Will ds really be ready for school in just 8 months?!

[GoldenGreen]

It's just struck me recently that ds will be off to school in September and it's not that far away...

He is 3.7 and I think a pretty "normal" 3 year old - pretty lively and curious, quite sociable with kids his age. But there are a few things that he can't manage - he still needs a trainer seat for the toilet (terrified to sit on the loo without one), can't wipe his bottom, can't get shoes and coat on and off easily.

He goes to nursery and it's a lovely place but seem to do very little in the way of formal sitting at tables doing writing etc - which is what I wanted for him but now I'm wondering if it will really prepare him for school...will he be able to sit and concentrate in a classroom? Or is Reception more play based, like preschool?

I will obviously work on helping him become more independent over the next few months but has anyone else had these worries and what happened in the end?

Does he go to the toilet at nursery? The school may have small toilets for the infants which might make it easier.

The reception curriculum is now very play based. And they do grow up in a short time frame.

I would (gradually) work on the shoes and coat thing, maybe buy easier to put on styles for him to wear next autumn.

I too wonder about dd2 (will be 4 end of August)

She is independent with dressing and all aspects of toiletting etc but I can't imagine her sitting listening for prolonged periods

She's not that interested in 'mark-making' - likes colouring-in and 'drawing' but has no idea at all about letters, how to write or even attempt to write her name

Will be interesting

Am trying not to compare to dd1 who is Autumn born and was nearly 5 when she started, and with hindsight was totally ready for school

Oh yes, Reception have those tiny diddy little toilets so hopefully your ds will be ok?

DS1 will also be starting in September, and is currently at preschool of the school where he will hopefully be going to reception. From what I have seen when visiting the school, and talking to other parents, there is very little in the way of sitting at desks for long periods in reception - it's more about short structured activites, mixed with "free play" time.

re: toilets - yes, nursery have those little toilets which he is ok with - so if Reception have the same that will be fine!

Good plan on the shoes & coat, will get him shopping nearer the time and see what he can cope with.

Interesting what you say about mark-making, notnowbernard - ds is quite interested in drawing, and he loves to ask me to write down words and numbers for him but absolutely refuses to try himself and just says he can't do it. He can recognise his name written down but that's it. I've not pushed him at all - I am hoping that in a classroom he'll just go along with all the other children having a go.

thanks JemL - I've had very little experience of reception classes so that's reassuring

Don't worry GoldenGreen - eight months is a long time when you are only 3.7 and there will be lots of others just like him. You've got plenty of time to practice all the things you are worrying about - I'd concentrate on helping him to be physically independent - clothes and shoes he can get on and off easily, bum wiping, eating etc, there's plenty of time for sitting in a classroom when he actually gets to school. I think we all have these worries when the first one goes off to school - I'd say make the most of his last baby days before then, they grow up so quickly once they start.

thank you - the "last baby days" idea has made me well up a bit - what will I be like on the first day!

well we're in Scotland so you start much older anyway and you can also defer the younger ones (Dec-Feb birthdays) so that instead of being the youngest at 4.5 they will be 5.5.

DS is a March birthday so will be one of the oldest at 5.5 when he starts this August. This year he would not have been ready at all- he just wanted to play and I felt he would have been too little, even though he is clever, socially mature, responsible and articulate- he couldn't sit still and showen no interest in reading/writing etc.

He now can't wait for school, said how he will love it when he learns to read and write. He does fabulous drawings and writes his name properly on every one.

Mind you I think 5 is too little for a full school day and 4 is just ridiculous but that's our education system for you!

I think you need to concentrate on things like toilet training (re seat) & dressing etc at home. I work in a Reception class and it's obvious that alot of kids just don't ever do simple things like put their own shoes on at all! They don't know where to begin?? Personally ( as a mother of 5, 4 boys 1 girl) I consider it to be my job to teach those basic skills to my children, and it's really more important than being able to sit at a table & try to write(altho I won't deny that helps too). It boosts confidence no end when a child can actually put on their own shoes, do up their coat, open their lunch box, know what a fork is for at lunchtime etc...... Children DO start very young, especially boys and need all the help they can get. Your son will cope, but with your support at home first (don't get me wrong - I'm not implying you don't 'teach' your boy these things at home but sometimes we mums find it quicker/easier if we do it for them rather than making them try themselves!)

I know what you're saying Barnum - yes, sometimes it is easier to do it myself! He went through a phase of enjoying putting his own trousers on, etc and then after a bit refused to do it anymore - I know I need to be more persuasive & agree it's hugely important for confidence.

He has always been just a little bit slower generally with the physical milestones (though always good at feeding himself!) & more ahead with his speech & things like that.

I guess deferred entry is something I can ask about- the school I'm hoping for has hinted it's possible for some children to start in the Jan - as 4 does seem very little for a full school day - but then I think it would be nice for him to start in September along with the majority.

I think you're right about starting with the majority - it helps enormously re friendships etc which by that point will have become established for those who started in Sept. My 3rd son was a mid July birthday and extremely immature with it and I seriously considered deferring his entry. But when it was made quite clear that he would just have to pick up from where ever in the school year he started I realised that would be even more difficult for him. Schools vary in their policy re deferred entry but I should check well before you decide to ensure that he won't actually miss what has happened since Sept and just be expected to go straight in and do what the others would be doing but without the benefit of the previous term(s). I feel the whole school system sometimes seems to be geared totally against small children!!! Altho the curriculum is supposed to be more play based in reality that isn't totally the case as they are expected to achieve certain (quite a lot of)outcomes etc. It's sad when you watch kids trying to do something which they don't have the skills for and many of them probably need to spend another year at playgroup or nursey!! Or (shock) more time at home with mum teaching them basic skills and enjoying the kind of activities that we did when we were kids! ie no X Box, v little TV, more outdoor time (even just walking) etc.
Sorry! Rant over now

Golden - we've got the same boy - I don't think mine will be ready in 8 months when I look at him - he looks like a baby - talks like a baby (ie his voice not his words), cannot use a knife, cannot for the life of him dress himself (and he'll be having swimming lessons in reception!).

Knows his phonic letters but not interested at all in mark making. No art from him whatsoever but he knows every dinosaur.

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.

I'm so glad to see this, that I'm not the only one that feels this way! DS2 will be 4 at the end of July, and he is not great with a fork at all (much less a knife!), cannot dress himself (although he is able to undress somewhat), and still is not potty trained - although we are getting much closer to that. One of our grandchildren is two weeks older than DS2, and in his area, he is scheduled to start in January 2011. But DS2's school has him scheduled for September 2010. Why the difference?? I'd be much happier and think he'd be better off starting in January instead, but it seems it's not an option. I just think reception starts too young....

My DD goes to nursery class (half day) at School and started when she had only just turned 3. They were expected to know how to use the toilet on their own, get coats and shoes on, wash hands, and if possible get changed for PE !

She was fairly independant as had gone to private creche for a year or two, but certainly wasn't to this standard. However she has managed fine and the teachers and teaching assistants help if needed.

She is very pleased with herself at the moment as she has recently learned how to peel her own banana!!!

I think if you can encourage your DC at home, than that is great. We are currently working on taking t-shirts on and off on her own (she is now 3y5m). We have cracked trousers, socks, knickers, shoes, but t-shirts (and tights) are a hard one .

I still regret teaching DS2 (3.5) to remove his own t-shirt. Nothing that boyo likes better than running around starkers

purpleturtle - LOL - they always seem to learn how to undress faster than they learn how to dress - much more potential for embarrassment, I suppose!

We are trying to work with DS on these things, but I don't want him to feel like he is being bombarded constantly with "learn this! learn this!" so I try to focus on a few things at a time. Right now, the big one is potty training!

Agree with all that's been said. I think it's important to remember that there are lots of mums & DC in the same boat! My DD starts in Sept too - she's a May birthday and is fairly up to speed on most things. Having experienced 4 boys before her I would definately say that boys seem to be harder but they do get it eventually - altho it takes till Yr 2 for some! I work in school so I can see both sides. I think generally too much is expected of them but at the same time some poor children seem to have so few life skills at all that you almost have to tell them when to breathe! I had one child (a boy!!!) who was unable to answer when asked if he'd finished his lunch - I still don't whether he didn't understand the question or what the problem was!

Glad to see a few others feeling the same (well not glad but you know!). Just going to take it one thing at a time. Just thought that he does want to be like bigger children so perhaps seeing others being independent might spur him on?

oh but golden mine keeps saying he's big boy and is adamant he wants to grow up - when when I ask him to do one tiny single thing - no 'I'm a baby and want to stay that way'.Agh

I'm now reading 1-2-3 magic discipline thingy - as I want to crack on with getting him back on track. The book is being read by practically every parent at our nursery as we've all noticed how aggressive our los have become since starting preschool - bless 'em.