"sexy" an appropriate word?

[codswallop]

my two year old recently told me he was a sexy boy in his new clothes..
no idea where this has come from..
is it appropriate/ coomonly used?

Oh and even the Oxford English accepts the alternate meaning to this supposedly evil word: "colloq. (of a project etc.) exciting, appealing, trendy."

If it's good enough for the Oxford English, it's good enough for me...

"Study after study has shown that men prefer curves and yet that hardly gets airtime" you say. Doesn't that show that the prepubescent form is still the strongest idea of beauty and desirability? I don't see many teenagers aiming for curves or for the over 50 look.

The OED may state that sexy can also mean trendy but the word is still transparently about sex.

I think the sexualisation of children is not a lot of fuss about nothing. You might think it isn't a problem in our society but I would disagree.

No. I don't believe the sexualisation of children happens as much as the media or people seem to want to believe. When it actually happens then I'm not particularly happy about it.

What I think is a fuss about nothing is a 2 year old using the word "sexy".

Oh, and the Victorians still had occurrences of rape and paediophilia - it just wasn't as well reported. And yet you can hardly call that a society where sexuality was hyped! People were scandalised if a woman exposed her ankle!!!!

So you'd prefer that all references to sex were completely suppressed around our children?! What is the message you are getting across to them? That to be sexy is bad? That when they're old enough they should just lie back and think of england?! Sex is only for procreation?!

I feel proud if my dh tells me I look sexy regardless of whether my ds is in the room or not. I think it's healthy that ds hears those sort of comments in a loving context. I want him to be happy with his body and sexuality when he's older. By shielding him even from a word used in a good positive context is not going to help him achieve that goal.

I see "sexy" as a far more positive word than many other words to do with sex out there. Again, I fail to see the fuss.

Well, if you consider your own son to be sexy in accordance with either the new or the old meaning of the word then then I am not suprised that you think this is thread is just a fuss.
I am glad that you look around and don't see notice society's sexualisation of children. No one "wants to believe it" - it's just out there, whether we like it or not, and how we behave as parents can condone it or not - it's up to every individual to choose.

The message I would like to get across is that sex is not for children

The message I would like to get across is that sex is not for children

Of course it isn't! But shielding them from a word isn't going to help them in that!

The issue is not about shielding them from a word, it is about the appropriate use of a word. Two year olds are not sexy in my book.
In the spirit of mumsnet, why don't you have the last word on this one...
Obviously it should be a sexy word...

It is only a word. I think it depends on your reaction to it. My 3.5 yr ds runs around the house before a bath saying "Look at my sexy bum!" or "Look at my pooey bum!" (although I must stress that it is not pooey!) My reaction is to laugh at him because he is being funny, should I then tell him pooey is a dirty word? No. Kids pick up things at nursery as well as at home and if you over react or tell them that sex is a bad word it is making a moountain out of a mole hill.Toddlers think anything to do with boobs and bums is funny, while they are this young let them continue to think it is funny.

My two have often referred to themselves as sexy - usually when they are all dressed up for a party - 'don't I look sexy' or similar - personally I can see nothing wrong with the word and I am with GeorginaA on this one.
Scoobysnax - personally, I think your last few postings have been more offensive that the word sexy.

I really think you are extremely niave saying that child abuse is sensationalised - I think the reaction you are thinking of by the media is that of concern and shock by normal people to such heineous crimes. Sarah Payne went missing and was consequently murdered the day my daughter was born. I think of her every July 1st and am just so sad that it happened. I think the media are not sensationalising things like this I wish there was more awareness of it going on - I am all for the naming and shaming approach. I am sure if there was a child abuser (can never remember how to spell peadophile ;0) living in your street you would be quite happy for the media to sensationalise it if it protected your child. I would be quite happy to pull the trigger on anyone who had interfered with a child (and almost got booted out of college for saying so).

As for the dressing sexy etc - that is a bit of a conundrum - think about it, abusers are attracted to the fact that the kids are kids - I am not sure that them looking sexy would have anything to do with it - it is the fact that they look like kids that floats the abusers boat - hope you are getting this. I do think though that it just looks completely inappropriate for kids to wear make up and tops that show their bellies and stuff like that at such a young age, to me it looks extremely cheap.

Sexy is just a word but at the end of the day I do think it has certain conotations that make it inappropriate to be used by a small child.

Tend to agree with all that say "sexy" is just a word. I don't think, at least I hope, the younger children say lots of words they do not have a clue about!

My ds aged 6 told me whilst watching TOTP2 that he thought a lady in Legs & Co was sexy. This I was worried about because he used it in the correct context however when we asked him what he meant he really didn't seem to know!

I think the word is used a lot in pop music so we don't stand much of a chance if we want them to remain totally innocent for a long time. My youngest aged 2.11 sings "we are the cheeky boys" shaking his bottom before jumping into the swimming pool ..... and he doesn't watch TOTP!

I have to say I think I'm with GeorginaA on this.

I tend to avoid these discussions - but so far it hasn't got TOO heated!

I'm with the camp that says it's just a word, and the issue of child abuse has been sensationalised.

By that I am IN NO WAY implying that it is not a serious offence and should be punished appropriately.

However, by far the majority of child abuse (both sexual and physical) takes place within the family. Sad but true. If you believed the press, you would think that there were paedophiles on every corner.

I think it is important to teach children not simply about stranger danger but also about "appropriate behaviour" (in the gentlest of ways), ie NOT to be persuaded to do anything that feels uncomfortable or wrong, or to "keep something secret". However, by over-emphasising the stranger danger aspect, we are running the risk of teaching our children not to trust ANY adults, whereas the majority of people out there are decent human beings!

I believe we have become overly paranoid - largely due to the sensationalist press - and that THAT is what is posing the greatest risk to our children - reducing their freedom to roam, to discover the world for themselves.... to have fun and LEARN!

Anyway, I think I have gone a wee bit off the subject, so I'll stop there!

I think the fact that it is splashed all over the media is good - it may be the only way that kids whose parents are abusing them realise that what is being done to them is wrong!!

I also think that we can explain things to our children about physical relationships, words etc but they have to also be taught that there is a time and place for things like that - do you get what I am trying to say - am being a bit of a dolt today!!

I still think that sexy is not a suitable word to describe a child, it does mean 'attractive in a sexual way', doesnt it? Of course if/when a small child says it ai wouldnt say anything and would hope and assume that it was one of those things they have picked up and will not go on using forever. But I dont think its right for an adult to say a child looks sexy, and its not right for kids' clothes to be decribed as sexy. So many girls clothes are, though. I do think that cropped tops and high heels and t shirts for kids that say Babe or Cheeky girl or whatever are copied from adult women's 'sexy' clothes styles and I dont think they are right for children.

No need for this to even me in the lightly simmered department of heated rows.

My friend reckons it is on a tv programme on cartoon network and that is where ds1 has got it from.

even be I meant

I'm with Soyabean on this one, and I agree with Scoobysnax. I don't think sexy is an appropriate word to be used about children.

I do believe that society is sexualising children - look at the girls clothes available on the highstreet and how can you deny it? There are so many aspects of society today that are forcing children to grow up far too soon.

I feel one of the biggest problems is that so much marketing is aimed at young children - it seems to be that they are considered fair game to advertisers. They are being exploited to make money, and they are bound to suffer for that. I think that the way society is heading with regard to this whole thing is very, very dodgy ground. I for one want my children to be able to spend as much time as possible being children rather than just miniature adults.

While I agree that it's best not to make a fuss if a small child uses a word such as sexy when they don't really know what it means, I also think that it's not an appropriate way of describing children and I agree that a lot of little girls'clothes are too "sexy" for want of a better word. I always feel a bit uneasy when I see a little girl in a skimpy outfit, and by that I mean those one-shouldered, belly-exposing type of tops, mini-skirts etc. Someone (sorry, can't be bothered to read it all again) said that pedophiles are interested in kids because they look like kids, but the point is that a child wearing a skimpy, reavealing outfit will be revealing her childish body. A pedophile's dream surely?

And another thing: the other day at the mother and toddler group one of the mums described my dd's trousers as sexy. I didn't say anything at the time but it struck me as an odd choice of word and rather inappropriate and now I wish I had said something, if only to ask her what she meant: the trousers are jeans with embroidery and a fringe at the hem, don't see how they could be seen as "sexy". Maybe the word sexy doesn't mean the same for her as it does for me?

here

I hate it when adults engage my DS (3) in conversation such as 'who's your girlfriend'.

I think there is a difference between 'dressing up' as Mummy, wearing Mummy's shoes make-up etc, and the 7 year old girls my niece plays with who wear real high heels to school, have their own make-up and put it on for parties, and learn 'sexy' dance routines. There is a big market in selling little girls dreams which belong to a world which is beyond their real understanding or particpation. My opinion / choice is not to like it.

Sorry, didn't realise this was an ancient thread.

Blu, ancient thread or not, I totally agree with you. And I am going to do everything I can to avoid my three dds having as their main ambition, a "steady boyfriend". I want them to have loads of fun and a good education. I was appalled to see a kids magazine recently (an offshoot for kids of a sensible weekly news magazine for adults) which interviewed kids as young as seven asking about their boyfriends and girlfriends at school. I was fuming, felt like writing to the mag, and telling them what plonkers they were. It was otherwise quite an interesting, educational kids mag.

Blu, ancient thread or not, I totally agree with you. And I am going to do everything I can to avoid my three dds having as their main ambition, a "steady boyfriend". I want them to have loads of fun and a good education. I was appalled to see a kids magazine recently (an offshoot for kids of a sensible weekly news magazine for adults) which interviewed kids as young as seven asking about their boyfriends and girlfriends at school. I was fuming, felt like writing to the mag, and telling them what plonkers they were. It was otherwise quite an interesting, educational kids mag.