terrible twos - what works? i'm desperate

[kissmummy]

My DS is 2.6months and has just hit the terrible twos with a vengeance. over the last few days he has been incredibly challenging - contradicting every single thing you ask him to do, squirming and kicking whenever I try to dress or undress him, sometimes hitting me round the face if i pick him up, sometimes even just lying down on the street when we are walking along . I feel sometimes he is testing me with sheer naughtiness (kicking his basket of nappies/toiletries off the table on purpose; flicking the xmas tree lights on and off continually despite being told it is dangerous etc etc etc) and I am not passing the test very well. i get very angry and shout at him, especially when he's physically difficult (kicking or smacking at me). Mealtimes are a nightmare as he rejects everything except pasta.
He does not seem unhappy - on the contrary, much of this behaviour is accompanied by cheeky giggling and happy screeches - but i am really struggling with it. we have a naughty chair but it doesn't work very well. Does anyone have any good coping strategies? I am ashamed that i lose my temper so often, but i am a very unhappy mummy right now.

Hmm mine has just hit this too, BUT as he is usually so nice, I reckon it is teeth. Have you checked for back molars coming through?

We've had clingy, naughty, very VERY shouty and screamy and kind of willfil...I don't find anything helps apart from judicious use of calpol, feeding on a regular basis, and distratcion - plus lots of cuddles.

Everything else has to be put to one side till he can let us do it, ie shopping, whatever - is almost impossible at times!

I don't think they mean to do it. They are just acting out how they feel.

Sometimes I just play with DS1 toys and he then watches me and see's I am A-Ignoring him....and B- Having more fun than him.

I do the naughty stair and count to ten, if he gets up I start again until he sits for ten, even if I have to hold him gently...then say all gone or finished and have a hug and kiss.

I do use bargaining alot. He went through a stage of refusing to have his bum changed, and just when you opened it up he would leg it or squirm - poop everywhere. Now I say "bob pants first then we'll read a book" Or whatever it is he wants to do..works well (bob the builder pull ups!)

SOmetimes I do just leave him to get on with it and go to the other room, making sure I can check if he is safe, and he only lasts a while before realising it;s not worth it.

Do have the buggy/walking issue though. Doesnt like buggy and cant walk for long so wants carrying...cant do when I am heavily pregant..so no tips there!

Good luck and hang in there

xx

...plus within reason I'm giving in as he screams otherwise...just seems unable to cope with silly things like changing from the channel he likes on the TV - ds1 is suffering slightly in the cause of peace.

But I know it doesn't last that long. They're only little.

kissmummy, what happens when you suggest time out/your naughty chair? Mine starts behaving immediately but I think he really hates it because I make him sit alone in his room and he never chooses to be alone. It is really the only bargaining tool I have as bribery doesn't usually seem to work.

Dominique sometimes he just laughs and thinks its some kind of joke, despite me looking really stern and sounding stern too. The one time it worked was when both me and my husband stood by the chair looking and sounding stern! but it took him a long while to get the message. he kept getting up from the chair and we kept telling him to sit down again. once he sat still for a few seconds we let it go and had cuddles. it's all very challenging. i've no idea how all you amazing mums manage with several children - i only have one and it's hard enough!

Kissmummy - you could be describing my ds... only this behaviour started at around 18mo and he has only just turned 2!

I've tried time out and naughty step but he just doesn't stay put!

I really lose my temper when he laughs at me and I a couple of times I ended up really swearing and shouting at him when he has persistently fought me while I've been trying to change his nappy, kicking me, hitting me and trying to get off the mat - I just find it utterly demoralising and exhausting.

Most of the time he is so sweet and lovely, but just these odd times he drives me around the twist when he either refuses to listen to me when I ask him not to do something (like throwing things) or he is physically resisting me getting him dressed/undressed/changing his nappy.