DS driving me insane......

[wasabipeanut]

My DS is 2.4 and is being a complete pain at the moment. He's started hitting, biting, slapping and shouting. Daytime sleeps are an utter nightmare - he will destroy his room before eventually passing out if he does at all.

I would drop daytime naps happily but the aggression seems to be directly related to how tired he is.

Getting dressed is painful, getting out the door damn near impossible.

We do all the naughty step stuff but this has been going on for weeks now and what we are doing clearly isn't working. What we do is say "no - we don't hit/bite/whatever" and warn him that if he does it agai he goes on the naighty step which he invariably does. He always apologises but then just does it again.

He's driving me mad. It may or may not be coincidence but I'm nearly 37 weeks pg with number 2 and the energy I have to run round after him to get dressed and the like is severely diminished. Plus we're stuck inside because of this f**king snow.

I am gettng so close to losing my rag and walloping him which I don't want to do at all but when someone is kicking and slapping at you and you have this huge bump as well it's really very difficult to maintain that Tanya Byronesque level of calm.

What we're doing obviously isn't working. Does anyone else have any ideas????

This is not based on anything other than my own personal experience but I would say try to turn this around by being ott nice to him calling him a lovely boy,being so good etc,mums boy,quite at random and when he is remotely ok.
Bring him on side with you and give him extra attention for any small good things he does while minimising the telling offs for the bad stuff to "We don't hit because we don't like it do we?"etc.

I think he sounds very hard work and you're right of course the snow and your pregnancy won't be helping.....

all i can suggest is trying a more non confrontational approach with everything. With my ds rather than the 'naughty step' I had his room as his thinking space. He would go there for any act involving physical aggression. Being removed from my company is punishment enough for anyone, I figure . He gets the message that you won't tolerate that behaviour and don't want to be with him when he hits.

Also, for getting dressed etc, I used a million other strategies other than just telling him as I found my ds was very oppositional and would always be ready to say "no". I used to challenge him to a race, or use lots of humour, or goofiness, or even reverse psychology eg DS whatever you do, do NOT get dressed...etc.

I think with a child who is not compliant, you do need to be a lot cleverer than just telling them to do stuff and punishing them if they don't. Because life is just no fun like that. And kids this age have a fantastic sense of humour and are still young enough to be manipulated like that without realising that's what you're doing.

My ds is the same as your although thankfully not aggressive... just screams and thrashes about when time to get fressed. Argues over everything including where we are going, what shops we are going in, what he will wear, bath time, everything imaginable he will refuse or argue with which is knackering...

There's a whole thread started by me about me struggling with a 2 year old just a few threads below this one! I think if you read it, it will enable you to see that it is normal behaviour and may put things into perspective a bit. It is still such hard work though and it just never stops does it?! Constant battles which is hard and was actually driving me slightly loopy and making me very on edge and tense which was not helping.

The sense of humour thing and putting him in his room wouldn't work for us. DS is very head set in his argument and distraction generally doesn't work but I have found that the reverse psychology often works. I would stick with the naighty step for a bit longer because although it seems like it's not working, a few weeks isn't really long enough to know. Don't forget a lot of the time he simply won't be able to control his out bursts so some tantrums etc with certain children are inevitable no matter how consistant you are.

My ds will NEVER sleep in his cot during the day and doesn't seem to know how to switch off until night time but I have noticed his crying and tsantrums are far worse when he doesn't have a nap so I have resorted to (ridiculous I know!) wrapping him up, putting him in the pushchair, walking round the block a couple of times til he goes to sleep then bringing him home and leaving him to sleep in the buggy. Hard work in this weather but nothing else works... is there any other compromise regards naps that you could make rather than him trashing his room before he goes to sleep?

Anyway, just wanted to wish you luck and tell you that there are a whole thread of us who know exactly how you feel.

Hi Smiley,

I read your thread after I had posted mine and wished I had read it before! I know in my heart that his behavior is perfectly within the boundaries of normal - and at least 10 times a day he does something so funny or sweet that I melt completely. I just have to hang on to those times when he is being a little strop monster.

I think my rant has a lot to do with being massive and uncomfy/hormones/snow/DS's nursery being shut etc.

Thanks for advice all....