Extremely clingy 15wk old- please help!

[littlewifey]

I'm hoping some people can give me some advice. My 15 wk old DD is extremely clingy and will only be held by me or my DH- and sometimes if she's really upset even he can't comfort her. This has been happening from about wk 10 and I'm really starting to worry about when I go back to work (2 more months). My mum and MIl are looking after her for a day each and have been practising trying to calm her when she cries, however DD is having none of it and just screams hysterically, almost making herself sick until she is passed to me. Any tips?

this sounds normal and will pass unfortunately only 15wo
my sub three yo is now acting as though she is 35

agree, it's normal and it will pass, but when? i can't say

do you HAVE to go back to work? is it full time? do you work close to home?

Yes, unfortunately have to go back to work, as can't survive on DH wage alone. However, am only going back 3 days a week. Not close enough to home to be able to pop home during the day though :-( Really worrying that she will spend the whole 3 days each week distraught :-(

she won't be distraught, she'll settle

whether you will is another matter

Thanks Ronaldinhio. It's very stressful this parenting lark isn't it Doesn't help that my mom keeps saying I've spoilt her and this is why she's clingy- makes me feel guilty!

yeah, yeah spoiling babies...heard it all before sounds like you are doing well and another few weeks will see a big difference

you haven't spoilt her! it's what babies are like.

i would be worried about it too, if i were in your position. it's horrid to think of your baby upset.

would it be possible to do half days, but more often? would you feel happier leaving her for a shorter period?

it's very hard

No, would have prefferred to do half days but not possible as I'm a teacher so school wanted consistency for the children in a job share. Also we wouldn't have had childcare available as both parents work and are dropping days to help out. Really hope she does settle Wouldn't bother me at all her being clingy, if I didn't have to return to work, as I love the fact that she knows I'm her mommy and spending time with her.

My DD is 16 weeks and exactley the same, but I am lucky that I don't go back until June. It is understandable that she is clingy after all you and DH look after her 24/7, you do everything for her, you are her normality. Just think how much DD has changed in the last month and how much further she will progress in the next month and then the next. Try not to worry as things could all change by then, in the mean time continue with her getting used to being with MIL and Mum.

Just a thought my MIL is fantastic with my little girl, but she is very chilled out and matter of fact and very confident with DD, where as DD screams everytime I had her over to my mum, who always looks petrified (Mum not DD), like she is going to break her or drop her. DD sees them both about twice a week so familiarity is not an issue so I have been wondering if DD picks up on how they are feeling. Maybe your DD is the same, if they have struggled with her in the past maybe they are tensing up and she is picking upon it.

Thanks NickeeS, I would def agree with you there as my mom does tense up and you can see that she's worried. I prob add to the problem too as I find myself apologising in advance for DD crying when handing her to ppl!!

Ds2 has always prefered my company but can be settled by DH when I'm out of sight then the minute I come back in the room starts crying again. Might be an idea to practice popping to the shops etc to see how it goes when you are not available.

Its a shame you missed The Baby Whisper! Had just the same case on yesterday!

Basically the mum had to provide LOADS of distraction via toys and start with 1 minute away from baby, then build up to 2,3,4,5 mins, then leave with nanny for 1/2 hour etc.

Tracy Hogg also thought the baby may be board?? It did take a week and the baby was SUPER clingy......screamed when mum walked to one end of the room etc.

Good luck

Thanks tryingtobe, I will youtube the baby whisperer and see if anything is on there about it. Also very good idea Jollyma, will def start popping out for short times. I have tried being in the other room, but do think DD can sense that I'm in the house lol

this sounds very familiar to me!! Dd has been clingy from about the same age (you don't want to know how old she is now!!) She's clingy at home but worse when we're out. The worst thing is I can't go to the toilet in cafes, she just screams if my friends hold her, so I have to take her with me in a sling.

Have just gone back to work and I don't have a choice either so dd has to live with it. She screams when I leave but she's fine as soon as she realises I'm not coming back and she has to make do with my mum. It's certainly not a tension issue for us, my mum is very comfortable with her.

I've been told that clingy baby means Mummy is doing a great job!!

Haha, the toilet thing is just like my DD!! she also hates her pushchair and screams after about an hour in it because she wants to come out and for me to hold her!!!

I had a really really clingy ds2. So we went to the playgroup, and played "pass the baby" - lots of cm's and friends I knew, we got him used to being passed round and he actually (tho not at first!) enjoyed the different faces and being chatted to and played with. It was difficult for both him and me to start with, but became a lifesaver after a couple of weeks.