"sexy" an appropriate word?

[codswallop]

my two year old recently told me he was a sexy boy in his new clothes..
no idea where this has come from..
is it appropriate/ coomonly used?

Our dd aged 2.10 months also says "I'm a sexy girl" and thinks it's fab when she has no clothes on, unfortunately my dh bought her the cheeky girls single......need I say anymore!!
other children I have cared for all at some time use the word and gain an interest in their naked bods

must have picked it up from your dh's comments to you - "my you look sexy in that nursing bra" for example!!

Both my ds have at one time or another thought it funny to parade around naked or in new clothes saying "sexy". It wasn't until my friend got quite annoyed with her ds when he said it that i questioned whether it was appropriate or not and i still don't know!
sorry, i know thats no help really is it!

My half brother now 10 used to say "I want to sex you" meaning kiss. His mum just ignored it and he grew out of it.

An old acquaintance used to say "hello sexy" to her 18 month old son. Made me cringe every time. IMO, it is inappropriate but I would be inclined to ignore it hoping he grows out of it.

thanks all - am not worried but just cant work out its derivation.. Certainly not about my nursing bra!

princesspeahead - great name by the way

have you sussed her?

My DD ran into the bedroom the other day when DH and I were having a cuddle (and no NOT that sort of cuddle) and placed her hands on her knees wiggled her bum and said 'Come and get it boys'.

She has not said again and I can only think that she saw or heard it somewhere and wondered what it would be like to just try it for herself. I haven't said anything to here as I think that all kids want to try something they have heard for the first time. I remember being about 7 and really wanting to say the F word though I had no idea what it meant, just experimenting I guess. Actually thats not a good example as I haven't stopped saying it.

I have to say that DH is already getting his gun and a chastity belt ready.

why thank you jasper, I'm rather fond of it!

my dd loves running around 'nudey' as we call it... she runs around pointing to herself saying, laughing... "look emmy nudey!" ...

i know what you mean codswallop though about appropriateness etc... probably picked it up from another child...

Adults use "sexy" inappropriately eg "that's a really sexy idea" - about a work project for example, when they really mean exciting.
I hate this, and mentally mark them down as people on no account to consider having sex with.
I think it's inappropriate for children to be called sexy and would discourage using the word about children.
Our society is hell bent on sexualising children (whilst hypocritically going mad about paedophiles) and I think we should try to fight this trend.

I wholeheatedly agree Scoobysnax, this is why I found my acquaintance a bit creepy when calling her son "sexy". It is sexualising children and tantamount to condoning paedophilies IMO.

I agree with scoobysnax. Have heard adults use it of children and it makes me feel really uncomfortable. What are they thinking? I dont get it, I certainly dont think those adults are thinking inappropriately but how can they think its OK?

I think a lot of the time kids are getting messages through music lyrics that we don't always realise. My son knows the chorus of a lot of songs simply from having the radio on in the car. I remember cringing at a kids talent show when at least 5 diferent little girls aged 5 or 6 were singing Spice Girls lyrics eg. if you want to be my lover,etc. It's not appropriate but while we think about what we say we don't always realise about other sources such as radio.

I'm sorry, I'm going to add the words of dissent here.

Okay. It may or may not be appropriate - but why the fuss? They're just words! Words that a 2 year old doesn't understand (except they probably understand that they get a rise out of mum and dad). They're going to hear all sorts of inappropriate words and repeat them with glee. If you react they're going to keep using them. Personally I'd be far more upset with them using "acceptable" words to wound and deliberately hurt someone else where they do understand the meaning.

And to suggest that societies sexualising of children (and I don't agree that happens btw...) condones paedophilia - that makes me extremely cross. You're saying society is to blame for an extreme minorities sick perversions?! How dare you let paedophiles off the hook for that!!! That's tantamount to saying a woman deserved rape for wearing a short skirt. You have no idea how angry that statement has made me feel.

Words are just words at that age - they don't understand. Hell, I remember belting out the words to Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax" at a young age. My parents must have had kittens, but I didn't have a clue what the words meant - it was just a catchy tune. Did that somehow corrupt me?! Excuse me, but I'm going to remain cynical about this one.

Oh and Maxster, you evil person - I've been humming that dreadful Spice Girls song all the time I've been cleaning up the kitchen. I hold you personally responsible :P

Scoobysnax - I totally agree with you.Having been the object of a paedophile's attentions when I was a little girl and consequently sexualised I abhor the use of 'sexy' for children.

GeorginaA
I do believe that society is sexualising children. The spice girls music was aimed at the under tens and the lyrics certainly contain sexual content. Eight year olds wear full make up and thongs to school etc etc
My post didn't assert that this caused paedophilia if you re-read it, and I am not making this claim, merely pointing out that I think society is hypocritical on this subject.

Of course young children don't always know the meaning of what they are saying. Does this mean you wouldn't mind if your child memorised a chunk of degrading porn and recited it regularly? Would that really have no effect on your child?
It is the easy way out to go along with all this, but I will certainly be discouraging my child from using the word "sexy" about herself for some years.

GeorginaA
I do believe that society is sexualising children. The spice girls music was aimed at the under tens and the lyrics certainly contain sexual content. Eight year olds wear full make up and thongs to school etc etc
My post didn't assert that this caused paedophilia if you re-read it, and I am not making this claim, merely pointing out that I think society is hypocritical on this subject.

Of course young children don't always know the meaning of what they are saying. Does this mean you wouldn't mind if your child memorised a chunk of degrading porn and recited it regularly? Would that really have no effect on your child?
It is the easy way out to go along with all this, but I will certainly be discouraging my child from using the word "sexy" about herself for some years.

LOL. I don't know what the schools are like round you but if you went to school round here with makeup on (secondary school - let alone primary!) you'd be in for a world of grief.

Little girls like putting makeup on for the same reasons they like dressing up or trying on mummy's high heels - because they want to be like mummy. They want to pretend to be grown up. This isn't society sexualising them - it's something some little girls like to do.

There's a 2.5 year old girl I know whose favourite activity is having her toenails painted when mum does hers because she feels pretty and special and something she shares with mum. Is that sexualising her?! I don't think so - it's an innocent activity.

I keep my makeup on a high shelf because I know what sort of mess my 2 year old son would get into if he got hold of it. If I let him play with it would that be sexualising him?! No, it would be him getting into a complete mess pretending to paint his face.

Kids always want to feel older and be noticed. Yes there's a balance there and we need to restrain the extremes. But making a fuss over your kid coming out with the word "sexy" is ridiculous.

I agree with scoobysnax. There's no excuse for paedophilia but if society as a whole is really so against it and really wants to stop it, then why are young kids encouraged to be so interested in sex and being sexual? Surely that can only lead to trouble by itself, even if there weren't sick individuals waiting out there.

We'll never totally get rid of perverts but if kids learn that their bodies are special and not to be permanently flaunted at other people, then maybe it wouldn't be so easy for them to be victims.

GeorginaA
"Sexy" means "like someone you'd want to have sex with". Are you still comfortable about the word being used by or about children?
I certainly wouldn't go mad if my young child innocently came out with the word, but I would definitely discourage it.
I am pleased to hear that your local schools do not allow make-up, but that is not universal, and of course out of school is regulated only by parents, many of whom, like you, see nothing wrong with makeup on young children.
Of course children want to play at being grown ups, but some aspects of being grown up are not suitable for children to imitate, and IMO sexualised behaviour and wearing make up and sexy clothes fall into this category.
After all, our society worships 15 year old child models with prepubescent figures as the epitome of sexual attractiveness. You might think this has no wider negative effects on society, but I think it does.

As people have already stated in this thread. Words evolve. People in speech are already using the word "sexy" for different connotations. Language evolves (and a good thing too or we'd still be using "thees" and "thous" - it wasn't that long ago everyone would be quite happy describing their child as "gay" meaning happy and bright. It then went through the meaning of "homosexual" and now it's starting to be used as slang for "bad".

I think the word sexy is a reasonably common word and it's not surprising that our children are going to hear it quite frequently. It's not offensive and the sort of word you think of filtering out of your talk around children (unlike most of the popular swear words for instance).

I hear a lot about the sexualisation of children in the media and we're all supposed to be terribly terribly fearful of it, but I see precious little of it in practise. I see kids dressing up wanting to feel older. I see young kids curious about their bodies and the different bodies of their parents or other young kids if they get the opportunity. They become aware of this on their own no matter how much you shelter them. Yes the media attention on paedophilia is daft too - there is not a paedophile on every corner waiting to grab you kid as they hysterically seem to want everyone to believe (and that does not mean I don't think precautions shouldn't be taken - I just think the media overhypes and sensationalises stories).

I'm sorry. I just think this is a lot of fuss about nothing.

Oh and society doesn't worship the prepubescent female. Women seem to think this is the case and are continually getting paranoid about it. Study after study has shown that men prefer curves and yet that hardly gets airtime.

If you still think prepubescents are the look - go look at any top shelf magazine - I think you'll find big tits sell far more copies. Incidentally, the biggest selling soft porn magazine in the country features women over 50!! Hardly society worshiping the prepubescent.