Im confused, if you leave siblings to it.....

[Gravitygirl]

in terms of fighting etc how do you teach them its unacceptable to rough and tumble with mary at playgroup.....

My two are 3 ( nearly 4) and two and up until reading a post moments ago thought I was handling things ok between them. Now Im not so sure but I just cant stand watching my eldest lay in to her little brother with so much more accuracy. It maybe true what my DH says that I am protective over my youngest but I dont want to favor one more than the other or give that impression.

Any advice?

It depends what you mean by 'leaving them to it' - I haven't read the recent posts on that thread, sorry. For me, physical violence designed to hurt is a no. We don't hit full stop. Verbal arguments, and daft squabbling, and playfighting are a different matter. They need to learn to resolve those things themselves.

FWIW if a rising 4 was hitting a 2yo, I'd intervene. Nursery age is more than old enough to know not to lash out, whatever the provocation (and 2yo's can be annoying, and are more than able of starting it) I recall separating the DCs more than once at that age on the basis that if they can't play nicely together, then they have to play apart.

THankyou, although Im not sure my two ever do squabbling just full on fighting.. I will watch more carefully and take more notice of how I am dealing with it and go from there.

Feel Im doing it completley wrong I must be insane for wanting to add a thir into the mix

There's no right way of doing things, don't worry If you were happy with the way you were handling things before then carry on! Don't let MN give you doubts...

Everyone has different priorities - I know, compared to a lot of MNers I'm disgusting liberal about some things (TV and console games for one, McDonalds for another), but I'm horribly strict about how the DCs treat each other. Different people have different triggers.

My BFs kids get very physical, and fight and it makes me wince, but they're lovely kids (and don't get into fights at school either) so different approaches work for different people.

Have a comforting nonMN and good luck/congratulations with number 3!

I have a 5 year old a 3 year old and a 10 month old. Any kind of rough play is a no no with the baby, general wrestling and verbal type arguements I allow up to a certain point with the older two but with violence I intervene any time I see it (which I suspect I often dont!) even if it is only a "hey stop that!"

I would stop the violence immediately I have a 5.5 yo and a (very big) 2.3 yo both boys. They squabble and sometimes it gets physical and then it has to stop. Children can get hurt very easily and they need to understand that punching someone you disagree with is not the right solution!

By letting your children fight like this they may take it to other children - particularly at nursery.

Im not sure if I made myself clear but was I was worrying about was over interfearing rather than not doing anything at all. I have never tolerated any violence between my two but reading the other thread wondered if I was being too hard and should tolerate some forms of it, but its just not in my nature to do it as I hate violence. So I guess I was asking what kind of @violence' do people deem acceptable, if that makes any sense at all lol.

Sorry Gravity, no i agree with you, you're not over interfering. My DH always thinks we should 'toughen' our boys up a bit but I just wonder why he would want to encourage that behaviour and perpetuate it when there is so much aggression already.