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Inconsistent Development in a 12month old Boy... (long, sorry)

14 replies

SkaterDad · 07/01/2010 15:36

...when should I get worried enough to take him to the doc, as there's no mandatory 12month check where I am.

So my little boy is 12 months old and a few days, and I'm a bit worried about the way his development is tracking; if you gave me a list of milestones that I had to tick for his age he'd hit all of them, but it all seems so inconsistent - he seems to do something one day, and is then unable or unwilling to do the same thing the next day.

Overall, he's been crawling like a demon since 9months, and pulling up to stand since 9months and a day although he can only walk with his block trolley; babbling consonants since about 4months and in the last two weeks has been able to say 'DaddaDaddaDadda' when I'm around, 'Mammy' less regularly, and can sign for 'milk' consistently, as well as making clicking sounds with his tongue when he anticipates food.

He'll raise his arms to be picked up, and this morning fetched his own cup out of the cupboard and gave it to me to fill it because he was thirsty. He can stick two blocks of lego together and feed himself (inefficiently) with a spoon - although he'd prefer to offer it to us to eat. He's more likely to just go get something he wants than point to it though, although he pointed at his mum's privates when she was getting dressed this morning...

But here's the rub - when he was born he would avoid eye-contact at all costs after the first day, just was not interested in locking gazes at all. This resolved after maybe two and a half months, although I'd still describe his eye contact as 'fair' rather than good - although he seems better with strangers than me.

Secondly, the number of phases we've been through of him taking a week where he refuses to respond to his name, followed by a week of complete attention to our every word must be up to half a dozen now. He has become obsessed with clapping and then 'put it away' again on two or three occasions since he was six months old, and goes through similar phases with waving and so forth.

I know he understands words, and he generally responds to direction quite well, or at least appropriately (i.e, I'll ask him for a kiss, and he'll shake his head no, or turn it away before I even get close because he knows what's coming.) But again, whether he actually carries out the action prescribed ('give teddy a cuddle') or not seems completely random day to day.

Lastly (I promise) his emotional reaction to his mother (with whom he's spent every day of the last year with) is up and down - yesterday she arrived to pick him up from his third day at nursery and was blanked for ten minutes, whilst today apparently he had to be torn away from her screaming his little heart out.

So is he a normal, albeit independently minded little boy; or should we be more worried that his behaviour isn't on a more steady developmental trajectory... I have a nagging feeling that something's 'not quite right', you know?

OP posts:
JJ1471 · 07/01/2010 17:28

My son is coming up to 12 months and you could have been describing him, in some cases your son can do things mine cant (sticking lego together, words with real meaning). I thought he was normal, you've got me worried now!

SkaterDad · 07/01/2010 18:24

oh, sorry, I don't mean to worry anyone - and I understand sticking lego together is generally a 14month thing - so I wouldn't worry about that.

it's just the up and don't nature of his responses, reactions and behaviour towards everything that bothers me... maybe it shouldn't.

OP posts:
JJ1471 · 07/01/2010 18:43

I know that whenever my son has learned something new e.g. waving, pointing, blowing raspberries etc. he has done it constantly for a week or so and then not repeated it for ages sometimes.

Swagger · 07/01/2010 18:52

It sounds a little to me that you have got yourself a bit worried and because of that you are 'testing' him constantly. My DS had a speech delay and I spent a lot of time asking him questions, testing him, frantically worrying and he seemed to get worse. As soon as I backed off with all the questions and commands he started to relax and develop at a steady pace. DD was the same when I picked her up from SIL. She more than often would cry and try and get away from me . I think she was just overwhelmed having been away from me all day that she didn't know how to cope with her feelings when I arrived to pick her up. To this day (she is 6) she hates saying hello or goodbye. When friends go to leave she will suddenly be in a different room. These moments are very 1:1 and some children just find that more difficult for whatever reason. Seems like he doesn't really know how to deal with it so is trying out a few different things

winnybella · 07/01/2010 19:43

He sounds totally normal.
My DD could say mamama at six months, then didn't say any consonants til she was 9 months old.
It's normal for babies to learn one thing, do it for a few days and then 'put it away' and turn to acquiring a new skill.
You need to relax, I don't see anything in the behaviour you described that would warrant any worry.
Does he smile and laugh?

winnybella · 07/01/2010 19:47

Also my DD did the same thing with waving: she could do it few months ago ( she's 11mo), then stopped for a while and just recently started doing it again, unprompted and saying bye bye when she sees someone leaving.

SkaterDad · 07/01/2010 21:28

Thanks for the responses everyone, yes winnybella, he'll smile and laugh - at peekaboo or being chased or being held upside down or me and his mother having a kiss or cuddle in front of him. Sounds like i might have got myself all worked up over nowt...

And @Swagger, yep, we're probably testing him too much and maybe he almost knows that!

Thanks for putting me at ease everyone.

OP posts:
Chaotica · 07/01/2010 21:36

He sounds like a genius compared to my DCs at the same age (I think the inconsistency you describe is pretty normal).

tethersend · 07/01/2010 21:36

I have a DD of the same age- apparently, they have 'taking in' phases where they just listen and watch for a week or two, acquiring skills, and then have a week or two of demonstrating and practising their newly acquired skill.

Perhaps this could be what your DS is doing? He sounds normal to me

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 07/01/2010 22:34

Skater, your son sounds utterly normal, utterly delighted and utterly adorable.

It sounds like the things you're finding to be most up and down are responding to commands, responding to his name and emotional reactions to his parents, right? All of those things can be voluntary. I mean, a kid rarely forgets entirely how to walk, but s/he can certainly decide not to pick up a toy after being asked.

I think your son just has moods and opinions and preferences, like we all do. Rather like my thirteen month old daughter, who knows perfectly well what 'use gentle patting' means, and chooses to remove clumps of the cat's fur nonetheless.

winnybella · 07/01/2010 22:42

lol tortoise- you just described my DD and our unfortunate cat!

CirrhosisByTheSea · 07/01/2010 23:13

hmm...I have to break it to you...I think your son is....

a boy

Sounds totally normal and exactly the same as my ds at this age, although my ds wasn't walking at all at 12mo. The responding sometimes and not others stuff, the not giving kisses or masses of adoring eye contact, the not giving 'teddy a cuddle' to order.....I think you are just discovering that yes babies even just this age have their own thoughts, and ideas, and will go their own sweet path in life - and, (putting on my hard hat as about to make sexist generalisation) I believe from my experience that boys are less eager to please than girls and thus can seem to be a little more 'distant' or unpredictable etc

cat64 · 07/01/2010 23:34

This reply has been deleted

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pooexplosions · 07/01/2010 23:39

Development isn't steady, its an ongoing process but its never what you would call steady. He sounds perfectly normal to me (I'm an ex childcare worker with a diploma in childcare and a degree in psychology if that helps, and s mother of 3 boys), and if anything I'd say he's top of the scale with early milestones.

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