New baby development - online resources or book recommendations wanted please

[clrichards]

Hi all,

Can anyone recommend some good internet resources or books detailing baby development?

What I'm after is info on what my baby should be doing and when and also what I should be doing with her to encourage her in achieving those milestones (if that makes sense). I'm not sure I'm doing enough with her to stimulate her, but I'm also not sure what kind of things to do being a first time mum. My baby is now 10 weeks old.

It probably comes naturally to most of you but not me I'm afraid , so any info greatly appreciated.

Thanks
Claire

My MIL is a social worker and they always recommend The Social Baby to new mothers that ask.

Here it is

Personally, I'd join the library, take your baby to the free sessions they always have and browse through their books. There are loads in our library.

milestone chart 0-6 months

You don't need to do anything special to stimulate your baby or help her develop - she will develop skills in her own time. Looking at charts can cause a lot of worry and heartache unless you are prepared to look at it and realise there is a wide margin of what is normal.

The best thing you can do to stimulate a baby is go about your everyday life and let them experience it - talk to them, tell them about things you are doing, let them see you doing everyday things - a sling is good as they are more at adult level, but equally it's fine to let them lie on a baby gym or in a bouncer etc while you get on and do things. I used to put DS in his buggy and let him watch me cook etc, he liked that because he could see me. And let them explore household objects and things outside when they get more active, don't be afraid of dirt, it washes off

I'm with Bertie on this one. When you do read books, it's a great idea to bear in mind that milestones are highly general; and they can often cause more worry than is necessary.

I had Miriam Stoppard's "Baby's First Skills" out of the library which was quite good. It had a chapter for each month with a description of where baby should be at and suggestions of activities to encourage various skills. It also had charts showing how baby needs to master certain skills to progress on to others, like rolling, crawling and then walking. It sounds like the sort of thing that you're after.

However I found that sometimes my baby was ahead but mostly way behind the descriptions. I remember one chapter about looking at books with baby and asking "Is that a pig?" and so on and then baby would nod and shake his head, or else would imitate noises and so on. Mine didn't and still doesn't at 1 year! So it did make me feel a bit inadequate in places.

It was however very good at suggesting ways to play with baby and suitable toys to develop different skills.

That book sounds ridiculous! My DS is 15 months old and I doubt he could tell a pig from a cow, and he is not nodding his head at all yet (sometimes shakes it if he knows he is doing something he shouldn't be) - that sounds more like something I'd expect from an 18 month old.

Sorry OP, for books, I like the Kaz Cooke one, used to be called Kidwrangling but I think it is the rough guide to babies & toddlers now.

I work in psychology and was involved in the development of a child developmental journal for early years/sure start. It is based on sound long standing research. most of the journals are aimed at children with disabilities but the one we worked on is a generic one for pre-diagnosis really but it could be used for babies without difficulties and is set out in stages with an indication of the age for each stage in the intro. I'm on my phone so cannot link to it but search for early years developmental journal and it should time up...

Alternatively I would consider getting a good psychology text on child development to avoid fads...

There is a pf version online of the journal or you can phone for a free copy... Comes in an a4 folder... Worth a look for free!

the link for the developmental journals are via this page here

and the journal itself is the generic one here

Thanks for all your excellent suggestions ladies.

I think the most important thing I am going to take away is not to get hung up on what baby "should" be doing and to just include baby in normal day to day activities.

Hi Claire
I loved Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child. I found it very sane, gentle and baby-centred and not too focused on milestones - but at the same time backed up by lots of really useful information.

I've read a lot of baby books (sad, I know) and it's my favourite.

When your baby is able to sit up and therefore have his hands free you could think about setting up a treasure basket for him. Most nurseries do this now and there are quite a few websites which sell them and also give info on why they are a good idea. It's easy to make your own. The idea is that the baby is just exploring different objects without any end in view. Unlike the usual plastic toys people buy which don't amuse them for long, treasure baskets can keep a baby concentrating for at least 30 minutes and often more (I work in early years and also have a close friend with a 9 month old) One website is www.earlyyearsplanning.co.uk but I'm sure there are plenty more.
Try not to worry too much about development, I've got 5 children, one of whom knew all her letter sounds at 2 1/2 (which the health visitor said was impossible.) She didn't learn to read any sooner than my son who still couldn't string a sentence together at 3. They have a tendency to even out as they grow.
Good luck.

How good are those treasure baskets!! I'm definitely going to make a start on putting one of those together myself. It all sounds so obvious doesn't it but until it was pointed out to me it never crossed my mind to do something like that!

I'm finding it really hard not to worry about my daughters development, though in my defence this is my first child and I am an excesive worrier at the best of times! Despite my fretting she is such a happy little thing, always laughing and "talking" so we must be doing something right

It is reassuring to know that people have seen from experience that kids tend to even out eventually. My mum said I was walking at 9 months but had no teeth till I was 2, so I guess thats a perfect example!

Thanks again.

I can recommend this book.

It is called Baby Talk and it goes through all the various stages of speech development and is very helpful in terms of the best way to communicate with your baby.

It also includes ideas of appropriate toys and books for each few months.

I also had a version of this book. My version was from 0-1 year and it has a suggested activity per week.

Also as you have identified yourself as a worrier! (I am also one!). I really really recommend this book by Tanya Byron.

It's called Your Child Your Way and I find that it is useful to read every now and then as a sort of anti-dote to all the other parenting reading I do.

This is because it makes you realise that there are no "quick fix" solutions to parenting and that most of it comes from being relaxed and confident in yourself. Also a lot of our DCs behaviours stem from our own behaviours.

You will always get people you don't like to worry/read as much as you do. We don't all get brought up surrounded by family and babies anymore and we have the knowledge to read and learn different ways to how we were parented.

So if reading/researching works for you - then do it.

I love the following quote which I found somewhere:

"Many of the time-honoured techniques are, quite simply, bad advice masquerading as wisdom"!

I got Your Baby Week by Week: The Ultimate Guide to Caring for Your New Baby
by Simone Cave and Dr. Caroline Fertleman and found it reassuring and non-patronising. I didn't get it until my DD was about 10 weeks old but it was really reassuring in breaking down the general milestones for sleeping, eating, playing, etc. I'm a worrier too!

For regular baby development updates, sign up for the MN emails, I think they are monthly and I found them very interesting.