Desperately seeking advice on sleeping 3 month old DD

[Firsttimer28]

Hello this is my first time on mumsnet and I really need advice.

My LO is 3 months and she sleeps very well in her own room from 7 till when I feed her at 10.30. Then I move her into a travel cot in our room and she sleeps till about 3 when she wakes for comfort rather than hunger. I have started a bad habit of putting her in bed with us at 3am where she will sleep on till about 5.30/6 when I feed her and then put her back in her cot in our our room where she sleeps till about 8. If i don't bring her into my bed at 3 she just wakes every 15mins and it is exhausting.

We tried putting her back in her own room after the 10.30 feed a few nights ago and she basically cried every 10 mins until I broke at 1 in the morning and brought her into our bed.

Any tips would be gratefully recieved? I'm feeling pretty hopeless!

Honestly? I think that sounds fantastic for 3 months. What are you hoping to change?

You're not hopeless! Most mums are so tired in the middle of the night that they would do exactly the same! You could try co-sleeping for the foreseeable future as a lot of families do and worry about it when they're older?

I literally just posted this suggestion on someone else's thread earlier with a similar problem to you, if you would prefer them to be in their own room and cot (which I did, as I slept better and so did they, once they were bigger):

I've read about this but haven't tried it, there is no right way to do it, I suggest you do it gradually over several weeks. Always respond initially when your baby calls for you I'd say and then perhaps over the weeks delay your response. The suggestion I read was to attach a cot to the side your bed with the side down against bed to begin with. Later the railing is placed up and the cot is moved a few inches from the bed. Gradually the cot is moved further and further away until it is in the baby's room. Perhaps this approach will work better than cold turkey for you?

Thinking about it, to add to my previous post, it is so comforting for them to be near you and once they're used to it it's natural for them to not like to have things changed about again and keep waking if they're not near you anymore after being used to it.

At the end of the day though, you have to do what's right for you and your baby. You'll get plenty of different suggestion on here though!

Have some chocolate (my usual advice) and a cuppa, you're doing great, motherhood is a hard job x

Thank you for the speedy responses I guess I feel like I'm getting into bad habits letting her into my bed and as she is happy to go from 10.30 till 5.30/6 without a feed I would like her to be able to sleep solidly during this time. Maybe I am asking too much at this stage.

I would like to move her into her own room in the next month or two but not sure I can handle the tough love controlled crying approach.

Thanks everyone.

Wow Firsttimer, you are doing brilliantly.

We are currently fostering a three month old baby and Dh and I take turns sleeping otherwise we'd get no sleep at all. Our little one sleeps from 11pm feed for an hour or so, then is awake until around 20 minutes before his next feed so he has a little nap (sigh) then his feed before he goes back to sleep for roughly an hour (if we're lucky)

Want to swap

I think when they're really small my motto is "whatever it takes to survive"

The moving the cot gradually suggestion may work if you would like them in their own room? However perhaps for you, just having the cot beside your bed for a while would be better and leave any sleep training for the future?

Although perhaps someone else will have a better tip for you.

Don't fall into the guilty trap though, as you're doing the best you can at the end of the day x

ds1 moved into his own room at 4 months (has always loved his sleep) & ds2 6.5 - both were mainly waking once a night by then (well maybe 4/5 out of 7 nights)
Neither me nor DH could sleep properly with ds in our bed (scared we would squash them!) and i used to be constantly checking everytime they made a single sound or didnt make a single sound when they were in our room!

DS2 never been a great sleeper, he used to be really hard to settle after a night feed, I used to wrap a top i had worn that day or my pj top around the mattress in his crib & he always settled much esier having something with my scent on it to snuggle up to.

We did the tough love controlled crying thing with ds1 but looking back i think he would have slept through soon enough anyway whether we did or not.

i dont think it matters where they sleep but i do think it really matters that they can fall asleep on their own.

loving whateverittakes mantra btw!

whatever it takes

She's too little to be in her own room. Keep her with you and do whatever it takes for the maximum sleep for the maximum number of people. Ignore all the rubbish about bad habits - they are very little animals that don't have wants that aren't also needs.

Oh and meetiing a need for comfort is just as important as meeting a need for food!

i have given up on the bold thing & my post should read;

" dont think it matters where they sleep but i do think it really matters that they can fall asleep on their own eventually"

But they will eventually! You don't have to do anything - it just happens. As my mother says "All babies should be born with "This Grows Up Automatically" tattooed on their foreheads"!

My only thought is that perhaps the changing about is a bit confusing for her - from our op it sounds as if everytime she wakes she will go to sleep somewhere different? If you're going to have her in your room then maybe it would be better to put her to sleep in the travel cot from 7 and just being put back there once she's fed/been comforted whatever through the night so that she gets used to always sleeping in the same place iyswim? Once she's used to going the whole night in one place and perhaps waking less you could then try moving her into her own room? 3mths is pretty young to be in her own room imo. My ds was in our room til he was 7mths and he then transferred easily to his own room (I was more bothered than him!)

hth

Thanks Everyone, its so great getting all this advice and just knowing other people are going through the same thing!

We had a bit of a triumph last night. I put her in her little pram cot when I put her down to sleep after the 10.30 feed in our room and she slept through till 5 on her own. I think she liked being a little snugger than in the big travel cot.

I think I'm going to keep her in with us for a bit longer before we try the complete transfer to her room.

Fingers crossed for more good nights for us all.

Awww that's god news. Well done you're doing great x

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