manny do it, daddy do it

[bobblesmum]

Help- I am getting so tired of the mummy do it, daddy do it game! 3 yr old daughter really playing up at the moment and having such distressing paddys if we do not switch when she so. I will start to dress her then she will switch to daddy do it, daddy will then do it and she will switch again to mammy do it - this can go on for some time. we have tried just one of us doing it and this results in a fully blown tantrum where she will scratch and nip most of the time me! she will then get really upset, kick, scream and sometimes be sick. I try so hard to stay calm and try to calm her down. She is brilliant if the other one is not around, so I know she is playing us. Is this normal, will she grow out of it. Any suggestions? Has anyone else experienced this?

Stick to just one of you doing whatever and don't give in for anything! She will get worse for a while, so be prepared for extra volume and trantrums, but stick with it - if you give up it'll be back to square one and worse.

You've basically created the problem yourselves by trying to be too accommodating - you are the parents, you are in charge.

As for scratching and nipping - my just 3 year old has been slapping at us in anger for some time and we just firmly tell her 'no, you don't hurt people and if you do you have to go to time out'.

We do it consistently, but she still has a go when she's really grotty - but she will stay in time out until she apologises. Due to her age, if she seems to be tired, her time out may be 'ok, let's see if you need a sleep'. We always get an apology and then it's all cuddles and kisses for being a good girl for 'doing the right thing'.

So, keep calm and be strong - it will pass but it will be quicker, and more beneficial allround, if you make sure she knows who's in charge - so true that kids need boundaries (and rules, and praise and encouragement when they do right..)

Hope this helps and doesn't sound too patronising.