Advice for pregnant mum with jealous/insecure 3 year old please!

[AliMouse]

My (soon to be) middle son is very anxious about us having another baby. He is getting progressively clingy/needy cries easily, has nighmares and has regressed in the potty department. We are both trying to give him as much reassurance as possible and spend lots of time with him but it's just getting worse. His older brother has been trying to jolly him along and buddy up but he seems to think that his days of being loved are numbered. He reacted very badly when i held a friends 2 week old at the weekend and it gave me an ominous glimpse into the future.

Has anyone got any good advice or some stragies for the time around the birth and beyond on how I can make the transition a bit easier for him? I'd love him to be excited about becoming a big brother but he just seems really scared.

Help!

Hi - I've only got 2 boys, so am an amateur compared to you,. DS1 was 2.7 when DS2 was born.

My initial feeling about what you've said is that you can't really predict how it will be, but, much as you'd love him to be excited, I'd keep your expectations very low. By that I mean, not expecting him to have any interest or fellow-feeling for his sibling, but to show how pleased you are if he is.

Try and keep his routines - especially bath and bedtime the same

Get a present for him "from his brother" to give to him when he sees you after the birth

Good luck

I have 2 girls then an adored little boy and our new baby boy arrived in September.

I under estimated the effect that it would have on DS1.He became clearly anoyed that he could no longer get my attention.

I gave him massages often and this has helped emormously.

Things have now settled down,he adores his brother and has learned to share me more.

I can't recomend giving him a massage more strongly,it has really worked for us.

It is tough when you are so exhausted but it does not need to be for long.(10 mins will do)I feel

that it has payed off in a very short space of time.

Give him a massive amount of extra attention and keep doing it. My ds2 is only starting to get over the trauma of ds3 arriving and they are 5 and nearly 4. I definitely did not attribute enough importance too it - it can be a really big deal.