play fighting

[thegrowlygus]

Gah.
I have had enough and it is only 10 to 8.

2 boys, ages 5 and 2. Play fighting all the time which I know is "normal". What gets me down is the 30 seconds play fight followed by wailing from one/other/both because "he talked at me funny", "he is going to bite me", "he hurt me" or just a general "MUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYY"

How does anyone else handle this?

I have just put them in their separate bedrooms for screaming at each other (instigated by DS2 doing the unthinkable - holding DS1's toy guinea pig - which of course DS1 hasn't even looked at for months).

It is impossible to be the referee so do I just leave them beating each other senseless?!! Straight jackets? Stay in your room?!

Where did I put that 'raising boys' book?

My two are exactly the same age and we get this too. It mainly happens when I'm not directly supervising them or am trying to do something else.

Some of it you just have to accept and let them get on with it - part of it is just natural development. Anything physical we intervene - they get told off, explanation, made to say sorry, time out depending on how serious. We try and make sure they have things to do/play with if we have to be occupied elsewhere (not just tele on and free play). Also we're trying to spend lots of time doing stuff together so they get to see how to play together happily (not something that comes naturally necessarily). Trains, drawing, painting, jigsaws, gymnastics, lego, playdough, baking (biscuits are a good one) - all stuff they can BOTH do. I also encourage older ds to 'help' younger ds to encourage them to rely on/trust each other. We also try and get them involved in whatever we're doing, even a 2yo can 'dust'.

Hope that all helps

No. Play fighting between our 2 DSs has been banned since the dawn of time. In our experience 'play fighting' is always a precursor to 'real fighting' and someone in tears.

Our DSs know not to do it and if it ever starts up we instantly separate them immediatley. Never let it get going from the start is the solution. Do not treat it as 'normal' or 'boys-will-be-boys'. I have seen far too many examples of boys at school who treat aggression as a normal mode of interaction because of play fighting at home often with siblings. In fact 'play fighting' at home between older and younger siblings is often covert bullying.

We take our DSs to Judo and Karate so they learn controlled aggression and plenty of sport and excercise lets off steam in a positive way.

IME they do it when they are bored. Not many boys plan 'lets do some play fighting'

I let mine do it all the time they are laughing helplessly. In fact sometimes I play with them

but as soon as someone gets hurt I wade in

Thank you for all the advice!

Yep - totally agree with the boredom thing. And it is worse whenever I actually try to do anything!

We do do stuff together, but that tends to end in fighting too (baking/games ends in older one sobbing that younger one not 'doing it properly' and 'spoiling everything') (he is a bit, erm, sensitive - it is my penance - I was just the same!!) It is a good idea to get DS1 to help DS2 - that might just work. Will give it a go later.

We have also been cooped up at home a lot lately due to weather etc which hasn't helped so off out this afternoon to burn lots of energy!

Have to go. argument ensuing.