How do I get my 8 week old to sleep other than on me!?!

[Milkmaid35]

I am Mum of 3, with 8 week old boy. First 2 weeks wonderful, but he's got progressively worse since. He will fall asleep on someone, preferably me, but when put down in moses basket, carrycot etc, even after half and hour's snuggling, more often than not, will wake and scream. He is on some meds for suspected colic and does seem to be in a lot of pain and have queried reflux, but cannot seem to pinpoint the problem. He will go down around 7pm in the evening and sleep for 5-7 hours sometimes, but will not go down thereafter and am at wits end! Please help if you've experienced similar. Thanks!

Sounds just like my DD2. We had similar problem - sleeping on us but not in moses basket and screaming when she was put down. she also had suspected reflux and went on to have some medication for that (Gaviscon? I think), after she had been laying down for a few moments I swear you could actually hear it gurgling up into her throat and then she would scream for ages. Kept trying to tell people that it wasn't just a baby cry but really sounded like she was in pain and kept being put off as an over protective mum. Wasn't until DH came to doctors with me that Doc finally started to take me seriously. So don't be afraid to push for more help.

Have you tried warming the moses basket before you put him in? use a hot water bottle and take it out before you lie him down- you know yourself what it's like getting into a freezing cold bed, imagine if you'd been cosily snuggled into mum then put into it!
Another thing which was amazing for my daughters reflux was raising the head of her moses basket - dead easy we rolled up a hand towel and slipped it under the mattress, only gives a slight tilt but really seemed to help.
Have taken all my DCs to baby massage classes and the HV gave us some techniques specifically aimed at relieving wind and colic so used to give her a short massage most evenings - was also a really nice quiet time for us as well.
Hope this helps

Thank you so much for that - it so helps knowing others are going through similar and have survived!! Had similar with my first, but not so much the second, now it's come back to haunt me a 3rd time!

Had the moses basket raised for along time, but no effect, but the using hot water bottle to warm the bed sounds like a good idea and I will try that tonight, thanks.

Am trying the gaviscon again, but only twice a day as it made him so constipated before, which was even more distressing to witness.

He's not going down for daytime naps either and just snatches 20 mins if that, (if not held or out and about), in every 3 hours. Am breastfeeding, but mainly expressing due to colief and gaviscon additions, but am being made to feel that it's my fault (ie my milk), that's upsetting him, by some family and friends, although am keeping a close eye on my diet of course.

I will persevere with Dr as hear that this reflux takes different forms and although he doesn't sick up all the time, he is obviously in pain, squirming and doing the usual pain things and it could be that it's not coming up the whole throat - perhaps half way. Will speak to my HV re massage too.

Thanks so much - will let you know how I get on!

Put him to sleep on his tummy?

I'm sure you don't mean that, picante. If you do, then it's important that you don't give dangerous advice on a forum which people look to for information.

This was exactly like my ds too. I think it's only a natural, survival instinct. It's VERY draining, tiring and you can't get ANYTHING done. They will grow out of it though honestly. x

Both my boys have been the same. I find swaddling can sometimes help them to sleep longer. A vibrating bouncy chair can also be soothing. Finally, white noise has always been pretty effectivefor getting longer daytime naps so I just stick the hoover on or the hairdryer. You could buy a white noise CD instead if you prefer.

get a good sling - it's a life-saver for the first few weeks at home - he can sleep where he feels safe and secure (next to you) and you can get on with stuff

he wasn't being 'wonderful' the first two weeks, just getting used to being in the world outside - what you're experiencing now is frankly normal for an 8 week old

if you think about what he was used to for months on end when he was inside you - warm, cosy, squished, noisy, dark-ish, food on tap, constant companionship and compare that with what he's come out into it's not really surprising that he doesn't want to be on his own

don't worry about spoiling him with too many cuddles now - you can't cuddle a little baby too much - it's just responding to his needs, which will change soon enough

Sounds very similar to my DS1 so can empathise. Unfortunately, it was just a 'ride it out' thing and by 15/16 weeks (sorry) he started to calm down.

I used a sling/baby carrier which did seem to help and at night swaddling helped for while.

Tried everything for colic/reflux but again it was just time really - just kept trying everything going in the hope something would work but unfortunately not a lot did.

Rather than sleeping on tummy my H.V. recommended first trying to elevate the top of the moses basket/cot with books under the legs and failing that, as he was more settled when he wasn't put down on his back, rolling up a towel in front of him with a pillow propping up his back to put him on his side. Had to lay him in 'recovery position' with his arms to make sure he didn't roll and you obviously have to make sure they're secure but this did help. I know it goes against most literature but it did help and as you're a 3rd time mum am sure you'll be more confident than I was as a 1st time mum.

Have you thought about taking your ds to a cranial osteopath? My ds saw one at 2 weeks old as he would only sleep if lying on me or in pram and after two sessions was able to sleep lying down. Might be worth looking into.

I have a 9 week old DD (2 Nov, what about your DS?) who is pretty similar.
She likes to sleep in the sling (on me) in the day and prefers to sleep with me at night. Occasionally if I put her down when she is in a deep sleep (feel the arm, if you can move it like a doll's she's well gone) she will stay put. This can be helped, also, I find if you wrap a jumper of yours (worn and smelling f you) round the hot water bottle you use to heat the basket. Then, when you remove the bottle leave the jumper so that it is warm... it fakes the presence of you for a wee bit long and hopefully gets past the crucial bit which is that first wake up moment after you have put them down....