My 4 year old will ONLY eat pasta and cheese for his tea!

[Snowfun]

Thats it nothing else! He will eat a normal enough breakfast - although not always and usually only after persuasion and he has a normal packed lunch at preschool (he goes 2.5 days a week)plus he has snacks at preschool of toast in the mornings and fruit in the afternoons but he will only pasta and cheese for his tea. We have tried giving him other food that the rest of the familys eating and refusing to give him an alternative, bribery with offers of chocolate etc everything but nothing works.

THe other day we had beef stew and dumplings (he used to eat that) and he refused to eat any of it so I tried bribing him to try it nothing so I said well there is nothing else on offer and stuck to it. The next morning I felt awful because he woke up feeling awful no energy had to be helped down the stairs and complained of feeling wobbly. After 2 bananas and a cup of milk he was fine! So now I am giving his pasta and cheese everyb night while ds2 and myself have our proper tea.

I think I would carry on with the pasta and cheese, but just put other things on the side or mix grated carrot in with the cheese and see if he will try them.

I had and to some extent still have the same problem with DS - 3.5yrs. He eats varied foods in the nursery but if I cook the same for him at home, he freaks out.

The amount of food I have chucked out is unreal and I was in tears at him not trying anything. Then I thought right, he's eating varied stuff at nursery, he eats yoghurt and fruit so its not as if he's missing out on any nutrients. If he wants cheesy pasta for dinner each night, he can have it! I always added some veg on the side though - which he sometimes ate, sometimes not.

Cheesy pasta is the main dish for him still, but I've managed to get him to eat fish by putting it on the side of the pasta. As he likes cheese so much, I tried him with cheesy omlette and cheesy jacket potato and I think we are making headway.

One thing I've found though, is that sometimes, when I've put something new in front of him, he's created and I've said don't eat it then and then half an hour later he's gone back to it and tried it.

If however, he flatly refuses, I will offer him a yoghurt or fruit salad (no chocolate) and he sometimes eats that, sometimes not

Its very stressful and I do appreciate your worry but I don't think will do him any harm

Just carry on with it without saying a word!

My ds2 (when he was 3, now 5) had egg, beans and toast EVERY NIGHT for 3 weeks!

Too many eggs I know but I could not be bothered with the fight of it all.

He soon got bored.

I put his dinner out and then on another plate a little bit of what we were having plus salad bits and he started to try other things.

Best not to comment on it as it seems to be a control thing with some children and they want to see if they can press your buttons.

HTH

Could you sneak in wholemeal pasta? Might be more vitamins. I wouldn't worry actually. He's getting protein, calcium and carbs. Not bad at all!

Jangly wholemeal pasta doesn't contain more vitamins, just more fibre, something children do not need in high amounts as it actually absorbs vital minerals and vitamins thus reducing what children actually get.

Young children do not need the high fibre diets recommended to adults.

Snowfun your Ds won't starve himself if you only offer what everyone is having for tea, he may refuse to eat anything a few times, but after feeling hungry and weak like he did that time a few times he will soon learn to eat whatever you give him.

Just persevere, no long term damage will come of him being hungry a few times! Have lots of meals based around pasta and cheese with other stuff too, but it's impoetant that you all eat the same thing so he doesn't think or expect special attention and special food just for him. You don't want it to become a habit.

Jangly - that's how I started to look at it and funnily enough, since I've stopped stressing about it, DS has been more open to trying things

Try not to make meals into a battleground or a time when your DS gets lots of attention from you with cajoling, bribery, pleading etc etc. Children love attention and will play up to it!

dd is almost 10 and she would have cheesy pasta every night!
i dont force things into her,on nights when its not cheesy pasta she moans,doesnt eat everything...but shes happy and healthy!

i was force fed as a child because i was sooo fussy and it made food an issue.it made it something i could use againgst my parents.i was one of four and labelled as the fussy eater,i got attention for it.
btw i now love food!i can still be fussy and i know im doing it.

so i wouldnt bribe,i wouldnt make a big deal out of it either.
does he enjoy cooking?you could get him to help with the shopping and cooking to see if that will make him want to try more.just simple things.

I think thats the problem meal times have become a battle ground with ds1 getting all the attention. All this has rubbed off abit on ds2 aged 2.2 who luckily ususally eats everything going but he has started to throw his food and smear yogurt or mashed potatoe stew etc on his hair put his plate of food on his head etc etc whilst shouting look mummy watch! His new sentance this week is "I don't like it!" Whhich is another why I decided to give in to ds1 and give him the pasta and cheese.

Mine ate macaroni cheese every day for nearly two years...

Before ds2 would stick his head down and eat everything going it was a standin joke. Infact dh had often commented to ds1 about ds2 eating so well which I didn't like but he is definately now picking things up about food etc.

I'm fed up of the meal time battles with my 2 DC's (4 and 2yo) so now if they push their plates away without trying the food we just let them know that it is their choice. We do insist they remain at the table though (not always successfully). Sometimes I offer some fruit, sometimes not. I'm not getting into offering alternative meals - they'll get what we eat or nothing

DS2 would live off bread based meals if I let him. It does worry me that he doesn't have a balanced enough diet at the moment, but I'm hoping this will be short lived!

I found both ds1 and ds2's tastes changed at around 4/5 yrs old. Very bizarre but meals that had once been firm favourites were refused and disliked. Had to rethink mealtimes but found that after a while, with a bit of tweaking, I was able to reintroduce foods that they seemed to have gone off although some still remain on the not wanted list!
If he likes pasta and likes cheese then base meals around that to begin with - cauliflower cheese, cheese sauce on fish, pasta with other things....if he's hungry he will eat something even if mealtimes are a more drawn out affair for a while.
Often simply giving them the independence to make choices helps so getting him very
involved in what's on the family menu might get him more interested?

my dd is quite fussy at the moment, so i have started hiding some veggies that she doesn't like eating. managed to put a whole pureed carrot in the homemade pasta sauce the other night and she loved it it is just a stage they go through and the best thing is not to bribe or draw attention. dd didn't want to have her lunch today and wanted something else. i left the plate on the table and just pointed to it whenever she asked for something, but didn't make a big deal out of it. after an hour she caved and ate most of the things on the plate maybe involve him when you are shopping and let him help in the kitchen to make food a bit more fun?

Also we have stopped preparing meals that we think the boys will eat in favour of things that DH and I enjoy instead. This has greatly reduced the stress of them 'wasting' their food.

I do still cook spinach lasagne weekly though as that is the one meal that they both love.

I wouldn't give him any attention what so ever over food -good or bad.Serve up what you are having and don't discuss. If he doesn't eat it remove-DO NOT get drawn into discussion. Have fruit available but no snacks. If he says he is hungry just tell him calmly that he didn't eat his dinner and then ignore. Do the same the next night. He won't starve. When he eventually eats something don't comment. It is nothing to do with food-it is a power struggle that you can't win. He knows that you want him to eat and it is getting him masses of attention, and then he gets his own way because you are grateful that he eats anything! Take all emotion out of it.

My dd is similar in that she is not picky at school, but only eats a limited selection of things at home. I just make sure that she has a bit of everything through the week, yoghurts, lots of fruits etc Otherwise, as long as she is not starving and living off crap, I don't worry

Sunday she surprised me. I make a roast dinner quite often. She'll eat the potatoes, carrots and a Yorkshire pud. Never the meat or other veg. I always put some on the plate. This week it was chicken. She started saying how she DOES like chicken, but only when it is like "this" mummy (hand actions) and when she could eat it with her fingers. I gave her a drumstick - she ate the lot. I can't believe i never tried before.

IMHO, don't get stressed about it.

Washersaurus
I think you're right in not making separate meals as this can just give dcs justification in refusing some foods. We make meals we know they will enjoy as we all enjoy them and if they refuse to eat them they have a choice, go hungry or eat something! They rarely go hungry and usually the promise of a yoghurt or a pudding is enough to persuade them to make at least a half decent attempt at eating the main course

Snowfun - I know what you mean about one child affecting how the other child views foods. We have had to warn ds1 not to voice his opinions on food he doesn't like as it often means that if he hears his big brother say he doesn't like something, ds3 will pipe up that he doesn't like it either even though he does! Infuriating and now ds1 gets "the glare" which he knows means "keep quiet and do your best"
At least you know from this thread that it's a common problem and you're not alone!

She isn't picky at school because there is no emotion in it-no one is really bothered if she eats it or not(they might need to encourage her so that money isn't wasted, but they know she can go a few hours without eating).

But the promise of a pudding simply doesn't work as he digs his heals in and refuses to eat anything but pasta and cheese. If its a pudding he likes he starts going on and on about wanting it but still refuses the main course completely iyswim. Thats what happened earlier in the week and he went to bed having had no tea at all.

DS1 isn't picky at preschool either just at home! A few xposts I'm afraid but I didn't expect to get such a big response I am obviously not alone!

I hope it didn't sound like we deliberately prepare meals that we doubt the children will eat - that would just be cruel .

Snowfun - but he won't carry on indefinitely having nothing to eat at all as he'll be hungry at some point and if he sees that by eating no main course he won't get anything else either he will eventually learn that he needs to be more co-operative.
It's not easy and I know I got really worn out cooking good food that I knew dcs would like but that they refused to eat but they do now try more things and I make a big thing of being proud if they do try something and they often admit that actually they like something after all.
In the meantime, giving pasta and cheese with a different variety of veg every so often will give you at least some peaceful mealtimes and maybe you could do a deal with him that if he eats what you cook for tea on certain days then you will make him pasta and cheese on other days in return?

Funnily enough at Christmas time when we had lots of family round he did actually eat loads of turkey stuffing and SOME veg (not much) and NO pasta for days!