What can your 14 month old do?

[dizzee]

I hope I'm worrying about nothing, but my almost 14 month old baby seems quite a bit behind other babies his age. Just wondered what other people think.

He started a little bit of commando crawling at 10 months, but only really got moving well at 11 months. Finally at 12.5 months he started crawling on hands and knees.

He could not get into a sitting position on his own until he was 11 months.

He did not pull up until his first birthday.

Now he crawls well, cruises the furniture, walks pushing his toys or holding hands, but cannot stand alone for even a second, let alone walk.

On it's own I wouldn't be too worried about a slight physical delay as he is progressing and I know he's only really at the slow end of normal. However he has delays in other areas too.

He speaks no words - just babbles. Lots of mama and dada, but they aren't directed at us.

He seems to have very poor understanding of what we say to him. He will wave bye bye when asked, but other that he doesn't know the names of anything else - cup, bottle ball etc.

I'm also worried that he doesn't seem to love us. No kisses and cuddles. He doesn't put his arms up for us to pick him up. We give him loads of kisses and cuddles, but he's not interested.

In other ways he's doing ok. He learnt to wave, clap hands and point at about 9 months. He drinks on his own from a bottle and sippy cup. He feeds himself with his hands and from a spoon with help. He has a pretty good pincer grip now.

He's a lovely little boy. Very smiley and plays very well with his toys.

As you can probably guess he is my first and I've little other experience with children. I keep reading that babies are either early walkers or early talkers, but DS seems to be late at both.

Sorry this is so long.

sounds fine. as he is moving on in milestones

dizzee - My dd2 will be 14 months on 13th Jan. She sounds quite similar to your ds and I feel she is doing great!

She crawled at 10 months and is now pulling up non-stop and cruising around the furniture. She has tried standing alone a couple of times for a second or two but is still quite a way from walking alone.

On the talking front my dd2 is babbling away non stop but the only thing she says that I am sure of is DA for her daddy. She has no mom words for me at all.

She has only recently began to kiss me when I ask but ignores more often than not.

Everyone will tell you children are all different and will develop in their own time and I believe this is true.

It is difficult not to compare them but I thik your ds sounds fine.

Try not to worry but if you have a strong deep down instinct that something is not quite right it can do no harm to have him checked out and put your mind at rest.

dizzee have you had your year check from the HV yet, they should go through what he ought to be doing? Not walking at this age is perfectly fine, up to 18 months is still normal. I wouldn't have said from what you're saying that he is delayed with physical movement & he is cruising which means well on the way to walking.

DS2 had similar 'delays', he walked at 17 months which just at the edge of normal and is now seeing a speech & language therapist at 3 because of slow development there. But HV will prob advise to wait until he is 2 or if he's not walking after 18 months. That's what they did with ds2, and my father is a paed advised the same, 18months-2 is the key stage. Also whilst he's working on learning to walk/cruising, he won't be working on his language, you may find once he walks that his language picks up. Certainly that's happening with ds3 who walked a few weeks ago.

FWIW, I have twins now too (ds3 &dd) who are 14 months nearly 15 and only recently has the boy twin shown any interest in kissing & cuddling, he was really 'get off me' before then! Don't think he doesn't love you just because he doesn't kiss & cuddle, some babies don't or not that age. He also says very few words, I think he said card today but other than mama & dada that's it. His sister is more advanced but then girls are!
I won't say do'nt worry because I know you will, but sometimes you just have to wait to see what they'll do and mostly they move at their own pace & catch up in the end! I can't see any difference between ds1 & all of his friends at 6, and he was a late talker with language problems.

Thanks for all your replies.

I haven't had a 1 year check from the HV. When DS was 10 months we relocated to a different part of the country and so had to register with a new doctor. I still haven't heard anything from the HV and I've never had letters asking me to take him for his immunisations, so I'm assuming the HV here hasn't yet received his notes from our previous HV. For the jabs, I just took him myself to see the nurse, but I don't actually know how to get hold of the HV here.

It's nice to here of other babies at a similar age who are doing similar things. I don't want to be a competitive mum, but it's just a bit worrying watching other babies at DS's nursery who are the same age or younger. They are all running around and seem to be busy learning new things whilst DS just watches. I also get fed up with hearing about babies who had lots of words at less than a year old (surely they're exaggerating!!).

accessorizequeen - I think you may be right about working on learning to walk and not languages. Up until 10 months DS barely moved, but was doing well with pointing and waving etc. But since he started to get moving he hasn't really progressed at all on the language front.

I think I will just have to wait and see. I hope he walks soon though - he's a big baby (tall and heavy) and my arms are getting tired .

I think you baby sound like Ernestine compared to mine, they were all late walking. the older two at 15 months and my youngest is now 16 months and can't walk or stand unaided. Try to ignore all the " he's still not walking yet!" I'm sure you must get (I do). With the talking I think mums do exaggerate. The babbles you describe, I bet this is the same sounds that the other babies make who can 'talk' its just that other mums say its Shakespeare.

Mine weighs a ton as well! I was queuing up somewhere the other day bouncing her up and down on my hip saying "you weigh a ton, you weigh a ton" the big fat woman in front of me turned round and gave me an evil look!

If your still worried speak to your HV next time you see them, good luck

PS. If he is very heavy to carry get yourself a hippychick they are brilliant.

dizzee, my dad has always said that babies can't develop on 2 fronts which has reassured me a lot over the years (coming from an expert). A HV check might help put your mind at rest if you can get hold of him/her. I remember with ds2 thinking please please walk as by the time he did I was 5 months pg with the twins and he was a big boy!

My DD didn't walk til 17 months, HV said they don't worry til they're 2 and still not walking. Plenty of time yet!

My dd was 20 months before she could walk, she was more than 1 before she moved ( she was a bottom shuffled). Though have to say re the exaggeration comments she did have several words at nine months & lots by a year. A speach therapist said babies often specialise in some aspects & others fall at the wayside until later. My ds is 9 months but cannot wave clap point etc but seems to understand quite a bit. There issuch a huge variation in child development, just enjoy watching them & try not to stress. Two weeks after he learns to walk you'll take it totally forgranted!

All babies are different and it could be completely normal but for me, the affection bit rang alarm bells. It is an early indicator of Autism and would be something that I would want to get checked. Together with the slower development it could be early warning signs. Even if your child only has mild autistic tendencies, there is so much you can do to improve things if you catch it early.

Sounds about right to me. My DS is almost 14 months and doesn't kiss but does now hold us like he is cuddling us... I think.

We get a lot of babble but the only word that is actually word is "Daddy"

he does now walk but that is very recent advancement.

Good luck!!!

I agree with everyone here your baby sounds perfectly normal to me :o) my DS2 is 14 months too and has only just started saying a few ''words'' he only said mum and da up until last week and now in just a week says ta and gone, as for walking he has been crusing for a while now and has taken 2 steps but nothing for weeks..... ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT but your's sounds completely fine.

As for the HV just contact your doctor's surgery and they will give you the number of your local HV and you can then call and make an appointment for a visit.... either that or they will be able to tell you the time and place for HV weekly weigh in's and you can go along and introduce yourself x

If your child can point to what he wants and understand words, I wouldn't worry about autism (re Jen's comment).

And all the other things you've described sound fine. My sis ter was referred to speech therapy at 2 for not talking much but never really went, and is now a very articulate lawyer. She just didnt feel like talking when 2!

If you are nervous, nag the health visitors and gp. Ours never do much unless you ask.