Help! I thought things were supposed to settle around the 12 week mark, not get more difficult!

[minxofmancunia]

My 12 week old ds (already have dd 3) is a lovely happy little boy and adorable but the last few days things have become increasingly difficult rather than easier.

He's crying a lot more, incolsolably sometimes, almost colic like am as I thought this was supposed to stop not start at 12 weeks.

Also (am bf) very unsettled during feeds thrashing about, feel like there might be a supply issue as he seems fractious and dissatisfied. Went through hell bf dd so feeling v anxious about this. has a bottle of formula from dh at tea time but just won't take one from me (would like to move to just first thing and bed time bf ideally+ through the night if needed).

He wants te be cuddled all the time, have tried a sling but it's not great tbh, he just sleeps all the time and misses feeds plus he's huge so it's quite an encumbrance. Struggling to settle dwon for naps despite previously going to sleep without issue and waking 3 times in the night after sleeping through/waking just once for the past few weeks.

I can't help thinking it's all related to feeding which is why I want to gradually swap to ff as ime (my) babies are happier when they've got a full belly and aren't spending all day having little unsatisfying snack feeds and insuffucient naps cos they're hungry (feeds have gone from every 2.5/3 hours to every 1.5 hours, this is what I hate about bf, the trapped feeling).

Any thoughts or experiences of same? I'm just wondering where my lovely chilled little boy has gone

My ds1 suffered awfully from colic and I hung on for that magic promised 12 week barrier, and nothing happened. However, we then saw a cranial osteopath, as he had an assisted delivery and at 13 weeks he changed completely - still don't know whether it was down to the cranial osteopath or him just being a week late.

If you want to try it, Colief is magic stuff - it wasn't available for ds1, but with ds2 it made feeding soooo much easier. You express a drop or two of milk and mix 4 drops of colief with it to give before feeds. It worked like magic for us!

Best of luck

thanks for your reply, did colief with dd, you're right it's truly magical! If he continues to be unsettled during feeds will try again. Can't help thinking it's hunger tbh.

Roll on weaning!

I agree with colief comments - didn't discover it until 10 weeks and wished I had tried it earlier!
DD had awful colic and seemed to be getting a bit better around 11 weeks, then 12-13 weeks were worse than ever- as you describe plus constant screaming. We were despairing - had been waiting desperately for the magic 12 weeks! - then 14 weeks came and everything magically fell into place with feeding. We finally had a happy baby.
We're now onto a whole new set of 4-5 month issues! But 12 weeks does seem a tricky time. Hang in there, it'll pass.

Just another thought - DS1 started teething at bang on 12 weeks. The tooth didn't come until he was 4 months but it was definitely teething - red cheek, dribbly, unsettled, refusing bottles (he was ff), started waking at night.

It's such a myth that things get easier - IME new born babies are SO much easier - they just eat and sleep and want to be cuddled. No advice on the possible colic symptoms I'm afraid, but plenty of sympathy - I hope it gets better for you soon.

Both mine were bf and never went more than 2 hours for six months, often less, including night times.

Bf ing is more time consuming and I sense that is bothering you. Plus if you give the odd bottle then your supply will reduce.. catch 22.

Having a baby and a toddler is very very hard so do what you must to make things easier, even if that means switching to ff.

I'm not a breastfeeding expert but try not to blame it all on bf or your lack of supply. Often this is what newborn babies are like.

It's hard but they want to be cuddled, they want to be close to you. DS2 wanted feeding all evening from 6pm til midnight CONSTANTLY until he was about 14 or 15 weeks. Hated sleeping by himself, never settled in his crib.

I think you should make your own feeding choices if you are not breastfeeding but please don't think that it will solve all your problems.

I know everyone trots this out but the first few months are so tough but, in the grand scheme of things, last for such a short time.

Before you know it, they don't want to cuddle you anymore - make the most of it
Good luck

My DD was the same at 12 weeks (she's now 23 weeks). My HV told me that they have quite a major growth spurt at 12 weeks & the extra feeding (cluster feeding) is how they build up your milk supply to see them through this growth spurt period.

I actually introduced a bottle of formula as her last feed before bed at around this time as well. She seemed to settle back down at about 16/17 weeks but even now still wakes once or twice a night for a bf.

Going to be introducing solids in the next couple of weeks but not hanging onto any hopes of that making her sleep through!