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When should she start crawling - advice needed!

30 replies

poddy · 30/12/2009 22:00

Hope you don't mind me starting a new thread here, but I've searched through the past messages and I can't find an answer to this lil' conundrum...
DD1 is 28 weeks old and despite being titchy (she's 11lbs 13oz) she's eating well, developing well and doing all the things she should like clapping, smiling, cooing, picking things up and even trying to sit (albeit, a bit wobbly and not for long!).
She's happy on her front for max 20 mins or so before getting frustrated, but can push herself up on her arms to look around.
All seems rosy, except that mother-in-law, who's had six kids, is very vociferous about her concerns for my baby's development.
She started by trying to get me to stop breastfeeding at 7 weeks, because dd was so small and was only gaining weight slowly. She seemed unable to accept that at only 5lb 8oz at birth, dd had started small. Her birth weight and weight gain were comparable to mine as a baby - none of the women in our family are over 5' and none of our babies are ever over 6lbs so dd was entirely normal for us. Even the midwife & health visitors recognise we're just a small family and are happy as long as her weight gain is steady and her development remains appropriate for her age.
Mother-in-law has now moved her concerns to dd's inability to crawl. According to her, dd should be put on her front all day, and to sleep, otherwise she'll never learn. She swears blind my sister-in-law crawled at 13 weeks so is convinced that my dd is dangerously behind and needs checking.
Now my brothers and sisters-in-law (none of whom have kids) have picked up on her concerns and are making comments about me not pushing dd enough, not supporting her development and generally making me feel like a crp mum who can't get it right. I know they're only being concerned for their niece's welfare, but it's really eating away at me. I think they're basing their concerns on the fact they never question their mother, and that in this case, she's talking bllocks. I mean, really - crawling at 13 weeks? Surely that should be in the Guinness Book of Records?!
My poor husband is in the middle of all this. He can see how it's getting to me and I've dragged him to the clinic to see how the health visitors coo over her 'great coordination' and 'good head control'. However, he's reluctant to start WWIII with his family, and is desperately trying to pour oil on troubled waters. It's already led to arguments between him and his mum when he's defended me, and I'm at the stage where I dread visiting them and stress about it for days beforehand, knowing I'm in for more sniping.
Please someone talk sense to me. I think my baby's entirely normal, but I'm now starting to doubt myself...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Egg · 01/01/2010 19:39

My DD is tiny too. She crawled at 11 months (so about 48 weeks?). Her twin brother crawled at 7 or 8 months. DD walked at 16 months, twin brother at 12 months. She is way better at running than him now and has been for ages (they are two next weekend). MIL sounds mad!

LadyintheRadiator · 01/01/2010 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jollyma · 01/01/2010 20:50

Sounds like you are going to have to develop a sweet blank smile and nod while hearing blah, blah, blah with your MIL! This won't be the last time she gives her 'opinion'. Sounds like your baby is doing just fine, have confidence in yourself.

Ds2 is 10 months next week and showing no signs of crawling and can't really be bothered to roll either. Ds1 is 7 and you would have no idea who out of his peer group was walking, talking, etc first. Things were different 30 years ago (like tummy sleeping) but recognising things have changed can be taken as a criticism of how things were done 'in my day' by many grandparents.

Wattinger · 01/01/2010 21:01

My DS never crawled - ever! He shuffled around on his bottom a bit till he walked at 14 months. So your MIL may have a long wait!

care4families · 05/01/2010 18:41

One of the problems here is that your MIL does not realise that she is at least fifth in line when it comes to giving advice. Have a read of an excellent book called The Birth of a mother by Daniel Stern. You can find this on Amazon. Lots of really good advice about what happens when you become a mother and how to find good advice and how to cope with advice you don't want or need.
D Stern tells us that every new mother needs another 13 mums to support her in her new role. Well done Mums net for providing this support in abundance.

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