A question about fussy eaters (11 and 9)

[fartmeistergeneral]

They are actually getting worse as they get older. We've never pandered to it, and I try as much as possible - like 99% of the time - to make one meal - if they eat it they eat it, if they don't, they don't.

Over the past while it's been bugging me that I don't generally get to eat what I want. I started making meals that I like, that my dh likes, and that are healthy. Eg veggie risotto - and they just refuse to eat it.

ANYWAY, tonight I have defrosted some beef to make a rather delicious (even if I say so myself) beef casserole. Now, I know they will refuse to eat, cry etc (at their age!!) so what would you all do? Should I make a meal for us and another for them? Or should I make it and accept that they won't touch it?

Another thing is that my eldest has a wobbly tooth and will use that as an excuse not to eat - but there's always an excuse!!!

Serve up the beef-put everything else in bowls and let them help themselves. They won't starve, especially just after Christmas!
At their age you could let them do some of the cooking-in which case they get to choose, on the days that they cook. If you cook-you choose.

Maybe you're right, the eating thing is killing me, so frustrating, thought they would get better as they got older, but definitely worse....

If they don't touch their dinner what happens - do they go to bed hungry?

Yes, the rule in this house is that if they don't eat their dinner, no biscuit after, then no supper (usually a cereal).

Just serve it and don't say anything.

Maybe put a brown loaf and some butter out and let them have that if they don't want what you've cooked, but don't let them have anything exciting.

I assume you don't do evening snacks if they've not eaten?

It sounds like you're doing all the right things - you provide the meals and at their age they can decide if they eat or not. I like the idea of having a night or two a week where they choose the meal and help cook.

My sister was incredibly fussy as a child, despite never being pandered too (me and my brother never were). All she would eat was white bread, currant buns, plain pasta, cereal, margarita pizza and carrots. And she was an incredibly skinny little thing. This lasted up until her mid teens tbh, and now at 21 she's healthy and eats normally - don't know if that's a comfort to you or not! Some kids just are fussy, despite best efforts.

Yes, serving it with bread and they will certainly eat the bread!! Gah! Will this ever end?? I thought that by the time ds1 was 11 he'd be guzzling curries.......

Yes, i guess one day it will all turn around, it just galls me that me and dh are so healthy and I can honestly say that ds2 has not eaten a single vegetable since the days of freezing his food into ice cube trays.

My son has always been extremely fussy and I have always made a separate meal for him; it's never bothered me to do so. If he doesn't like what the rest of us are having, he'll have pasta and pesto followed by an apple.

However, as time goes on, he is getting better and trying new stuff all the time. (He's 15 now)

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Never heard of super-tasters???!

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I was the fussiest eater in the world until I was 16. I couldn't have food touching and my diet was beans (next to) toast and tomato soup. I used to cry if I had to eat in a cafe because they always made it wrong.
When I turned 16 I started to taste new things and now there isn't a thing I wouldn't try, problem is I can't stop thinking about food now haha. I have a 4 year old daughter that has a brilliant appetite, I can't complain. My two year old son is the same as I was if not worse, he won't eat meat, cheese or fish but he hasn't actually tried them since he was a baby and was eating blended food. So I decided to put his 3 meals a day in front of him and if he doesn't eat it I won't give him anything else until his next meal. IT WORKS but it takes alot of will power to not give junk food in between meals. The only food I will give in between meals is fruit. I also found that he was drining way to much juice which was filling him up, making him feel full. Don't feel bad about the fact your child has barely eat that day, think of it as you are doing the best for them. I would hate for my children to be so afraid of food like I was. To be honest I spend my childhood getting my own way, my mum didn't do me any favours by letting me eat what ever I wanted.

Biggest mistakes I made were;

• Giving him to much juice.

• Giving him toast before bed because I was worried he might get hungry in the night.

• Asking him what he wants for his meals.

• Giving him junk food in between meals