HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!controlled crying- my 10 m.o. DS is crying uncontrollably

[ranirani]

Hi ladies, I have started CC 4 nights ag out of desperation: my DS 10,5 m.o. wakes up 4-5 times at night wanting some drink: till 4 days ago we slept together in one bed and wnever he woke up or stirred moaning a bit I would immediately give him a bottle with water to quiet him down. The same during day naps: as soon as he cries we would run up with the bottle, he would drink it in his sleep and off to sleep again. As time went on it got even worse: instead of getting up ocassionally f1-2 times a night, it got to 4-5 times and 4-5 bottles of water!! he would not drink during day much , all at night. 4 nights ago i started it spontaneously, becase i just could not do it anymore. 1st night he cried 1,5 hours with breaks, then fell asleep and woke up in the morning cried againa bit and went to sleep. second night we put him to sleep, he cried for 30 mins and fell asleep, woke up twice at night , moaned for 15 secs and went to sleep again, woke up in the morning, cried for 45 mins and fell asleep again. 3rd night was a miracle- went to sleep after crying for 20 mins, woke up 3 times at night, cried for 1 min, and went to sleep all by himself. 4th nightm, last night, was more difficu;lt; cried for almost an hour, went to sleep, woke up few times but settled by himself and woke up in the morning, cried like hell and did not fall asleep. now I am trying to put him for his secod nap as he is ready to sleep and he is crying his head off! I just do not know what to do! he is beaving better in general during a day: lss moany, and more cheerful, but this crying business is really difficulkt to take! his voice is going down as well.... I just do not know what to do.... when I come in to calm him, he has cried himself into a state, and impossible to put down....
HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANY TIPS?????

Well she sounds like she needs some advice.

hi everyone, I am back have been busy so have not had time to log in. Well, we have some very good results so far (touch wood). My lovely DS is sleeping through the night in his cot with no water and whne he wakes up, he cries for 10 SECONDS and goes to sleep by himself. Sometimes he wakes up at 6 30 am and he goes to sleep around 10pm so ( as he usually sleeps for 10 hours at night) I thoink he needs to sleep some more. At 6 30 am he cries more than 10 seconds, so I let him cry for few mins and i foind that instead of letting him to cry and wake himself up totally I have to put him down and stay with him for few minsa - and he is asleep again. So far that has been our pattern. He sytill has 2 naps during a day but i make sure that he does not sleep too long , i.e. when he wakes up during his nap rather than try my hardest to put him to sleep again ( before it always involved bottle) I let him get up now and play.
Thank you, Missinglink, for your advice, we found this was much better approach than pure CC or cry out , because he does not cry himself in a state! My DH usually puts him to bed, well, both of us, but I leave the final part to him as he just loves it , easier for me I guess and he stays with my DS next to his cot with DS in his cot and "shhh" him and has his hand on DS's body to let him know we are here. Sometimes he falls asleep like that, sometimes not. After 2-5 mins like my DH goes down, and either my DS is asleep or he moans a bit and within 10 mins he is asleep nicely. During a night he settles back to sleep by himself within a minute. Well thas what we have been experiencing in the last few nights. I had one nigth when he actually woke up and cried for 10-15 mins and I had to get up and put DS into horisontal position again, but as soon as i did it, he would fall asleep. Sorry for TMI but we have had so much response so i feel like I need t let you know , ladies how we have been coping he also settles to sleep during day naps by himslef.
Thank you so much for all your advise , it has been helpful x x

sorry have to go to put him to sleep, will be back to talk aboiut water/milk debate x

so regarding milk or water. I appreciate all the comments and concern, but all babies are different thats why they do not give you manual book at the hospital along with your baby ( although there are few books out there and they are all different). As my clever DH pointed out to me the other day we cannot become fanatics of any routine, CC or No Cry solution, you just have to use your common sense and see what works for you and your child. Don't you think i haven't tried giving him milk at night instead of water? i know that first of all, babies' diet reqiuers lots of milk and also it sshould satisfy them for longer than just plain water. You know how many wasted bottles of milk I had ( dif kinds- follow up, grow up, milk with cereal bits in it, the heavy one, banana milk shake that my DS used to love when he was 5 m.o, I even tried cows milk, yes, I know some will be shocked as it is not recommended for under 1 y.o babies, but my whole family grew up on cows milk and we are fine and if my child does not want baby formula I have to try everything including cows milk). he does not like it(!), so now i have to smuggle it in his diet in form of cereals, pudding, you name it. At night I had water bottle and milk bottle ( formula) by my side and DS repeatedly refused to take milk one but would take water bottle, so i had no other choice but to give him water. It used to be half of bottle a night, but he had a cold with fever and teething and after that all of sudden it all started - 4-5 times at night with 3-4 bottles of water. And he would not drink during daytime as he knew he will catch up at night! so now he peacefully drinks all day and nothing ( touch wood) at night. And he is not hungry. Trust me I know when my son is hungry, he always lets us know. He eats 4-5 meals a day, he cant stop eating even when he is full, he eats till it is coming out of his mouth. And guess what, after he finishes his meal if we have dinner, he goes for our plates too! He is not huge size, he was born 7 pounds 10 oz weight wise and now his weight is nicely on the middle line. he is quite active child though, he started crawling when he was 5 m.o., walking at 10m.o.and now he is 10 months 3 weeks and he is running, wobbly, but running!!

Yes, I did need an advise in the first place, thats why I created this post, and thanks to all of you and especially Missinglink, it seems we are on the right track now.

Thank you, ladies, I will let you know how we are getting on.
Btw, he is in his cot now, my DH put him to sleep, he is not asleep yet, but have not cried yet. Will go and check on him later!!
(5 mins later)
He is ASLEEP , all by himself with no sound!!!yeaaaayyy!

Good for you! I had a little success with dd tonight as well tonight (she settled by herself at bedtime).
As to that water thing- it's just that he should drink water during a day, as he loses a lot of it ( eating, being active) and 4 bottles of water seem excessive, if not a bit dangerous(I don't know what's the limit for babies, but you can get ill as your kidneys can't cope).
I'm glad it's working out for you

thank , winnybella glad you had a success too
reg water thing, I think he was catching up on it maybe because of his cold- he did not eat or drink much for whole day. I took him to GP then, and DS apparently had a sore throat so did not want to drink or eat which made me worried as i did not want him to get dehydrated. GP said that DS was perfectly fine, apart from sore throat ( fever had gone down by then) and he was not dehydrated as he was drooling lots. Also i think he went through teething stage ( they say babies drink more as they drool lots when they teeth). Although he is almost 11 m.o. we did not have any teeth yet, but few days ago i felt in his mouth something sharp on the bottom jaw and now you can see a tooth is coming through!! made me sooo happy
anyway, good luck with CC or whatever technique you decide to use, just go with the flow

Congratulations, and thanks for letting us know how it was going [nosy emoticon].

At 10 months I had to do CC with my first as she was addicted to b/f, and got to the stage she wanted the breast qwithout the milk!!.

she was having 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks a drink (b/f) at bedtime plus I woke her at about 11pm ffor another b/f then she'd have another at 7am. She also had water/milk/with her meals. If she woke during the night I would then (if not feeding times) offer water and settle her back down so

first make sure he's having regular meals and liquids during day (Im not going to argue the milk v water thing - you can replace calcium with yogurts etc if you're worried about intake) make sure he has a consistent bedtime routine esp as you've stopped co-sleeping as he'll be used to that, then check him regularly - first at 5 mins then after 10 then after 15 if he's still crying then you need to consider the amount of sleep he's getting in the day. mine all had 2/3aps in day a short one 1/2 hr in monring and longer one after lunch poss another short one later depending on age I can't remember

2 other things to check if he's teething he will also wake up even if he had been sleeping well (look out for sucking on fingers/toys during day and biting down with a grimace and dribbling.
If he's cold this will also wake him - check down neck and hands.

remember if you've made a major change to his sleeping habits it could be a couple of weeks before he gets used to sleeping on his own and he may need a b it more reassurance. I would be expecting to get virtually no sleep for at least 3 days, while he starts to adjust.

sorry missed your response earlier glad to hear settling down

Thanks for coming back - so glad he is doing better.

thank you all it is nice to know that i am not alone when I need support and advise