3 1/2 year old dd threatening to hit/punch and other types of violence. Help

[suiledonne]

My dd1 has recently started threatening me with violence when she doesn't get her own way.

In the past few days she has said she will 'wreck me up', 'burst my tummy' and 'knock out my eyes'.

I find it very upsetting. We don't smack her, we don't speak like this and she only watches age appropriate TV so no idea where it is coming from.

She is with me all day. The only person other than DH and I that ever looks after her is MIL and she definitely doesn't threaten in this way.

Luckily I am able to calm her down/distract her/assert myself so she never carries it out.

It is worrying me though. It surely isn't normal behaviour, is it?

I think it is normal behaviour; it's a three year old grappling with a growing sense of the wider world and testing what effect she can have on others, by testing the person she trusts the most. It is upsetting but probably not a reflection on your parenting or her personality.

My DD (3.10) has just come through a violent phase, where she actually hit, bit and kicked me. I always asserted that it was wrong and that I didn't like it but didn't "punish" as such. She has now moved into a very affectionate phase, "I love you mummy, I'm never going to hit you any more". She still threatens when she is frustrated but knows that it is wrong.

Hang in there. Three is a tough year, I think.