How to persuade 2 year old to let me BF new baby?

[PacificDogwood]

I posted this in "Larger families" as well, but is maybe more appropriate here.

DS4 is expected in March when DS3 will be exactly 24 months old.
With approaching date of delivery I am getting more and more worried how on earth I am going to be able to BF DS4 whilst DS3 is still a total and utter mummy's boy: not only must I be in the same room as him (that I can manage), I have to literally do everything with him ie play with Duplo, watch him eat, sit on the bottom step with him. All v endearing but gah....!
BTW, he was BF to 13 months.

DS1 and 2 were only 12 months apart and DS2 was premature so for various reasons I exclusively expressed for him which, if nothing else, made life much more predictable. Also DS1 was Mr Independent and much more inclined to let me get on with it. DS1 and 2 are now almost 7 and 6, understand the whole new baby thing and were brilliant even when DS3 came along, so I have no concerns how they will cope (them being in school helps too ).

I have fed with baby in a sling before but only v occasionally and really did not like it. I am not somebody BFing comes easily to, particularly in the first few months as I have always had supply issues.
I am fully prepared to use CBeebies to its full potential and am preparing a "special toys/treats" bag which will only come out when I am BFing.

Any other ideas?? Please somebody have a magic easy-peasy solution for this. My unborn child's lifelong health depends on you all...

You sound apprenhensive that DS3 will be jealous.

How much preparation have you done with DS3 about the new baby?

With DS1 (similar age-gap, bf same amount as you) we did a lot of reading of books to prepare for the new baby and I showed him photos of him bf and told him lots of times that the baby would be feeding from me etc.

I didn't need any special toys or treats for when I was bf but I DID keep quite a few presents for when parcels arrived in the post for DS2.

I found bf easier 2nd time round and also found I could settle down with a book and read to DS1 while bf DS2.

Actually it meant I could do quite a lot of things with him because you have one hand free when bf.

Good luck.

Yes, jeaslousy is my worry.

He cannot stand it when one of the older ones sits on my lap - this does not happen very often, but he will come and try to pull them off or hit them!

I am aware that I have not spoken/read a lot with him about the new baby as I did with the other 2 when he was expected.
I will try and catch up on that... only 6 weeks to go to mat leave, that will clear some time.

Good idea about having some small pressies to make up for presents arriving for DS4.

I never managed the art of doing something else whilst BFing as I always needed 2 hands or sometimes felt I could do with a 3rd hand...

You mention CBeebies and I must say I made full use of it. Whenever possible I would sit in front of it with dd, 2, and feed her newborn brother. Dd also used to feed her dolly while I was feeding ds - not sure if that's going to work for you as I don't imagine you are over run with dollies with three dss.

Can you get a good midwife to show you some other positions to breastfeed in? I used to feed in what was described as a rugby ball position. Baby supported on cushions next to you and curved round your side i.e. feet round your back. This leaves half a lap for older child to sit on while you feed.

Also, I found if I put a small chair next to me, older child could sit on that next to me and I could read stories. Mine was older though and loved being read to and I wouldn't have had so much time to read if I hadn't been breastfeeding.

Lillian, my older 2 were 4 and 5 when DS3 was born and we have photographs of both of them sitting next to me feeding baby whilst they feed their teddies: t-shirts up, tummy-to-tummy, cradle hold . So, no dollies required!

secrets, yes, I am familiar with the rugby hold. Good point about half a lap being free like that

It is becoming clearer and clearer in my mind that I have to start reading more with him, both about babies and just reading in general.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, keep them coming, ladies!

CBeebies & DVDs an absolute must - don't know how I would have managed otherwise.

Agree with secrets re: different positions - I also need 2 hands alot of the time but find rugby ball gives alot more freedom to use one hand for something else (reading books, cuddles etc). I find a V-pillow makes it easier to free up a hand too.

I spend alot of time sitting on the floor feeding DD whilst DS plays with duplo/jigsaws etc, also feed her at the table whilst DS spends forever and a day eating his lunch/dinner .

I was seriously worried about jealousy when DD was due (DS was 2.10) as he used to (and still does) get really cross if I spoke to or played with other toddlers, but he's been fab. Obviously there have been a few times where he's got fed up with having a baby around, but on the whole he's taken it all on board really well. In fact quite often if DD is crying he will say to me "

Awww, MrsKitty, your DS sounds sweet!

As ever, it is good to hear that I am NOT the first woman in the history of the world who got through this. God bless MN!

pacific Yes, he has his moments .

I found the best thing was to just try my best to make feeding DD a normal part of the day, and try not to have it interfere with DS's activities (hence the sitting on the floor alot!) - Although do remember how hard the first few weeks of feeding can be and have some additional support on hand if possible to keep your DS occupied.