no nappies from birth - please help me understand!

[littlebylittle]

a friend is 36 weeks and has shared with me that she intends to try no nappies with her new baby, ie spotting cues and catching whatever comes. I'd like to understand and support with this although I know it's not the route for us. How should i handle her visits? Sorry to sound naive but I'm guessing in the learning phase that there might be accidents and I'm not sure I'm up for that in our home. Also, why? what's the benefit except for no nappies to wash/throw so presumably more environmentally friendly? It's so out of my experience that I would love some thoughts

she may be talking about Elimination Communication but I thought they still used nappies (maybe re-usables)

sounds like a hideously huge amount of laundry to me

...! What does she intend to do at night?

wonder how long it'll last once the baby actually arrives???? as Ive read babies have no bladder control till 18 months earliest I think it was shell have to catch everything in something. My first used to poo about 1/2 hour after every feed but wees?? hows she going to manage in the car - I used terry nappies - but I only have ever heard of that approach being taken in hot countries where the mothers wear them in slings and just hold them away from them when thy're about to do something presumably on the ground/in mud/field where they are and presumably not cleared up!

The only cues we could have spotted with DS was an arc of pee travelling from winky to floor. Again - what is she going to do at night? Split shifts with her and her DH watching the LO like a hawk?

She will give up!

Babies poo/wee all the time including during feeds and while they sleep.

She will find she is constantly cleaning pooy/wet clothes- hers and baby's as well as constantly being on edge and stripping her baby to hold it over a potty.

She will not be able to take her baby out in buggy, car, sling etc or if she does everything will get wet and smelly.

I have heard of this before but quite frankly it is ridiculous. If you want to go down these lines then I think you can start from about 6-9 mths of 'no nappy' when up and about and at home during the day- a friend of mine's aunt did this when she was looking after her neices and nephews- all 3 were toilet trained by 18mths but would have frequent accidents and bed wetting.

Don't worry about what to do when she is at your house- she will never be able to get there!

Elimination Communication - I was going to do this, it didn't work out for us. I am quietly in awe of anyone who does manage it TBH! Most people use cloth nappies as "back up" but some people don't at all. I am still on the ECUK yahoo group and a lot of people do get on well with it - it is possible!

She should be respectful of your home and if she doesn't want to put the baby in nappies at least when out and about then she should bring an old towel and/or an absorbent, waterproof mat to put underneath him/her.

someone in my PN group did EC effectively I think, not sure how it all works but would love to know

I think there will be nappies at night - esp since they co sleep with ds and intend to do same. tbh I feel all the stuff expressed above - and getting the idea that in our house nappies a reasonable request. I don't want her to be isolated as I can imagine that the logistics of travel could be prohibitive. We're only three doors down. Perhaps I'll visit there for first months if nappies in day time are no no. Then it'll be summer and outside. I can't see it working too well with dmanding ds (4) but she is my friend and I do want to support her. God knows, I've had some ideas that people might disagree with! I need to know that I'm not being unreasonable to think it's a bit unusual! What are the benefits to family and child, I wonder? I suppose it's like that lotus birth thing - you bond very closely cos people might not be so keen to hold a nappy less baby? But then just don't go for baby passing and stay close to home? BUt I am very very naive about all this so this is why I ask.

Interesting link written by someóne who has done it:

www.freewebs.com/carried-family/nappyingunnappying.htm

BB, why does the o in someone have an accent? very strange - i thought it was one of those bugs that dies in your screen at first!

Sorry, DS was sitting on my lap and must have pressed ALT GR

I can try to answer a few questions as I did a lot of research into it before DS was born and after.

Lots of laundry - probably about as much as using cloth nappies, maybe slightly more (although that would mean you had a full wash load more quickly so maybe not a bad thing)

At night - some people use nappies at night. Others keep a bowl or potty by the bed and "potty" the baby whenever they wake at night. Newborns don't tend to roll around so it's quite easy to position a cloth or towel or nappy between their legs or underneath them - if you are co-sleeping it would be easy to adjust if the baby moved anyway. Apparently even tiny babies do tend to stir or wake slightly to wee and you become aware of this.

Hot countries - yes this is common in many countries, even China which is more developed than other countries where it is practised.

Going out - most people use nappies as back up when going out. I am sure they would not be very welcome guests if they did not! It would not be very comfortable for a baby to be in a car seat with nothing on so people do tend to at least dress them in tiny pants or training pants if not using nappies, under clothes. I think that being in a pushchair would mean the baby was too "removed" from the parent to notice cues so nappies would be essential or if they used slings all the time they might be able to notice in time to "potty" them.

You can do it part time and have the baby in nappies the rest of the time, apparently. I am not sure how this works as I thought it might be confusing but apparently it does.

As for benefits of it - well it's personal choice whether the hard work is worth it, but there are lots - money saved on nappies, less nappy rash, toilet training generally completed earlier (though this is not the aim), increased communication between you and the baby, baby not sitting in its own excrement even for a minute.

HTH (Also I got distraced while typing so apologies if thread has moved on)

I am sort of doing EC with my daughter, but we use cloth nappies. We started at 6 months and my daughter is nearly 9 months. We are quite good at catching the poos, but generally miss half the wees.

My daughter is not anymore toilet trained than any other baby. However she does have no nappy rash. I put her on the potty every time I go to the toilet. It is completely up to her whether she does anything. There is no pressure. The advantages for her is less nappy rash. Being on the potty gives her bare bottom time, without my house getting covered in baby wee.

I think that not using nappies with a newborn is completely and utterly nuts. There are more important things for a newborn to learn like breastfeeding and sleeping throught the night.

You sound like a lovely friend btw. If it was my friend doing this I'd just assume they were bonkers.

ah - well I do think she's a bit bonkers! But only in a nice way. She is totally and utterly devoted to ds and I don't think she'd ever do anything she didn't firmly believe was in best interests of her family. I just sometimes worry that the things she does don't prioritise her needs, but then her needs are her family's needs I guess. And anyway, I think she'd think the same of us - only different things she'd see as bonkers think are perfectly sane!

it'll never last!! No offence to your friend but once the baby is here i would have thought she'll soon change her mind!

I do part-time EC with DD, have been since about 3 months (now 9), we go on timing mostly though as I've never spotted her signals for a wee. I couldn't have done it from the start but I read a really lovely book about it and the author had done it from day 1, she felt more in tune with her baby because of this. here

Can someone explain what the point of it is? It seems like as awful lot of work. And for what? Who benefits?

I agree - can't see the point of it. Sounds like another of those ideas that assumes whatever is the most hassle and trial for the mother must automatically be best for their baby.

Oops, didn't read the whole thread. I still can't see the point though.

I posted earlier and provided a link as to what the benefits are higher up in the thread.

It's clearly not for everyone but I do get a bit annoyed with all the negativity aimed at it a lot of the time.

I think BertieBotts' list of benefits sums it up for a lot of people who do EC, and for a lot of them it is one part of their overall approach to parenting, which often encompasses attachment parenting things like using a sling, co-sleeping type things.

I know changing nappies doesn't sound like much work compared to doing without but if the baby and parent take to EC the baby can be out of nappies by a year old, versus keeping on changing nappies and cleaning bum for a year or two more.

For anyone who is interested this little documentary film "Scout go pee-pee" shows what it's like for some parents.