Trying to correct speech...

[foresttarotadmin]

I have three children, one due next month. My middle child at present is 3 years 7 months old. My husband made some comments to me a month or so ago that her speech is not very good. I refuted that, as she has a great vocabulary but she cant pronounce almost all phonics, sh, ch, t, and so on. She also gets things the wrong way round. Anyways then my MIL said the same thing and so I thought, maybe I have been a bit lazy with her an started to make small corrections.

Somehow, its ended up a total battle of wills! The main one at the moment I was trying to sort out, was her asking a question. She says, Please I can, instead of please can I. So if she says it wrong, I say calmy...no, thats not right, whats the right way. She will say, Please Can I. Then stop. So i will say, right now ask your question again properly. She will say, I dont know what to say, or start going...ummmm ahhhh...ummm. All the while grinning away like its a game to her and possibly it is.

9 times out of 10 I end up getting really cross and just doing whatever it is, to finish the situation.

I dont understand it, I never had this problem with my eldest. Am I just being ridiculous? My eldest was a very quick learner and was using words like 'delightful' at the age of 2 and half, I never really had to teach her to talk correctly as such. Should I just be letting it go and ignoring comments about her speech?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop it imediately !

The way to help a child with langauge is not to make them upset and frustrated and self concious about their speech !!!!
It will have exactly the opsosite effect from the one that you want and will make her struggle more and will possibly make her stop wanting to talk.
Seriously. I can't emphasise emough. Stop now.
Think how you would feel with someone following you around and correcting every single thing you say.

What you can do is repeat back to her the correct phrase. Be positive and be smiley and encouraging with her. The object is to make her enjoy speech and want to do it more.

So if she says "please I can" have a drink" you just say " Please can I have a drink? ^of course you can have a drink! Can I have a kiss?

Ifthe problem persists then speak to someone ( your GP ) about a speech and language referral

Have to add...

I hate to be so bossy but you may have guessed my DS had similar issues. He was diagnosed with oral dyspraxia but bythe time I got some advice he was in a terrible state - very angry and frsutrated.

A child will usually assimilate speech mostlythrough hearing normal speech and being talked too. If you child has speech quirks this is not really because you haven't been correcting properly and an inability to pronounce some sounds could be some for of dyspraxia but as she is young it may just be where she is currently at in her speech development.
Either way. correcting won't help and may make it worse.

But sorry to sound bossy - I just don't want you to go too far down the correcting road and cause problems for both of you

Ditto pagwatch - all three of mine had speech delays of differing kinds and dd and ds2 have had speech therapy. Correcting them (outside of the gentle correction they get in a structured therapy session or practice) just doesn't work, esp not with a 3 yr old, if yours is anything like mine . Modelling and repetition of the correct speech is the only way.

Also - teach your dh and MIL how to speak correctly to dd as the more people she hears the same speech sounds and patterns from, clearly and repeatedly, the faster she will pick it up.

Oh she doesnt get upset, As I say in my post, she is grinning, its me whom is the one that ends up stressed and just doing whatever it is before I end up upsetting her.

I also didnt say I follow her around all day correcting her speech just this particular one of saying please I can which tends to happen just at meal times when asking to get down from the table only very occasionally at other times.

Anyways, thanks for the reassurance that there is no issue to be worrying myself over here then, I will relax a bit more and see how she comes along

"I also didnt say I follow her around all day correcting her speech "

Ah. A good illustration of how well adults respond to having things explained to them - however well intentioned.

"9 times out of 10" suggested that it happens sufficiently often to be able to apply a ratio, which is the only reason I was anxious that what sounded like disputes stopped asap.
But now you have clarified that you posted because it happened once or twice when she asked to get down from the table, I am sure it is not an issue.