Strategies for dealing with aggressive and provocative 6 yr old, please!

[tempertantrum]

6 yr old ds2 has been behaving atrociously this holiday. Aggressive, contrary, provocative. I need some new strategies as to what to do when he does things that are, frankly, unacceptable. i think his main motivation is attention seeking so have been trying to ignore more and stay as calm as possible (not always achieved...). But i really feel I have to have some consequences for aggressive and threatening behaviour that aren't just adding fuel to the flames.
Any ideas? (I should add he is bright, charming, extrovert and lovely much of the time, but tends to fly into rages during the holidays - think he misses the structure and stimulation of school).

bump! Any ideas gratefully received as I am feeling really worn down and at a loss...

You could be describing my dd2 (also 6!).

At the moment we are using very similar strategies to you - I'm fighting with myself to stay calm and ignore, but by God it's hard!!

Maybe it's an age thing?

I will watch this thread with interest ...

"Away" by Amy Bloom. Am finding it unputdownable.

Oops, that was for another thread

thanks, tsc. We have tried being hard line but there are two problems - 1) he is deliberately pushing buttons and it is hard to enforce time out etc without increasing the amount of attention he is getting, which I think is part of the reason he is doing it and 2) to enforce time out we often have to physically hold him in a room and that can be risky when we are on the age of rage ourselves.

We used to put him in the porch but he started banging on the (glass) door so have had to try other locations for time out. what do you then do though if they up the ante by destroying things/trying to get back in etc?
Couldn't really dump him outside in subzero temperatures I don't think...

Mine go in the porch, if they bang on the door (original 60's non safety glass) then they are ejected into the rear garden regardless of weather.

Only had to do it once now I just need to issue the warning and no more banging!

I am too, trying to get my 6 year old to listen to me without success.

I don't know what to do to be honest.

Can you recreate, as far as possible, the routine and structure he needs?

Plan ahead, so he knows what to expect, be strict about meal times and bedtimes to ensure he gets enough food and sleep.

TBH the christmas break is a very difficult one for children who need routine. Too much excitement, late nights and rich food and sweets.....overstimulation all the way.

He is only 6 and can't cope with it.

Oh, and of course, as with all small boys, lots and lots of fresh air and exercise, whatever the weather, every day.

I am guessing that maybe you and his dad are trying to have a restful break, as well as dealing with the festivities? Not compatable with your ds's needs at this age.