baby! I've also heard people saying that they hoped for a boy next time because girls are hard work!! Proves my point that it is down to the baby's temperament entirely and not the gender.

Both of mine were high needs babies. But they are an absolute dream at 4 and 5 (and have been since they were about 2).