Is your toddler aggressive? when did he/she grow out of it?

[Clare123]

I know people say it's a stage, but it's been a long stage with us (on and off for 8 months now). He always gets time out/told off and it has little effect really. I just can't understand why he does the things he does - for example he was playing with another dad in the park and then kind of kicked him (not hard, but definitely did it), but it was not out of anger. When he walks past his sister he always hits her - again, not cross, just a little smack (that doesn't really hurt her), but even so he should not be doing it!! In fact, it is often when he is having fun and happy but he just can't seem to help himself. I just don't understand. Anyone with any suggestions?

Also, when did your LO grow out of it?

My LO is 2.5

Also, he does things - like he tries to ruin other children's games. At play group today he walked into a train track a little boy was playing with. The other little kid just sat there quietly and my LO just ruined his game.

Does your LO ever do stuff like that?? My husband reckons it's for attention, but I give him so much attention and how can I ignore it when ruins other kids games.

about 6 but my son was probably more extreme

You are not alone, Clare123. My DS2, who is also 2.5yrs old, is behaving in exactly the same manner.

My DS2 also gets plenty of attention from me, but seems hell-bent on hitting/slapping any child at pre-school or anywhere else we go. It is so embarrassing.

His is never angry when he attacks - he seems to think it is amusing.

Like you, I've been told he'll grow out of it. I just hope it is sooner rather than later.

My DS1 was quite like this. Was a real shover at playgroups, in the park etc and I was always on tenterhooks going out anywhere, used to go home and cry so many times. I fretted about him constantly, and found his behaviour mortifying. I also felt resentful when people said it was for attention - he got PLENTY of good, positive attention.

Anyway, he is now 3.10 and is, generally speaking, absolutely delightful. I now happily take him to playgroups, the park etc. He goes for playdates or has friends round here and they go upstairs to play without me having constant heart-in-mouth. And he has been like this for several months now - gradual improvement from age 3. Hope it's the same for you.

I used to mainly try to ignore bad behaviour (unless it was something really awful - in many situations with other people's children, I think you do have to be seen to be doing something, like time out or whatever) and give tons of praise for good behaviour. Also did stop going to playgroup for a while, as I was finding it too stressful, but have been going for a few months again, and it's great - I actually get to drink tea and chat to friends, rather than having to shadow DS1 around. He'll get there, but it was a long phase for us, too - chin up!

Thank you so much for replying. It is so nice to hear I am not the only one!

Mog - gosh I do hope so! I feel that heart-in-mouth feeling whilst with friends all the time! I am praying he will change and grow out of this. I am going to try to ignore some of this behaviour, esp with his sister, as she is a bit of a drama queen so will react to anything.