My 3.4 year old dd has always been very stubborn and headstrong. We didn't have many problems getting through the 'terrible twos' and she has always responded quite well to reason. However, in the last few weeks her behaviour has gotten out of hand. I have always had problems getting her to sit in time out. She thinks it is a game, and will run back and forward for up to 90 minutes at a time, before eventually giving in and sitting down. I have always tried to avoid getting to the stage where she needs to go to time out by distraction etc which up till now has worked pretty well.
DS was born on 1st December, and dd was very excited about this. Her behaviour at nursery was pretty bad until he arrived, and she took to him like a duck to water. She is always kissing and hugging him and telling him she loves him. DH and I have made a conscious effort to spend more time with her since DS arrived, so that he barely gets any attention at all. DH was off over Christmas and New year so she has had a lot of 1 on 2 time with us, and got a bike for christmas which is what she really wanted.
But in the last 2 weeks, she has turned into the devil child. She runs amok, tells us she wants to be naughty and go to time out, and has started coming out of bed at night. For the last 4 nights I have either spent the entire evening putting her back to time out, or back to bed. Last night was the worst. She came back from nursery and watched some TV while I prepared the tea, we told her to put the tv off (often a battle ground), and she did this calmly and came to the table. She messed around with her food (which she has been doing for the last 2 years, just to get a reaction), then started saying 'I'm going to be naughty'. She hit us repeatedly, ran around giggling manically and stripped off. I calmly kept returning her to the naughty spot and she gave in 90 mins later. Meantime she missed her bath with her brother, and I just dressed her for bed and told her she had missed her stories too because she was messing around. She apologised and we discussed how her behaviour was silly and how she was missing out. 20 mins later she was out of bed, threw a complete tantrum that lasted until nearly 10pm, with us calmly returning her to bed regularly. At 1 point I just held her to try to calm her down, which worked, but she started screaming again when I put her in bed. We ignore her, try not to make eye contact or speak to her when she is doing this, but it doesn't seem to sink in.
This morning she refused to get up for nursery, and I had to force her into her clothes. I lost the plot and shouted at her, and she had to be bundled into the car. Any tips or advice on what to do next. I've got PND and am on AD's just now, and I know that she has picked up on it, but I treat her the same and try to tire her out each day she is home with me, with a walk and trip to see her friends if at all possible. When she is lovely she is my best friend, but she changes just like a switch when she decides to be bad. I do offer her choices and we don't rule the house with an iron rod, but I'm beginning to think that I should. Please help.