Despair with 9mo not sleeping AT ALL!

[aoifesmama]

Dear all,

Just before Christmas I posted as DD - 9 mo - had started waking each morning at 4am and would only go back to sleep if I cuddled her/took her with me back to bed. The (probably very good) advice I was given was to go in, soothe, come out + gradually increase the time I was out for. This has now turned in to a disaster. Slowly over the first week DD made herself upset to the point of being sick and we didn't return to sleep post 4am, just spent from 4 - 7am doing this up, down routine.

This has now moved on to DD waking earlier and earlier, for the last week its been about 11pm, and then remains awake on and off for the entire night, being very very upset. The pattern is about 45 mins of screaming, followed by 15 - 20 mins of sleep.

Over the last two days she has started getting upset when being put to bed, although will go to sleep after about half an hour. When all this started DD was going down to both naps and night awake in her cot (has since birth) perfectly happily and it was just the 4am waking that was a problem. I feel now like I've really created a huge problem and am at my wits end with the terrible nights. I am working full time and absolutely exhausted, DD is such a giggle and I love her to pieces, but am starting to despair.

DH is eager that I just bring her in to bed (which I've done twice) but a. she still wakes up hourly to check im there, and then go back to sleep and b. the beds just not big enough.

Can anyone out there help me at all?!?!

Please please please x

Message withdrawn

Can you move her cot or use a travel cot in your bedroom? She is at an age when seperation anxiety can kick in.

She is with MIL during the day Tues - Fri and DH on a Monday. They stick to her routine (45 mins in the AM, 2 hours PM).

She is a good eater, on three meals a day with a morning and night bottle + 4oz in the afternoon. I have offered food when she wakes, but she just wants cuddling.

I think the next stop is to put her in the travel cot, although as soon as we put her down anywhere at night she seems to become hysterical!

Thank you for replying, makes me feel more sane.

My DD was like this when we tried CC on her. I think that for some children it works and for others it is real hell (DS, for example took OK to CC).

We had similar things with DD. In the end we did a retreat method where we sat with her every night til she went to sleep, and very slowly, over the weeks (and months) we moved out of the room (sat a bit farther away from her and a bit closer to the door). It took a long time (but that was our choice to go at it very slowly).

MIght be worth a try. She's obviously got frightened of her bed and being without you not your fault, it's the perfect age for separation anxiety to kick in and needs lots of reassurance that you are there for her.

Can you make the travel cot a fun place to be in the daytime so less 'scary' at bedtime and allow longer for her to wind down to get ready to sleep?

How does she sleep in the am/pm daytime?

My DD is slightly older (one next week!) but I've just been posting about the same thing. She used to be a brilliant sleeper, could settle herself no problem. And now we've been up all night for the last few nights, I'm working full time too. Its horrible isn't it?

I'm afraid I don't have much advice apart from what others have said, we find that if we go in, soothe and come out she is more upset than she was in the first place. And last night I lied on her floor pretending to sleep and she just stood up in her cot watching me! So I had to rock her to sleep in the end which I think only worked because she was exhausted.

People suggested to me on my other thread to check for ear infections, teething, anything else that could be painful when lying down.

The travel cot in your room idea sounds good, maybe with a nightlight on so she can see you if she wakes up. Not tried it myself but its probably one of the next things on my list.

I was watching Loose Women on ITV2 at 3am this morning trying to rock her to calm her down!

Just to say...travel cot is now in our room. It has resulted in much standing up, baa-ing, dada-ing, blowing bubbles and then crying during the night, before cuddles to sleep and back to travel cot. I am very very very tired, but the This Too Will Pass is ringing in my ears...although the question "how soon?" is rather important

does she need less sleep now she's older??
i only ask because ds was waking up at 5 ready for the day and we realised that since christmas, and the mess his routine got into, he had gone from 45mins to 1h naps to doing 2h easily 3 times a day!
we cut down his naps and now he sleeps till 6 which is much more manageable!
also don't let her nap too late in the day - another silly thing we were doing wrong.

This might be totally irrelevant, but my 11mo DD was waking up quite a lot last few weeks ( after a couple of months of sleeping trough or waking up just once).
I put her down for her nap yesterday and day before under a blanket, not in her grobag and she slept for two hrs- usually 45 min.
So I did the same for the night and- voila- slept til 5.30 am, had a quick bf in my bed and then back to her cot where she slept til 8!
She stirred a few times and sort of whimpered for a few seconds, but has settled herself back to sleep. I think grobag was getting all twisted and she was getting uncomfortable.
I went a got her a duvet today- will see tonight if I'm onto something here.
Disclaimer: not sure from what age duvets are recommended, not a good idea for tiny ones, I think.