should i worry that dd 2.6 wont leave me?

[ilovetochat]

dd is very happy, confident child at home and also very physically confidnet. she is happy in the swimming pool and at gymnastics and runs round happily and plays with other children.
im a sahm so she is with me mostly. dp looks after her 1 evening a week when i go out and my mom and step dad babysit every 2/3 months and she happliy stays with them.
i put her in a creche once while i did an exercise class and she was fine. the following week she screamed till they fetched me back and i never returned.
today i needed to leave her in a creche where she knows the room and staff as she attends toddlers there and she screamed and clung to me and was the only child who wouldnt stay despite me being in the next room.
i am now worried that i have done soemthing wrong and she will scream when she starts nursery sept.
she attends lots of classes and once she knows the staff will chat to them and sit on their laps and gets attached.
i dont know whather to push her and keep trying to leave her till she gets used to it, or leave it till sept and hope she has matured/settled a bit more by then or keep her home till reception and presume she will be confident to be left then?
help.

Are you doing too much? You say 'lots of classes'-does she need more than a couple at that age?

My DS was like this, and I didn't push him to become more independent because any attempts made him worse.

He went to nursery and school without a backward glance and is now a very independent person at nearly 7.

I have to beg him to sit and talk to me for any length of time.
your dd is comfortable with the idea of what the school environment is like. I know my DS gained a lot of independence in those last months before starting school.

DD1 is naturally more independent and so I feel less 'responsible' for DS's clinginess than I did at the time if that makes sense.

Oops, part of a sentence disappeared there. I think Piscesmoon is right to think about the classes.

Your dd is still very young and having just a few environments to deal with might make her feel more confident about adding school to her repertoire.

thats it redlentil, i feel like ive made her clingy by being with her a lot. but i dont think being with my dd is a bad thing surely?

she does toddler group to play with kids, gym and swimming which she loves so i dont think thats too much. todays music class was a new class and the first one back after xmas so maybe too much for a first day?

how will she know the school environment?

Being with her a lot is good for her-it won't make her clingy-they do things when ready.
I would gently encourage her to do more things with other people-even if you are in the background.
Every group that you go to has a different DC dynamic and different rules and expectations-it can be a bit much for some DCs. I think that we tend to look at it from an adult point of view-which is quite different.
When she goes to nursery I would concentrate on just that, and make sure that she has plenty of time to 'chill out' and do nothing.

All that 'where should I sit, am I allowed to pick up the biscuits without asking, recognising faces' stuff is for your toddler a day's work.

It does sound as if she has quite a bit going on there. My dd1 goes to playgroup on a Tuesday for 2.5 hours and a music group with me for an hour on Thursday and that is quite enough for her, even though she is very confident. When we called in a few times to another bigger group to see a friend of mine, she hated it.

You could play schools with dolls once every few weeks, walk past a school at playtime and watch the children playing, notice children in uniform and in books, comment on how cool it will be to be able to read etc.

As long as she gets the idea it is somewhere where you play, sit and listen, eat your lunch, draw pictures etc. she will get the gist of it all.
Does she know any school-going children? Mine didn't by the way ...

My ds is similar age and exactly the same. I think at this age they are so young and it sounds like you're dpoing as much as you can to boost her confidence with people.

I am letting ds play with relatives and friends whilst I go upstairs for a few minutes to put washing away or go and cook dinner in the kitchen, just so he gets used to talking to people without me being there constantly.

I am not really worried though, I figure that every child is different and I know loads of 4 year olds who still scream and cry when they are left at pre school so it's common. Nothing you did or didn't do.

DS goes to lots of toddler groups and interacts well with others but just wantsme by his side which is fine by me, he's just a baby really.

I spend nearly all my time with him and he is rarely away from me but I was the same as a child with my mum and I didn't grow up to be too shy or too socially awkward (I don't think anyway! lol). They are still so young and whatever you decide she will be fine. I am waiting until ds is 3 in August and then starting him at pre school part time in the September.... hopefully by then his confidence will have grown a bit but I full expect there to be tears .

same here meandjoe, dd is registered to start nursery sept if she gets a place, 3 hrs a day and i will see how it goes.
maybe her days are too crowded sometimes, tomorrow i have nothing planned so will let her dictate how the day goes.
she knows 2 friends who are in nursery and reception and they both love school, she asks for school work and sits drawing and writing letters and has snacktime at toddlers where they all sit together and wait their turns and ask for more etc and she loves it so i think she will love the routine/structure of school but she just wants me with her at the moment.
maybe she will be more self confident by sept. i hope.
thanks for all the replies.