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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Time to buy a potty?

12 replies

Roscat · 17/12/2009 20:35

My ds is 21 months and I am 6 months pregnant with our second child. The baby will be born in March and I had sort of decided to wait til at least late spring to potty train ds. I don't want to be doing it at a stressful time for him (ie round the time of the birth)or pushing him to be dry before the baby arrives or trying to do it when I'm struggling with a tiny baby.

However. Every night after his bath he pees on the carpet in around the same spot. He does it quite deliberately and tonight was doing it repeatedly before I could get a nappy on. In fact he was making quite an effort to squeeze out as much as possible.

I was wondering if it would be good to get a potty and see if I could persuade him to pee on it after his bath. But I'm not convinced he's really ready to be properly potty trained. I'm worried it might confuse him, as people seem to think that once you start into training you have to be very consistent.

What have other people done?

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CMOTdibbler · 17/12/2009 20:39

Nothing wrong with having a potty around and encouraging him to wee in it when convenient to you.

It's not an all or nothing process - I had a potty around from quite early on, and from 17 months or so DS would take himself off during nappy off time for the odd wee, and this just got more and more, then he'd ask to use the loo when I was, then was in pants without me having to do anything the week after his second birthday

MadamDeathstare · 17/12/2009 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJamin · 17/12/2009 20:55

That's interesting roscat, I'm in a v similar situation with nearly-2 DS, when he comes out of the bath and says goodnight to DH, he loves a naked runaround, and we say 'no wee-wees on the floor' - and whenever we say this, he does one! Did it 4 separate times last night so I think it was very much under his control.

I'm in no rush to potty train either, DS2 is due in March and I want to be clear of potty-training until the summer ideally. But I did wonder whether I was holding DS back a bit by not even having a potty. I think perhaps we might get one even if he just does his post-bath wee in it. Perhaps there might be a potty in his stocking for Christmas...!

MunchMummy · 17/12/2009 21:15

Go for it - it wouldn't be proper training anyway, just a post bath wee, so he won't get confused. You never know he might want to use it the rest of the time and hey presto - you've trained in a couple of days without meaning to - perfect

Original poster

Roscat · 17/12/2009 22:10

MrsJasmin!
Like you, I'm convinced my ds has this under his control. Given that most people seem to think it's a good idea, I don't know if I can hang out til Christmas to get the potty. This evening I had to wipe up about 5 little non-accidents!
I'm a bit scared of the whole potty training thing. Nappies are definitely in my comfort zone. I think teddy may have to demonstrate...

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MrsJamin · 18/12/2009 13:18

Loving the idea of you putting teddy on the potty! Do let me know how it goes!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 18/12/2009 18:33

Agrre with the others :

I think that you could get a potty, but don't think of it as potty training. Encourage him to pee in it at bathtime, but the rest of the time ignore it.

IMO, you need to be ready to potty train, and since 21 months is pretty early, you will be likely to have a lot of accidents at first.

I was scared of potty training too, but IMO, unless they ask you to be in pants, or there is a pressing reason to be out of nappies (eg starting a new nursery), then you can afford to leave it until nearer 3, when you can be sure they've got the physical control, and the whole process much quicker.

The people who I know who had problems were those who potty trained early.

I'm sure others will disagree though...

Original poster

Roscat · 18/12/2009 20:58

MrsJasmin - teddy is a very useful person in our house. He persuaded (by demonstration) ds to willingly take antibiotics for a week after initial screaming and crying. He also has a penchant for grapes...

Jamie.. - I wholeheartedly agree that I need to be ready for potty training and I most certainly am not. I'm hoping that if I leave it til later it won't take too long. I am going to opt for the potty at bathtime. Tonight we had a repeat performance and the whole place is going to be stinking of wee if I don't do something about it. Also I'm 6months pregnant and feeling too fat and lazy to be crawling round the floor babywiping up little puddles

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shivster1980 · 23/12/2009 11:35

We had DS sat on the potty before and after bath from about 20months ish. He always did a wee at that point.

However we started training proper when he was 2.5yrs and it took until he was 3yrs 2 months before he was reliably dry all the time.

Don't be pushed into potty training by other people's expectations (as I was) 21 months is still very young. My MIL and DM rambled on and on from my DS's 2nd birthday onwards! Argh, I wish I had ignored them for a bit, much less stressful.

Oblomov · 23/12/2009 11:50

I always advocate introducing a potty very early. I am not sure of my facts here, but what possible harm can be done?
Just be introducing it.

I advocate leaving potty training for as long as poss. with the child wanting to do it. and when most of the signs are there.
My ds choose to do it himself. and we only had literally a couple of accidents in a week, and then he was sorted. but it was becasue he choose.

But the point is, just saying this is a potty and if you WANT to, you can sit on it pre bath, what possible harm could that do then ?

Original poster

Roscat · 23/12/2009 22:59

Thanks for the excellent advice, ladies.
Well, we got a potty today so he could get used to it being around. I told him it was to do pee pee in and left it for him to play with if he wanted.
About half an hour later he announced that he wanted to do a pee in it. So I thought we'd give it a go - and he did a wee and a poo. I made a big fuss of him and let him flush the toilet when disposing of it.
The trouble was he was so delighted with it he wanted to repeat the experience, not once, but about 4 or 5 times by which time I was about ready to take it back to the shop. (Screams as I insist on the nappy going back on). I allowed him to have another go after tea and after his bath.
The funny thing was he did a big dirty nappy inbetween - this convinced me that he is nowhere near ready for proper training. I suspect he isn't ready to learn to hold on if he needs to. It's all just a big game. I hope we don't have to play it too often on Christmas day! If you're reading, MrsJamil, be warned

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Jamieandhismagictorch · 24/12/2009 11:13

Thanks for the update.

If it continues to be the least bit stressful for you, then I'd advocate taking the potty away again. At this age, you get lots of mixed messages from them !

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