ADHD, Hyperactivity or just a lively 5 yr old boy?

[peachespaige]

Hi there.

Im really in need of advice.
My son who is 5 and in yr1 at school seems to have a real problem concentrating and with his focus, he is forever moving about and fidgeting and tapping or poking his friends that he has been moved on a chair at the back of the room while the the rest of the class sit on the mat.
He flits from one ativity to the next and is forever talking. He can only run, finds it impossible to walk and if faced with a page from his reading book he almost seems overwhelmed by it and cant focus on it, he can read and sound out words well, he just doesnt want to sit still and focus for that long.
His teacher thinks he needs one on one but cant provide it. He is happy to tell me whats wrong but wont help me come up with a solution to reslove it. He gave me a list of what he doesnt do, ie use punctuation correctly or recount well enough but never told me one thing he is good at.
I seem to be on the edge of my seat at church or nativity plays etc just waiting for him to do something silly.

He is kind and generous and shares beautifully, he gives his sweets away and is concerned for people but boy is he mischievious and hyper.

Its no good saying he sounds like a typical boy because if this were so why arent any of the other boys in his class like this to this degree, it was the same in playgroup and nursery.

He also seems to act really over the top if we have guests over, he'll jump on them or near them, run around them and smack their bottoms etc.

Im so sad that he has been singled out in school and he says he is being blamed for certian things or that he only taps this girl as she does it when the teacher is not looking. I asked if he had told the teacher but he said he just wouldnt listen to him.

What can I do??

Peaches, I had some similar issues with ds (6) - he always wanted to jump up and talk, was singled out by the teacher and the other kids (to a degree) picked on him as a result.

After the teachers doing nothing for some time, I wrote to the head and explained that the school environment was damaging my child and that I did not recognise the child they portrayed. I also highlighted what I believed the problems to be.

My letter was not critical of the school (as I did not want them to be defensive) and asked for a dialogue to be set up with the head, class teacher and Senco to see if we could determine how to move forward.

Whilst this has not resulted in every problem being solved, the outcome has been very positive. I now have monthly review meetings with the school. Ds has his own private incentives to behave which are between him and his teacher and the other children are not privy to. When ds is blamed for things, there is no longer an acceptance that it is his fault and amazingly, we have so far discovered that he has only once truley been blamed for something which he instantly admitted to - every other time, it has been down to another child.

Ds had other issues which are not relevant to your son but which have been directly addressed.

You need to approach the head and ask if you can work on solutions.

Hi there.

I also feel that ds is being blamed for things that arent always his fault.

Well after giving him a keyring to fiddle with (instead of annoying his friends) and making sure he was allowed back on the mat, he seems to have had a relatively trouble free day. His teacher is actually keen to carry on with the keyring even though he said that ds kept dropping it on purpose. Ah well baby steps.

We used to have a lot of Australian teachers who would make the children do sets of star jumps before each lesson to expell their energy. However when the Aussies left so did their techniques, we've asked if we could try something like this again but its like banging your head agianst a brick wall.

Roll on the meeting.

Oh and dh seems to be calmer and much more rational.