3 year old + Newborn = not good combination...

[Sonilaa]

My three year old is a proud big brother. At least sometimes, clumsy wet kisses and loads of cuddles...

But he is a bit attention seeking at the moment (understandable) and is wetting his pants again after beeing dry during daytime for quite a few months.
Now he has dropped a heavy toy on Baby´s head. Will be a nice bruise...

How have you handled a toddler/small child and a newborn? Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. It feels like I am only shouting at him and making him feel bad, which I really don´t want.

DD2 is due in March, when DD will be 2.7yrs. I am fretting about how the hell I am going to cope!

I think it's a shock for everyone when a new person is brought into the house so it does take some time for us all to adjust.

My DD was 2 1/2 when DS was born and it still makes me cry when I think of this but one day she was crying and wanted more attention than she was getting as the baby was crying too. I put the baby down and took DD into another room and told her that just because I had DS now didn't mean that I loved her any less, it just meant there were more people to love in the house and she stopped crying instantly.

Good Luck! It is hard but you have just given your son the best present in the world - a sibling to love!

My DS1 was three years and a month when DS2 was born. He was lovely throughout the pregnancy (saying he had a baby in his tummy too!) and when baby bro first arrived. He never seemed to resent DS2 but the biggest change was that prior to DS2's arrival, whenever he was doing something he shouldn't I used to take him by the hand, move him away from whatever it was, say firmly 'no, don't do that because...' and distract him with something else. This wasn't possible when breastfeeding or nappy changing etc. Also I was more tired and short on patience so, I'm sad to say, I relied more on telling him 'stop doing that, it's naughty!' which I felt was detrimental to our relationship.

He gravitated more to doing things with his dad as well. This might have been a natural progression given his age and growing interest in more boyish stuff but I felt it was down to me having less time etc.

On the plus side though, I was past potty changing and sleepless nights with DS1 before DS2 came along. DS1 also started nursery in the mornings so while it was a rush to get him there, I did have some time with DS2 to myself each day.

However, some eight years on and we're passed all that. the boys are either best of friends or worst of enemies and I'm permanently refereeing!

There is a 2.5 month gap between DS1 and DS2. On the whole DS1 adjusted really well when DS2 came along and I think that the main reason for that was that we made a real effort to keep DS1's routine and his little life the same (as much as possible) after DS2 came along, eg keeping his hours at nursery the same, still making sure he gets one on one time with us, going swimming, etc. We also tried really hard to discipline him the same ways we had before but it is really hard work trying to look after a toddler and a newborn, especially when you're not getting much sleep so are more short tempered than you were before.

Some really good advice I was given in my ante-natal classes with DS2 was to remember that DS1 is still a very young child, still a baby in some ways, and that I shouldn't change my expectations of him when DS2 came along and suddenly expect him to act like a grown-up just because he wasn't the baby in the family any more. I find that it does help me to look at things from his perspective and remember that he needs me to help him just as much as DS2 does.

We're now at the stage where DS2 is moving and seems to naturally gravitate towards DS1's toys. That's a whole new challenge...

No help from me I'm afraid as my 2.9 year old has started wetting and dirtying himself again, despite being clean and dry for 9 months, since his sister arrived 4 weeks ago.

Lurking for some advice too...

2.2 years between mine and what helped us was buying DS his own baba and pushchair for his birthday just before DD arrived. When I was feeding her he'd sit with me and "feed" his doll (ELC about £15 for the 2), then would walk up and down the room burping the doll (insisting on a muslin on his shoulder). I also bought him a special teddy off mummy and refound his taggies, and he has become really attached to both (teddy is unsurprisingly now named "special teddy off mummy" - yes it's amouthful every night when he says goodnight!!!). You probably know all these tips, but a folder of small books and little toys that you can grab to sit with on the sofa when you're feeding. Try and have some special time with him on his own whenever DP is around. I alternate telling him he's a special big boy now and telling him he's still mummy's baby too (DS obv not DH ). I got all his baby pics out and show him when he lived in mummy's belly, just like DD did.

We're 9months down the line now and it really is all so much easier. - I still struggle a bit at nap time juggling, but they lvoe each other already (especially since santa brought them both toys they can share!!!)

Oh, and cbeebies should become your best friend .

also, within reason, ignore all not-so-good behaviour and focus on praising the nice stuff