Early waking, Me and DH are shattered!!

[Coldhands]

I know this has probably been done to death, but I am bloody exhausted.

My DS (23 months) has always been early waker, somewhere between 6-6.30. This week he started waking at 5.30 and has got earlier each day with today being 4.50. I have M.E. and mornings are my worst time so DH gets up with DS before he goes to work at 7.30. Then DS comes upstairs to play until I can drag myself up at about 8.

However with him waking up so early, it obviously wakes me up too, it takes me ages to get back to sleep and by the time I do,its almost time for him to come upstairs. He has a sleep at 11 which I love as I can have a rest too, although he can go off straight away, it does take me quite a while.

I would go to bed earlier but even then it takes me quite a while to go off when I go between 10.30-11pm.

He does still need his sleep in the day, he is asking about sleep time a bit before he actually goes and he usually goes off very quickly. He averages about 1hr 20mins, sometimes a bit longer.

Are there ANY tips out there for getting him to sleep longer in the mornings? He goes to bed at 7pm, keeping him up longer wouldn't work as it doesnt matter what time he goes up, he will still get up early and have a very bad night if he doesn't go at 7, plus I like my evenings!

I feel bad about it as I get quite bad tempered and grumpy (like anyone) when I'm tired and spend the rest of the day like a zombie and have a headache. This also means I don't have the energy to take him out as much as I would like to, so any advice would be welcome!

When he wakes at 4.50, do you allow him to get up and stay up as if its morning? Because it clearly isn't, its the middle of the night(ish) still and I think if you allow him to get up he will think thats OK.

My DS2 wakes very early too (he has just turned 3). But we have a rule that we absolutely stick to, which is anything before 6.30 is still night time and he must be put back to bed, in his own bed with all lights off still.

Obviously for the first few times he didn't understand and got up 10 minutes later, but being consistant has paid off and he absolutely accepts being put back to bed now.

Bigus Yes we do get him up. I have actually been thinking that this is wrong as, like you say, it is not morning adn we obviously wouldn't allow it if it was 3 o clock.

DH did try putting him back this morning and he absolutley screamed, but maybe if we are consistant, he will get the message. We did have to do that in the evenings at one point, he went down at 7 no problem then kept waking up at 8. At first we were trying to find out the 'problem' hungry/thirsty/itching etc but it wasn't anything. We went in, told him it was time to go back to sleep and after 3 nights he stopped it.

Coldhands I think if you have done it before with the evening, and it worked, then try it with the mornings. I understand with your ME that it might only be possible for your DH to do this training, but as long as he is consitant with the time when it is Officially Morning and puts him back to bed with no fuss it will probably work.

We just say to DS2, "Hey shhhhh its still night time, back to bed. See you in the morning"! Even if its only 20 mins to the morning!

DS1 was exactly the same as well and as soon as he recognised what numbers meant (at 4yrs i think) we got him a digital clock and put a plaster over the minutes bit, so he could only see the hour. He wasn't allowed up until that first number said 7. He is 7yrs now and hew still uses the clock although he can tell the time now. I wiull be getting one for ds2 as soon as he knows what a 7 looks like!

(Plus you can change the time on the clock if you fancy a lie in, lol!)

Yeah I think you're right. Hopefully it should work, and that clock thing sounds like a good idea. Got to wait a couple of years for that one though!! Although my friend does set an alarm for her DD to get up and she is not allowed up before this time, although that is 8 which seems a bit harsh!

We use this toddler clock which works a treat - the moon shows during sleep time and then the sunshine comes!

I've often posted on this, if you put bunny clock in search you'll see my solution, don't want to bore everyone by repeating it again. good luck, early waking is a horror

Hi Coldhands

This happened to us - the waking got earlier and earlier until we were getting up at 3 every morning - me in tears; and our little boy crying and fretful during the day.

This worked for us:

• We decided on a time that was "morning" - 6 am in our case

• Any time he got up before this, we would gently, but firmly, tell him it was still nighttime, and lay him back down; and we would keep doing this, no matter how many times he got up, the subsequent times not saying anything at all, but simply standing over the cot, or sitting near it, not communicating at all

• At 6 am, we would open the curtains, and say "Good morning!", and then get him out of the cot

He screamed a lot for the first two or three mornings, but we persevered; and by, say, the fourth day, he was going back to sleep. Soon he was sleeping through til 6 am.

It can be distressing hearing a baby/toddler cry; but as long as we remained loving, but firm, then no harm was done - he was simply upset because we were changing his (very early rising) routine.

Now, no problems at all. It's making the decision to take action, and following it through, that's the toughie ... but it's well worth it.

Good luck!