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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is 2yo too young for the naughty step?

16 replies

GetDownYouWillFall · 06/01/2010 19:30

My 2yo DD is showing her "independent" side and I feel I really need some kind of discipline technique.

She has started throwing objects at the dog and laughing, thinking it is highly amusing.

I have told her to stop countless times. Today I tried the naughty step, but had to hold her there as she wouldn't stay. Is it too early to introduce this? Any other discipline tips please?

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whomovedmychocolate · 06/01/2010 19:32

Hahahhaha you tried to reason with a two year old!

No it won't work. You have to bore them into submission. WIthdraw all attention when she's being a little sod. Don't react at all to any attention you don't want to see repeating.

Throwing food - don't say a word, walk out the room. Don't mention it etc.

Then when she does something you do want, praise, pay lots of attention.

Also try distraction if you know she's just about to pull a trick on you!

mad4myboys · 06/01/2010 19:33

my ds1 was about 2 when i started it, he stayed there for 2 minutes. Shut the door and hold it shut if need be! Then have to make sure i explained why he was there and he had to apologise or he had to stay there. He is now 3.6 and still use it, now 3 minutes but now also have a stair gate on the door because of ds2.

I think it will take a few attempts for her to 'get' it. I also dont put him straight on the step, he gets a warning first and if he carrys on he gets put on step

preggersplayspop · 06/01/2010 19:36

I can sometimes reason with my 2yo, but a naughty step would just infuriate him and think would tip him over from being cheeky to full blown meltdown. I agree that ignoring is probably the best route, but can be really hard to do. I just can't keep my big gob shut sometimes and go on and on when I know I shouldn't.

Original poster

GetDownYouWillFall · 06/01/2010 19:37

thanks Whomoved, but I can't ignore her throwing things at the dog! The poor dog is going to have a nervous breakdown!
Agree though re. lots of praise when she's good. You're right you just can't reason with a 2yo. She is so contradictory. Yesterday she wanted her hat on AND off AT THE SAME TIME.
Thanks mad, I will persevere

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Original poster

GetDownYouWillFall · 06/01/2010 19:38

I suppose what I'm looking for is a technique where ignoring simply won't work. Ignoring hurting an animal is unacceptable IMO

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mad4myboys · 06/01/2010 19:42

a 2 year old IME knows exactly what they are doing if they have been told 'no' previous...

how about taking one of her favourite toys away if you dont get on with the step? then make a big thing of giving it back when she has been kind to the dog?

Batteryhuman · 06/01/2010 19:44

I used to put my DS in the utility room (glass door so I could see him) and hold the door shut. I agree with the one minute per year like mad4myboys. Making him sit in one place would never have worked.

wonderingwondering · 06/01/2010 19:46

I put my 2 yr old on the naughty step, and have done from about 18 months. She's 2.5 now and definitely understands (started ordering me on to it occasionally). She's quite strong-willed, but it does work.

I don't advocate holding doors shut and so on, or physically holding her on the step - that's just physical force, and you need to make them do as you say because they respect your authority and know you will be consistent and mean what you say.

So I put her back on the spot and made her stay there until she waited for me to say she could move (it was only about 30 secs when she was very young). But it meant putting her back on the spot repeatedly until she did stay there.

I reserve the naughty spot for real badness - hitting etc, or for repeatedly being naughty. At other times I use distraction, she's quite amenable to 'look, a squirrel in the tree' etc!

mad4myboys · 06/01/2010 19:47

we have many a squirrel in the trees! Ive been know to favour, did you see that clown? In the high street

overmydeadbody · 06/01/2010 19:48

YES it is too early. The naughty step is horrible imo.

74slackbladder · 06/01/2010 19:56

not too early. not always v effective but the general idea that some behaviour is not going to be tollerated and they are basically excluded from whatever else is going on in the house for a short period of time till they can say sorry and have a chance to think about what they have done wrong it no bad thing IMO. they can understand a lot at 2 i think.
as long as you think they realise what its all abotu and that you explain clearly why you are doing i think it can be beneficial.
the problem with it is that they might get to the point where they dont really mind being in the naughty corner, so then you have to start with removing fave toys/treats/tv etc....

kwaker5 · 06/01/2010 19:57

Too early for my DS but maybe it depends on the child.

I find confiscation worked best for us at 2: 'if you do that again, mummy will take it away'. But make sure you do take it away and don't give it back under any circumstances if they tantrum. I would then put it back while he was in bed.

I think it needs to be very simple at that age: undesirable action=consequence after one warning.

wonderingwondering · 06/01/2010 20:01

I don't think them 'liking' the naughty step is a problem (I don't actually call it a naughty step - I just say 'stand there').

I see it more as disrupting the pattern of unwanted behaviour, a sort of time out. It doesn't have to be throughly unpleasant and demoralising, it's just a couple of minutes stood away, changing the mind-set and starting again - I explain why she's there, she says sorry, we cuddle and then she plays nicely.

MumofJTM · 06/01/2010 20:04

I use naughty step - check out my recent post about my 2.4yr DS chasing attacking our dogs. Most people who responded to that recoemmended naughty step with no warning to show instantly how completely unacceptable it is, removal of favourite toy etc. We're persevering here too!

Incidently I've been using naughty step since before he was 2, and always been OK if you explain before and after what he's on for, stay calm and put him back straight away if he strays and get apology afterwards. I guess it depends on your LO, but I wouold think comprehension should be fine. Whether they'll cooperate is another matter . . . .

Good luck, and big licks to your dog from mine - they know what it's like!

whomovedmychocolate · 06/01/2010 20:16

Personally I'd put myself on the naughty step and read a book till she stopped being a sod. The dog has legs, he can run away.

Original poster

GetDownYouWillFall · 06/01/2010 20:46

thanks MumofJTM!
Our poor dogs can be battered and abused in solidarity!
Our dog is so sweet natured she doesn't run away - even though she could - she just so wants to be with the family. She would rather have things thrown at her than to run off to the other room on her own.
I do think it is good for young children to have pets though. Our DD is starting to learn some kind of empathy (although slowly), and she is much more confident around animals than other toddlers I know

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